Escape to the Movies: New Moon

[Mr. Shoggoth]

Why doesn't the video work? I mean, I can get everything else to work on the Escapist, but not this.

 

[ElephantGuts]

I must say I loved this episode. Was quite comical and confirmed my justification for my continued hatred of Twilight.

I don't comment in these threads much but I'm also a big fan of the series and find these reviews quite useful and entertaining, so...yeah...

 

[MmmFiber]

First, let me say that I thoroughly enjoyed the review. The 'synopsis' of the plot that you gave was hilarious. I also totally agree with disliking the fact that the vampires do not act like vampires.

Second, I swear to god, I might not watch the show any more if it keeps bleeping, probably. The bleeps are way too loud in comparison to the volume of your voice. Maybe a bleeped and a non-bleeped version.

Third, I almost want to like this franchise because everyone hates it. Almost. And I almost want to go see it just to see how bad it is and to torment my woman(who loathes the twilight series as shameless pandering). But I won't, as far as I know, go see it, because my money would go to support this kind of movie. I don't think it's bad to go after a certain demographic like twilight is doing. Hey, just look at all of the crude jokes and scantily clad women some previews use to lure in young males. I do, however, dislike this type of movie. My reasons? I am neither a homosexual, nor a twelve year old girl.

 

[Nurb]

nothing about the trend of making vampires effeminate, whiney, emo-kids with not-so-subtle homoerotic undertones?

I might not complain so much if there was a guy-friendly opposite, but the only sexy female vamps out there just use their bodies to lure men to horrible deaths.

Now if the metrosexual boyband vampire used his girlish physique to exploit the lead actress's emo-ness to her demise, then I might watch

 

[Ranooth]

Im doing my best to stop my girlfriend from seeing this but im running out of options. It ethical to chain your girlfriend up outside of the bedroom?

Why would you want a girlfriend that likes Twilight so much?

I found out afterwards, luckily she isn't going to see it anytime soon due

 

[Sethzard]

Bob, I'm really sorry, if you had to review anything, it shouldn't have been this, you poor guy.

 

[Jaebird]

The loud bleeps made listening a but irritating, but funny review, as always

 

[Space Spoons]

Another solid review, Bob. Pretty much put everything I was thinking and more into words.

Side note, the bleeping's got to stop. This is The Escapist, for goodness sake. We're supposed to be intellectuals against that kind of pandering censorship. And what's more, the bleeps themselves are incredibly loud and annoying. If you must censor yourself, at least do it in a way that isn't so distracting.

 

[Reneux]

I like to read some of the same books my teen daughter reads, as it gives us something fun and safe to talk about. I did not read the twilight books but "The Host" by the same author, My god, such tough slog that was! anger steeped in self pity, wrapped with sexual overtones like bacon wrapped sausage balls, and whole steaming chunks where the author (or editor?) makes half hearted attempts and stiching the thing together with half baked logic, but it fails so she (they?) add another layer of self loathing and sex to distract the reader from the illogic of it all. So I'm right there with you as far as needing to find something nice to say about it for conversation with my daughter. I recall noting some similarities to some books i read at her age,stylistically it reminded me of the self serving sci fantasy books called the white gold wielder, by stephen donaldson that were about as bad.
Nice write up tho,

Fondly,

 

[J-Alfred]

Oh, how I needed a good dose of Twilight-bashing. Everyone on my floor (including my own ROOMMATE!!!) have been singing this film's praises since they came home at 3 AM. Thank you, Bob, for doing what they should have been doing the whole time.

by the way, what's with the bleeps?

 

[Trivun]

New Moon sucks. Im suprised so many older teens and college girls go for this stuff.

I do and I'm a nineteen year old guy. I was planning to see it tonight except a friend (also a guy) who saw it last night said that although it was decent, the amount of screaming fangirls made it less enjoyable, so I may wait until an adult screening is done at the local cinema (i.e. 18 and over only). Have you actually seen it, or made an attempt to see it? If so then your opinion is fair and noted. If you haven't made an attempt to see it then what right do you have to criticise it?

And yes, I do like things like Dracula as well. I simply don't agree that Twilight 'ruined' vampires. Although for all the things I like about the series, I still don't like the 'sparkly' vampires idea.

Because as steven king put it. stephanie mayers books target a teen girl audience that is not yet ready to deal with their emotions without being too overly sexual. meaning it targets pre pubescent girls. her writing is awful and the movies are even worse. This movie does more damage than that book "the loveliness of woman." even though its not real i assure you it would do far less damage than this PoS.

You make a fair point. However, that is simply Stephen King's opinion. I appreciate that it's an opinion shared by a lot of people, but at the end of the day, it's still an opinion. It's fact that she writes badly, but if I enjoy it then that's up to me. Anyway, even Stephen King probably read the book before making that statement. It's like people complain about Jack Thompson making comments about games he hasn't played, then proceed to bash a book they've never read, just because everyone else is. Not having a go at you or anything, but I still maintain that if you make a comment on something then you should at least have tried to gain some sort of experience regarding whatever you're commenting on.

Oh, and as for the pre-pubescent girls being the target audience, I actually hate all the screaming fangirls. That's a major reason why people hate Twilight without even looking at it, and they basically give a really bad name to the actual fans (i.e. the moderates like myself who can accept another person's dislike of the series). The fangirls make me want to rip my ears off. Which is why I'm leaving in forty minutes to watch this film, late at night (UK here), in a special adults only screening at my local cinema. It's either that or wait until Sunday and get deafened by the screams of 14 year old girls who want Edward Cullen to marry them and suck on their open wounds. Seriously, those people are psychos and need to be locked up... :s

 

[UsefulPlayer 1]

Those beeps were kinda annoying, but I thank you for that second picture of Ashley Greene. Opened my eyes a fair bit. Just didn't know there was another hot girl in the film besides Bella, or whatever her real name is.

But I'm a Harry Potter kinda guy so Emma Watson ftw. I'll get around to seeing the movies sometime.

 

[DrScoobs]

I have gotten back from watching this with friends. what a waste of time...

 

[chickenlord]

she was very good in adventure land, your probably right about this hangin over her head for ever. But maybe(unfortunately) you could be wrong cause well, you did say its extremely (somehow)popular so she'll probably be praised for what shes doing by all the twilight fan girls(all though they just like it cause of main vampire guy). I truely and honestly respect you movie bob for going through all that pain reading and watching these horrible movies/books...you are a stronger man then i don't hope to be!

 

[Terramax]

snip

Whoa, looks like a hit a nerve there. Enjoy giving your money for cliched, girlie pap.

 

[randommaster]

The bleeping is terribly annoying.

indeed

anyway i was forced against my will to see this crap at midnight...i just started laughing my ass off though it because it was so bad

Stockholm Syndrome at the theaters? That's a first.

 

[Poomanchu745]

This review is full of win because the twilight series is full of lose. I want my vampires having to decide between eating a baby or eating the girl, not decide between which girl they want to sleep with...

 

[Sulu]

If you bleep out the swear words then stop swearing. It doesn't make the video seem cool and hip to have bleeped words!

 

[atomicmrpelly]

Wooo!

I agreed to go see the first film with my girlfriend (thinking a film this popular based on a book that popular had to have some good points)... She now complains that I ruined it for her by pointing out all the stupid bullshit. I'm sorry but how is it my fault that your film sucks?!?!

I'm glad this one sucks too, if they keep getting worse then eventually the public will realise their misgivings, now I better stop here because I promised Jimmy Hendrix we'd go pony trecking under the sea.