Escape to the Movies: Fast Five

[DJDarque]

Nice to know I'm a douchebag just because I happen to like these movies.

 

[katsabas]

Hmmmmmm. I wasn't going to see it anyway, but I have to say, when I am not particularly fond of a movie genre someone really is into, I don't bash him. That's what he likes. Can I hope to change his opinion? Sure, but that is not going to happen by bashing his taste. It just makes him more determined.

With that said, I liked the 1st one and the 4th one. Are you calling me an 11 year old? Well done. You liked Daybreakers? Then I guess you have a blood fetish.


First Expendables and now this? Why? I used to always watch your reviews, Bob. Bash the movie and the producers that made it, not those who simply wanna have a good time.

 

[icame]

Bob, can you please get to the damn point within a minute please? Don't spend half the review not talking about the movie in question.

 

[palsma_rifle]

You can't pull off bloody, Bob. Also, I liked Cars.

 

[Scars Unseen]

I know I'm a bit late to the game, but did Bob actually imply that there was something good about the movie Torque? Because I was able to suspend my disbelief for that movie about as easily as I could for wire-fu performed with neon orange anchor line.

 

[Scars Unseen]

Personally, I think you should've kept your original name (Mark Vincent, I think?) instead of that pretty stupid stage name you carry about nowadays. It just makes you sound like a porn star.

You see, that was his back up plan, but he blew his chances by pissing off the porn industry. How are they supposed to make a porn parody of his action flicks when the movie is already called XXX?

 

[DSQ]

i thought jason statham had a good career? Hm.

Tbh I hope lettie isn't comimng back and there is no sixth movie. I thought the first one was okay, but god this needs to die now.

You can't pull off bloody, Bob. Also, I liked Cars.

quoted for truth.

Bob doesn't like this movie because all the characters remind him of people that picked on him in high school.

quoted for truth x2.

 

[yndsu]

You can't pull off bloody, Bob. Also, I liked Cars.

No-one can pull of bloody without having British accents (that means English, Scottish, Welsh or any of the Irish accents). It just does not work.

And yeah, Cars was not that bad. Though that Tokyo short with Mater was way cooler.

I know I'm a bit late to the game, but did Bob actually imply that there was something good about the movie Torque? Because I was able to suspend my disbelief for that movie about as easily as I could for wire-fu performed with neon orange anchor line.

Also, it had a LOT of CGI that looked out of place. So it is kinda weird for him to say that one OTT action movie is OK, and another one isnt. Heck, the main protagonist quotes Vin's characters line from The Fast And The Furious in the Torque. So that kinda makes many things he was complaining about pretty useless and make him look a bit of a hypocrite.

Also, oe of the producers of Tourqe has been the producer in ALL of the Fast & Furious movies.
So again..... Doesnt make much sense.

 

[Deathninja19]

This kind of ignorance is especially galling for a reviewer who is meant to be impartial and to judge a film by it's merits and not by the things you associate it with.

He did judge it on its merits, and found it lacking. Also, perhaps you're confused over the term 'critic', for a critic is not supposed to be impartial. A critic's primary job is to pass judgement on something, and subjectivity is necessary in order to do that.

I'm sorry to disagree but in an age of angry reviewing and such you forget that reviewers are meant to be impartial and judge a piece of work on it's own, they can use comparisons to past work etc but that should not affect the score of the product they are reviewing. They can bring predujices of course they are only human but they should not wear them on their sleve like Bob does it makes them seem unprofesional and biased.

Critic - a person who judges, evaluates, or analyzes literary or artistic works, dramatic or musical performances, or the like, especially for a newspaper or magazine.

Judge - to form a judgment or opinion of; decide upon critically.

Critics are not meant to be impartial. In order to critique something, one must make judgements as to the merits and faults of the thing being critiqued, and as such must form an opinion of the subject matter. This is not news, this is not journalism; this is one person's critique and should be treated as such.

Also I heavily disagree that he said anything that was wrong with this particular film, all I heard was him ragging on the franchise. Only once did he use an example from this film refering to a fight which he bashed because people may enjoy a Vin/Rock fight not judging it on how it was filmed or the choreography and so on. He may of mentioned others but it was so drowned out by him insulting the films audience (which includes me) that any possible well made point became moot.

"...draws the attention of the Rock leading what appears to be a crack FBI wetworks squad exclusively devoted to hunting down streetrace punks for some reason."

"...In the Fast and the Furious universe, being reasonably good at driving an import car suddenly turns you into an unstoppable adamantium-boned ninja capable of outrunning, outfighting and outshooting an entire army."

"There are two big crazy chase scenes at the beginning and end that are pretty good..."

"Just another mediocre, uninspired action sequel..."

Maybe we only see what we want to, but I saw many more points touched upon than your one "Rock vs. Diesel" fight scene.

Sorry but Bob gets paid for this so he is a proffesional critic and therefore should be judged as one.

"...draws the attention of the Rock leading what appears to be a crack FBI wetworks squad exclusively devoted to hunting down streetrace punks for some reason."

The reason the Rock was there because they thought Vin and Walker killed some DEA agents plus Vin had escaped prison. That is such a basic point that either Bob was too stupid to follow a simple plot thread or ignored that point to make a joke, either way not a valid point.

"...In the Fast and the Furious universe, being reasonably good at driving an import car suddenly turns you into an unstoppable adamantium-boned ninja capable of outrunning, outfighting and outshooting an entire army."

