Escape to the Movies: New Moon

[LTK_70]

(Where is the delete button on this forum?)

 

[MasterKirov]

Thank you Comrade MovieBob, for destroying this film!

(Not that it was hard not to).

My main points? The bleeping. Things are usually funnier when they don't swear, but the bleeping either works or doesn't. Let's just say this style of bleep doesn't suit you.

PS: The author of Twilight looks like she got hit in the face with the same shovel used to beat Adam Sandler up in Little Nicky, followed by the ugly stick. Not to mention the creepy stare.

 

[SomeUnregPunk]

I would rather watch a 12 hour porno directed by Uwe Boll and starring a platypus and a wheelchair than go anywhere near this piece of shit franchise.

]

I would rather watch that over any movie currently being offered now.

 

[Elesar]

A) I ADORED this review.
B) Did I hallucinate the Road review? Because I liked that too.

 

[DigitalSushi]

Thank God moviebob gave this a bad review... a really bad review. I may have don't something terrible to myself if he'd given it a good review. Nice going Bob.

Why? have you seen it?

The problem is whilst these games are cliched to anyone above 14 years-old, it isn't to the core audience under it hence they think it's the most starkingly original, personal experience ever. It's depressing to know that this stuff will continue to be sold for generations to come whilst stuff by real geniuses like that of Studio Ghibli will largely be ignored.

*sigh*

Firstly its a movie not a game, but arguing that point makes my comment look flimsy in your eyes, but I felt I should nitpick!

But why is it a problem that its shit?, I've not seen it yet, but I'll have too what with having a sister whose 30 and wants to see it.

I do want to write more about why it matters but I can't be arsed right now because my lasagna is ready, see the irony in me not bothering to reply to your comment because I'd rather eat my dinner and your not going to watch the film anyway so it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

 

[Caliostro]

Twilight sucks, totally shocked. That said, this was one of those reviews you watch not because you don't know what the outcome will be (SPOILER: All of twilight sucks as it's written by a talentless hack. That is all.), but because it's amusing to see someone who knows what the fuck they're talking about tear the bloody thing a new one. Gg Bob.

I would rather watch a 12 hour porno directed by Uwe Boll and starring a platypus and a wheelchair than go anywhere near this piece of shit franchise.

Best. First Post. Ever.

Have some win good sir.

 

[Vierran]

Pretty much sums up why i won't be seeing this, good review. On a side note, those bleeps are very loud and very annoying.

 

[SupaMechaDeathChrist]

seriously, why do teens like this piece of crap my girlfriend made me watch it with her and i swear they could replaced this 2 hr 10 min movie with 15 minutes of emos talking about how depressed they are and then all of a sudden some peppy chicks come in and start talking about useless crap.

agreed solely with you movie bob, twilight sucked and nothing else good can come from sequels. stay away from it plz, don't feed the twilight series, save your twenty bucks and buy a video game or atleast see a better movie.

 

[Cyrax023]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZq8EC3FMyg

(yes. i am plugging my own work. does that suprise anyone?)

 

[pirateninj4]

Fuck dude, you are on the ball! GG on getting that out, you restore my faith in real culture criticism. Well done.

 

[Megacherv]

New Moon

MovieBob tries to find one nice thing to say about New Moon, but it's a stretch.

Watch Video

I hope you read this message MovieBob, because you helped me enforce the fact that all media these days is about the image, not the art. Showed this to a Twi-tard, and she just said "Jacob's fit though". *sigh* First music is almost dead, games are slowly dying in my eyes, now I actually realise that movies are aswell.

 

[SupaMechaDeathChrist]

I would rather watch a 12 hour porno directed by Uwe Boll and starring a platypus and a wheelchair than go anywhere near this piece of shit franchise.

I would kinda be interested in seeing that...

...er, but on topic, sorta. Here's something that confuses me: Why is New Moon bad but 2012 is good? It sounds like all the details of the review were the same. They're both stupid movies with cliched plots, but, apparently, good imagery. Why, oh why would 2012 get a good review??

he said that 2012 was a good movie because he said that it was like everything he wanted in an end of time destruction chaos film, i loved 2012

 

[deadbeat503]

FANBOY!!

 

[Chrissyluky]

New Moon sucks. Im suprised so many older teens and college girls go for this stuff.

I do and I'm a nineteen year old guy. I was planning to see it tonight except a friend (also a guy) who saw it last night said that although it was decent, the amount of screaming fangirls made it less enjoyable, so I may wait until an adult screening is done at the local cinema (i.e. 18 and over only). Have you actually seen it, or made an attempt to see it? If so then your opinion is fair and noted. If you haven't made an attempt to see it then what right do you have to criticise it?

And yes, I do like things like Dracula as well. I simply don't agree that Twilight 'ruined' vampires. Although for all the things I like about the series, I still don't like the 'sparkly' vampires idea.

Because as steven king put it. stephanie mayers books target a teen girl audience that is not yet ready to deal with their emotions without being too overly sexual. meaning it targets pre pubescent girls. her writing is awful and the movies are even worse. This movie does more damage than that book "the loveliness of woman." even though its not real i assure you it would do far less damage than this PoS.

 

[josh797]

If you haven't made an attempt to see it then what right do you have to criticise it?

If I read the books do I have the right to criticise it? By it I mean the series, not just the movie.

And yes, I do like things like Dracula as well. I simply don't agree that Twilight 'ruined' vampires.

I think most people that honestly read the book and don't like it wont argue that it ruined vampires, but rather that it is just very poorly written(and that the first book was the most generic combining of two things I've ever read).

OP: What can I say, I agree with the comments about the books and I will naturally be avoiding the movie. However, your mention of "The big bads" lead me to go look at the Tv Tropes entry again. I'm not angry at you but, damn it bob, I was there for an hour longer than I intended to be...why does this happen every time I go to that site!?

Spoiler: i believe this xkcd comic embodies your feelings

 

[whycantibelinus]

New Moon sucks. Im suprised so many older teens and college girls go for this stuff.

It's because Edward gets their vaginas all wet and aroused.

 

[Abedeus]

Im doing my best to stop my girlfriend from seeing this but im running out of options. It ethical to chain your girlfriend up outside of the bedroom?

Why would you want a girlfriend that likes Twilight so much?

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Because as steven king put it. stephanie mayers books target a teen girl audience that is not yet ready to deal with their emotions without being too overly sexual. meaning it targets pre pubescent girls. her writing is awful and the movies are even worse.

It also portrays men as young girls see them - mysterious, dangerous and deeply thoughtful.

Which actually is the way that most guys ACT in order to make women like them. That's right: Edward's routine is a routine. When you catch the nervous, over-emotional guy then that's a real male. The other guys are just rakes looking for their next bedpost notch.

What I'd really love to see in the re-writing of book one from Edward's PoV is when he reveals that he IS just a creepy emo stalker and is just after a quick shag - because - that's exactly how he acts.