Escape to the Movies: Fast Five

[Quesa]

Fast & Furious
Budget $85 million
Gross revenue $359,264,265

"OH MY GOD, THEY MADE ANOTHER ONE?!"

"Uh.. yeah?"

 

[Nautical Honors Society]

Hey Bob did you know that real critics can talk about their problems with a movie without insulting huge groups of their intended audiences?

Seriously, your attempts at "edginess" are just plain insulting. You can say a movie is bad without saying people who like the movie are "douchebags". Shocker I know.

And by saying "Bring it on" after the credits simply shows you know what you did was wrong and that you are actually a bit afraid of this communities feedback.

OT: I have seen all the Fast and Furious films. I am not a car guy or even that big of an action movie guy, it is just a guilty pleasure, so I will probably see this one. And hey it got certified fresh on rottentomaotes so why not?

 

[Penguin_Factory]

Did anyone else think the "Caaaars" bit was really creepy?

 

[Casimir_Effect]

Something has made you a bitter and twisted ************ hasn't it? You really seem to have a problem with movies that are slightly geared towards the people who I'm guessing beat the shit out of of you in school. And now the resentment is creating a massive bias in your reviews.
God forbid someone goes and sees a fun B-movie just to enjoy themselves. Fuck that! We should all go watch depressing dramas and shitty comic book films all day then go home and jerk off to some Aronofsky.

 

[Ericb]

Hey Bob, I'm a brazillian viewer and I have to say that I just loved this review. Yeah it's the same damn thing that every movie of the series has shown us and, to be honest, I'm not THAT surprised that Brazil is seen like this. For some time, the drug dealers and other, well "gangsters", were really putting terror... IN RIO DE JANEIRO. And guess what? This is being fought everyday by the police and the population in general, fighint off those bastards.

Not the police, not most of the time.

If anyone is reading this, why don't you guys give some research to "Invasão do Morro do Alemão" in Google? Or simply put, the invasion of the "morro do alemão", wich was one of the biggest favelas of the country and a massive drug dealers territory, that the police, WITH the population, put down those guys.

I live right next to it. And I'll tell you, they could have done that over twenty years ago with much less fanfare and violence, without the population having to go through through so much crap in between.

Bob, Iv'e always watched your show but never really made a comment. And I wonder if you watched two brazilian movies that are EXCELLENT action films, talks about fighting off drug dealers and among other things, like coprruption. The first and the Second "Tropa de Elite" movies. The first one is more of an "action" movie, and the second is more about the politics and the way the system works.

I do hope that they take on politician criticism more directly in the third one.

That actually makes me think of a question: Bob, why don't you review more foreign movies in general?

The violence was way bigger only in Rio de Janeiro and guess what? It is getting smaller and saffer.

What about Bahia and São Paulo, with its high rates of police brutality and kidnappings respectively, that go mostly unreported?

No, our country still has a long way to go before we can consider any of our states' safer in any way.

Though I do remember the murder rates here in Rio go slightly smaller than last year, it's oh so far from anything mildly acceptable, if one can think of murder rates with any kind of acceptability.

Anyway, this is a subject for a saparete topic, but I couldn't help to answer it. Sorry people, back on topic.

 

[Resonantscythe]

snip

agree alot with this. however, i think its important to review whats fresh, however uninteresting it might be for him personally. but instead of leaving us with a review about a film he thinks is not worth our time, he could maybe spare 1 minute to give us a recommendation about a older film which we should not miss. Some kind of curiousity which is not too obscure but might have slipped our mainstream eyes.

Edit: really think that Yahtzee should do the same.

Funny thing is, I've now seen enough of Yatzee's straight-up bash vids to be able to find games I'd still enjoy, even if they did nothing awesome. And even then, yatzee bashes the games, not the audience.

 

[Nautical Honors Society]

I thought people hated Speed Racer

Speed Racer was a work of unqualified brilliance which failed in theaters because it operates completely outside the understated, gritty realism aesthetic which dominates modern cinema. It's not ashamed of how over the top and cartoonish it is, and if you're not afraid of viking race car driver assassins and bright colors you owe it to yourself to check it out.

It is actually a really bad movie that failed with its sub par acting, bad script, and misguided special effects team. They thought shooting the whole film in focus would be a good idea. It is not. It is never a good idea.

 

[Rad Party God]

I always hated these movies and even more with some of my friends that are car nuts.

No surprise that it's as crappy as it has ever been, but at least this was a good material for Bob to talk about.

 

[Srdjan Tanaskovic]

I thought people hated Speed Racer

Speed Racer was a work of unqualified brilliance which failed in theaters because it operates completely outside the understated, gritty realism aesthetic which dominates modern cinema. It's not ashamed of how over the top and cartoonish it is, and if you're not afraid of viking race car driver assassins and bright colors you owe it to yourself to check it out.

you know you are kind of foiling yourself when you think a movie failed because of that

ok so it's bright, colourful, overthetop, cartoonish and all that

but does that save the movie from bad action, bad writing, bad music, bad directing and all that?

Spoiler

It does not

 

[Shjade]

It's a real pity Vin Diesel's career didn't take of like it should have; you know, after Saving Private Ryan

Y'know, I always forget Vin Diesel was even in that movie until I see it again. Then it's like, "Wait, don't I know that guy? The big honest kinda dumb one? ... Oh hey, it's Vin Diesel! Hunh."

I then immediately forget he was in it again within two scenes of his character's sniper rendezvous.

 

[slowzombie]

funny how most movies now are just as good or even better is all the people are muted

 

[Srdjan Tanaskovic]

Something has made you a bitter and twisted ************ hasn't it? You really seem to have a problem with movies that are slightly geared towards the people who I'm guessing beat the shit out of of you in school. And now the resentment is creating a massive bias in your reviews.
God forbid someone goes and sees a fun B-movie just to enjoy themselves. Fuck that! We should all go watch depressing dramas and shitty comic book films all day then go home and jerk off to some Aronofsky.

Piranha 3D

a fun B-movie


which he enjoyed

and then there is Buried

I'm sure there are some else but I'm not really sure what makes a movie a B-movie

 

[JenSeven]

Finally, someone has the same opinion of this movie franchise as me.
Fast & Furious and all it's spin-offs and copies basically suck.

They are movies for car enthusiasts...

Although I would say, if they like cars that much, why are they watching something as bad and bland as Fast & Furious movies instead of the British Top Gear?

 

[Unhappy Crow]

I just got back from watching the movie. To be honest, the last chase secene was the best part of this movie. I thought it was insane.

 

[Crazy_Dude]

Pitch Black a pretty good movie I liked it and even the sequel wasnt that bad as some might say.

If I remember correctly David Twohy was going to direct another Riddick movie with Vin Diesel but nothing is really certain yet.