Fair point but it's called suspension of disbelief, Bob had it when he watched Scott Pilgrimm so why not now. You could say that Pilgrimm was less realistic and purposly stylistic but how far down that rabit hole can we go when we have to quantify how realistic one film is over another, I'd argue that this film is just as intentionaly unrealistic as Pilgrimm I just think that in Bob's mind it just comes down to one being geek culture and the other for so called 'douchebags'.

"Just another mediocre, uninspired action sequel..."

I don't think it was. It had a solid story that moved the plot of the series forward building on the original and adding new plot threads, but I can't argue that this is an invalid citique I just disagree with it.

I return to the old example of the Expendables vs Pirannha reviews Bob comes off as a massive hypocrite judging one film to have no merit because it is a dumb action film to judging another to be great because it is a dumb action film (or in Pirannhas case a dumb horror film with tits as he points out).

 

[RTR]

WHOOOOOOO I GOT TO SEE THOR EARLY!!!!!

 

[ironlordthemad]

Bob doesn't like this movie because all the characters remind him of people that picked on him in high school.

See also, his review of the expendables.
Even if it was a horrible movie (it wasn't THAT bad) Bob made no comment on anything substantial like editing, pacing, the directors choice of things to put in the movie, character acting etc. Instead he went on a big rant about how the movie was worse than Scott Pilgrim but was doing better and was therefor terrible because the big kids were taking the nerd's lunch money.
Its a problem he has.

 

[Harbinger_]

Fast Five

More Pinto than Porsche.

Watch Video

Not quite sure I get the Jason Statham thing at the end. Care to clarify?

 

[KenzS]

One of the worst reviews I've seen him do.

I can understand that he doesn't like the movie, but you're supposed to criticize the MOVIE, not the people who watch it.

I liked the movie, am I suppose to take offense to that?

 

[NKnight]

Brazilian viewer here. Only one comment: I'm kind of tired of seeing favelas being portraid in movies... seriously, even in brazilian cinema. Not the most proud aspect of the country, you see... it's like living in LA and having a thousand of movies about drug use in LA and... wait a minute... yeah...

 

[Nurb]

It's a real pity Vin Diesel's career didn't take of like it should have; you know, after Saving Private Ryan, The Iron Giant and Pitch Black...

I would love to see him in a Zack Snyder flick or something along those lines.

He has the acting ability of a lawn chair with a missing leg.

 

[Grahav]

Brazilian viewer here. Only one comment: I'm kind of tired of seeing favelas being portraid in movies... seriously, even in brazilian cinema. Not the most proud aspect of the country, you see... it's like living in LA and having a thousand of movies about drug use in LA and... wait a minute... yeah...

Well, at least "Rio" was good propaganda.

HAH your right, you learn something every day. To be honest I know that Rio does have a big crime problem but the idea that one man runs it all is kind of dumb, not to mention I saw that Chris Ryan documentary thingy with BOPE which was awesome. There was no need for the Americans to get invovled, BOPE would have wrecked poor Vins shit up. The movie mocks the goverments efforts and the expert soldiers more then anything simply by ignoring them.

Really? Then try to get your hands on "Tropa de Elite (Elite Squad)" and the sequel. Both are action movies (the second is more of a thriller/drama though) about BOPE that are quite visceral and approach the theme with some interesting degree of insight (like addressing the fact that violence generates more violence... most Brazilians didn't get that one though).

Oh, and as an added bonus the second one will teach you what is and show you the capital of Brazil. I'm a proud resident in it... but no, I'm not a politician, you Brazilians out there.

Well, the problem here is that people are so sick of seeing the criminals winning that any kind of victory or stand-up against them is celebrated. Even if it is brutally inhuman.

Brazilian from Rio saying. I don't live in a favela. Good night to the friends in Brazilia.

 

[Goldhawk777]

Question, when does this movie take place in the universe? I mean, Han's clearly in it and supposedly died in Tokyo Drift, so does that mean this took place before Tokyo Drift?

Other than that, Fast and the Furious has always been more about the cars they show than anything else. It's an opportunity for car nuts to go "OMG a Nissan Skyline r34!" The movies have and always will be subpar, but I am impressive with the cars they manage get and destroy for these movies.

****Spoiler**** Okay, if you have watched the entire series. The order is as such, 1,2,4,5, 3. Why? Because you see Diesel at the end of 3 and that occurs after Han bites the bullet. Thus, Han cannot die until after the 5th movie. But I agree, the Franchise is to promote some of the hottest cars to come out and watch them out drive/destroy all the crappy cars from 10 years before. Sorry, but I disagree with Bob, this movie was not meant to be a nominated for an award. Hell, it's just car junkie food. Not douchebags, just car fanatics.

 

[honeybakedham]

Why do you have such a low expectation for Cars 2? Cars 1 wasn't bad, it was just the least-good Pixar film, if that makes sense.

That's like saying Intolerable Cruelty isn't as good as the Coen Brothers other movies... Might be true, but it is still a Coen Brothers movie and thus better than almost every other movie

 

[Saarai-fan]

Never was much into the Fast and the Furious film series anyways. My cousin is, but I just don't see what's so good about these films to some people. Like Bob said, it's probably because Vin Dissel's character in the films comes across as the quintessential model for wannabe white gangsta boys.

Anyways, my thought though is this...

"Be here next week on MovieBob's, Escape to the Movies, to see if he has a review for Thor!"

PLEASE DON'T SUCK! PLEASE DON'T SUCK! PLEASE DON'T SUCK!

Really hoping the film will be good. Keeping myself from looking at Wikipedia or any other websites that might spoil the film for me.