Escape to the Movies: Fast Five

[Dr. Pepper Unlimited]

I really wish this series would die already. -_-

Those creepy faces and their incessant talk of cars and family will haunt my dreams forever now. 0_o

 

[Resonantscythe]

Okay, not surprised one bit by this review, laughed at the "family, loyalty, honor, cars etc." thing, but the rest wasn't very surprising.

What I really want to comment on is this: movie bob has made it obvious that he watches one than one new film a week by the time he puts these vids together, right? Why, for the past month or so, has he only made videos about the ones he hated, (or in the case of the April fools joke, just completely wasted our time), while there were other movies out there that even if not good or great, he could have at least gone "eh, not bad" at? All the bashing is getting kind of annoying, and this review was totally pointless as pretty much no one who watches his reviews would take this movie seriously anyway. I mean, if I do watch it, it'll just be for something to laugh at personally.

movie bob was pretty much the only critic I thought knew who he was talking about, as opposed to being an over opinionated hack like Roger Ebert and all the newspaper critics. But now, all I see is him bashing "douchebags" a title which he sweepingly assigns to anyone who enjoys these types of movies for any reason. What about the car nuts who just want to see the sexy cars being driven around? What about the guys who are like "y'know what, I actually want a dumb, pointless movie this week because I'm a little mentally fatigued and want to turn my brain off for a bit." What about younger audiences who simply don't know any better. I understand the desire to just say "everyone who watches this movie is a raving idiot", but it's simply unfair and untrue. And it helps nothing to beat his viewers over the head with these over-aggressive assertions.

I look forward to(or a least used to)escape to the movies because when I first started watching these vids I thought I had finally found a critic who examined a movie and gave real reasons why it was good or bad based on the films own merits, not because of a hatred for the expected audience.

Hell, if he has one week where he just absolutely hates everything, why not do a review of some movie that came out before he started these videos and try to introduce us to some quality older movies? the type of thing he did today was just wasteful.

Please, Bob, bring back the escape to the movies That was just good movie reviews.

 

[vxicepickxv]

I kind of stopped listening when he decided to insult everyone who thought they might enjoy some of the movie instead of explaining why the movie doesn't work. MovieBob, your job is to review movies and not be a jerk to their fan-base.

That's really why I can't take you seriously, you dwell on the fan-base and call them morons just because you like a certain thing. This makes the rest of your review null and void (at least to me) because it just seems like you're being unprofessional and have a grudge against a certain group of people.

I'm going to take a phrase from Commodore Hustle, and show you that it doesn't even have to be literal. Dicks get clicks. It seems that being a dick counts as a bag of dicks, so being a dick gets clicks.

The difference between Vin Diesel and Jason Statham is that Jason makes good action movies.

And yes, I am a Vin Diesel hater. I will freely admit that. Get the "haters goin' hate" out of your systems. Thanks.

Even if movie bob gave this movie a good review, I would still not see it. Yes, hater's goin hate. Thank you that is all.

I was going to say that Guy Ritchie was the difference, but what do I know?

Vin Diesel is a muscle bound hunk who plays Dungeons and Dragons.

He's basically my ideal husband

He's not as tall as you think he is. Most people say that about him.

 

[MEvans05]

Okay, not surprised one bit by this review, laughed at the "family, loyalty, honor, cars etc." thing, but the rest wasn't very surprising.

What I really want to comment on is this: movie bob has made it obvious that he watches one than one new film a week by the time he puts these vids together, right? Why, for the past month or so, has he only made videos about the ones he hated, (or in the case of the April fools joke, just completely wasted our time), while there were other movies out there that even if not good or great, he could have at least gone "eh, not bad" at? All the bashing is getting kind of annoying, and this review was totally pointless as pretty much no one who watches his reviews would take this movie seriously anyway. I mean, if I do watch it, it'll just be for something to laugh at personally.

movie bob was pretty much the only critic I thought knew who he was talking about, as opposed to being an over opinionated hack like Roger Ebert and all the newspaper critics. But now, all I see is him bashing "douchebags" a title which he sweepingly assigns to anyone who enjoys these types of movies for any reason. What about the car nuts who just want to see the sexy cars being driven around? What about the guys who are like "y'know what, I actually want a dumb, pointless movie this week because I'm a little mentally fatigued and want to turn my brain off for a bit." What about younger audiences who simply don't know any better. I understand the desire to just say "everyone who watches this movie is a raving idiot", but it's simply unfair and untrue. And it helps nothing to beat his viewers over the head with these over-aggressive assertions.

I look forward to(or a least used to)escape to the movies because when I first started watching these vids I thought I had finally found a critic who examined a movie and gave real reasons why it was good or bad based on the films own merits, not because of a hatred for the expected audience.

Hell, if he has one week where he just absolutely hates everything, why not do a review of some movie that came out before he started these videos and try to introduce us to some quality older movies? the type of thing he did today was just wasteful.

Please, Bob, bring back the escape to the movies That was just good movie reviews.

I don't normally post, but 100% agree with this.

 

[Jandau]

"It's like Avengers! For douchebags!"

This one had me rolling on the floor with laughter. All in all, a good bashfest of a review. And it's really two hours long? DAMN! Even crap is increasing in size these days...

 

[brinvixen]

I hope that Cars 2 doesn't suck, but the chances of that aren't looking too good. It's bad enough that the first Cars wasn't so hot compared to other Pixar movies, and now they're making a sequel for it (would have rather had an Incredibles sequel actually). And the trailer for [Cars 2] looks awful. They'll probably never top Toy Story 3, but Pixar does have a reputation to uphold. I still demand quality stuff from them. So we'll see.

 

[Orange Monkey]

Vin Diesel is a muscle bound hunk who plays Dungeons and Dragons.

He's basically my ideal husband

He's not as tall as you think he is. Most people say that about him.[/quote]

Never said he had to be tall, short people rock just as much

 

[daxterx2005]

Cars 2 is going to rock....Pixar can't make bad movies, its impossible.

I think its fitting that my 500th post is on a review for fast 5

 

[Toeys]

snip

agree alot with this. however, i think its important to review whats fresh, however uninteresting it might be for him personally. but instead of leaving us with a review about a film he thinks is not worth our time, he could maybe spare 1 minute to give us a recommendation about a older film which we should not miss. Some kind of curiousity which is not too obscure but might have slipped our mainstream eyes.

Edit: really think that Yahtzee should do the same.

 

[Dyp100]

Aparently Disel is actually a massive DnD nerd.

Also all those Chuck Norris puns was originaly made about him, someone just changed the name around and it got popular.

 

[MetallicaRulez0]

I quite liked the first movie when it came out... and I was 13. It had a certain cool factor that other action movies were missing, well, except for The Matrix obviously. The series did go downhill pretty fast, though.

I agree about Vin Diesel too, he really got some raw deals in his career. I actually kinda like the guy too.

 

[similar.squirrel]

Is he really being forced to sit through Transformers 3?

 

[RJ Dalton]

The fuck? There's five of these movies?

I also find it extremely sad that there are not one, but two car movies you can immediately bring to mind that you expect to be worse than this.

 

[Chebs]

I had been hoping for a Dylan Dog review. I've been slapped in the face with their ads every which way I turn, so would've been nice to know if it was worth a matinee or something.

 

[Dr Snakeman]

Oh, Bob, you used to be so cool. I treated your word as law; I still agree with your assessment of movies. The problem is that you have branched out from giving your opinions on film and geek culture to just being a dick to people. You have become... whiny. Yes, whiny.

"Whaaah, Michael Vick shouldn't play football anymore!"

"Whaaah, everyone who likes watching stupid movies on occasion is a total douchebag, or an eleven-year-old!"

It's really getting old. I don't watch your videos to hear someone act like an asshole because he has personal issues with certain people. I watch them for humorous insights into pop culture.

You're losing me, Bob. At the risk of being put on probation, I will provide you with this bit of advice:


With love,
Dr Snakeman, Concerned Fan

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

I can't be the only one who feels it's a bit rich to call people who want to see the Rock and Vin Diesel fight eleven year olds, when Movie Bob pretty much jizzed over the idea of there being a live action Avengers movie?

Oh yes, and you can't use the word 'bloody' as a swear word again. That's for British people only. You get to have 'ass' instead.

 

[Outright Villainy]

But now, all I see is him bashing "douchebags" a title which he sweepingly assigns to anyone who enjoys these types of movies for any reason.

Exactly this. And it's not even like he says he's above schlocky fun films, he gave Pirahna 3D a good review even. He just loves making sweeping generalisations against anything stereotypically associated with jocks, justified or not. It's getting tiring, and it's dragging the whole show down.

It's not like mercilessly making fun of it isn't entertaining. The whole "Cars cars cars, loyalty family" bit was actually pretty funny, when he goes and says anyone who enjoys the film is a doucebag or an 11 year old, well, that's just fucking stupid.

 

[Purplecoyote]

Since the first one, me and my sister went to see every single one of them, not because they're good movies but because we always have so much fun with them.

 

[Nerf Ninja]

So you've given up reviewing films altogether now and have decided just to ***** at people who might like things you don't?