Escape to the Movies: New Moon

[Doug]

Have you actually seen it, or made an attempt to see it? If so then your opinion is fair and noted. If you haven't made an attempt to see it then what right do you have to criticise it?

This is what piracy is for. Watching stuff you know is going to be terrible without having the guilt of giving money to talentless hacks.

I guess you also make a decent point. However, I don't like piracy so I would never consider that seriously as an option.

Which is why I haven't seen it Especially as the vile snake Peter Mandeleson is trying to make pirates subject to his own personal whims (I live in the UK).

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Go on Bob, do Blood Moon next week, I double-dog dare ya

Beaten. You are now a God of reviewers Bob I hear even the Vatican thinks it's trash.
Who ever would've thought we'd all be agreeing with the Pope?

By the way, you said you didn't remember when the young girl genre fiction had something as big?

How about Dirty Dancing? Or even Grease?

 

[Nemu]

MovieBob, I e-love you.

I have VERY successfully avoided everything about this franchise, in fact, this review is the MOST I've seen when it comes to the BS that is the Twilight Series.

Every time I see some teenage girl (or, worse yet, "adult" woman) get all misty over it, it makes me loathe humanity a little more.

I miss when vampires were dark, scary beings, not "that-dude-who-played-Cedric-in-that-one-Harry-Potter-flick". Gawd, he is fsking painful to look at.

//EDIT//

i've seen the first one, with Riff Trax, 3/4 pack of Marlboro 27s and half a bottle of Jameson to keep my brain from committing suicide. for the last twenty minutes i was rocking back and forth in my chair, unable to bring myself to look at the screen longer than a horrified glance just to make sure i wasn't hallucinating how fucking horrible this movie was. Twilight is two hours of physical pain compressed to visual form. it's terrible, morally reprehensible, fawful, overflowing with squick, and should not be handled without hazardous material precautions and a priest, rabbi, and Buddhist monk handy for exorcisms. the motherfuckers who made "Manos": The Hands of Fate watchable could do nothing to blunt the horror that was Twilight.

but god help me if i don't plan on punishing myself all over again once i can torrent this newest piece of shit and pay four bucks for the privelege of Mike Nelson & co guide me through it's squalid bowels. at least it looks like they hired a fight coordinator for this one.

Riff Trax has an "ep" of this? I am sad to have missed it. I MIGHT have to try and sit through the stupid movie just to experience them ripping on it. Gawd, I miss MST3K...

 

[GonzoGamer]

It's got to be better than the book.
The book was so boring and repetitive.

 

[LostintheWick]

I haven't read or seen anything twilight but I've heard a lot from both sides.
Being from the outside, it looks to me like the movie idolizes the tendencies of immature (not yet mature) girls to go for the jackass dude and generally act, for lack of better words, pathetic.

What is so glamorous about making bad decisions?

To anyone who knows more about this series, is this observation off?

 

[hittite]

I had a Twilight fangirl try to tell me once that Edward couldn't be killed because his skin was "marble hard"

I explained what would happen to a marble statue if it was hit by a projectile traveling at .5C (50% the speed of light, for those of a less scientific bent). Short answer, there wouldn't be a whole lot left.

Science Fiction FTW.

 

[Trivun]

Have you actually seen it, or made an attempt to see it? If so then your opinion is fair and noted. If you haven't made an attempt to see it then what right do you have to criticise it?

This is what piracy is for. Watching stuff you know is going to be terrible without having the guilt of giving money to talentless hacks.

I guess you also make a decent point. However, I don't like piracy so I would never consider that seriously as an option.

Which is why I haven't seen it Especially as the vile snake Peter Mandeleson is trying to make pirates subject to his own personal whims (I live in the UK).

Heh, so do I. However, strangely enough, even though I vote Conservative, I actually like Peter Mandelson. If only because he seems to like my university to a certain extent, since he claimed that Leeds University has a great policy on admitting lower class students, he praised our tuition fee policy, and he's appeared at the university several times for political debates and generally appeared sympathetic to our students and student-run political campaigns...

EDIT: Dammit, I'm getting so off topic there...

 

[BlueInkAlchemist]

Something MovieBob and I can agree on - the Twilight series sucks and the motifs set independent women back 100 years!

 

[skyfire_freckles]

There is absolutely no way I am going to sit in a theater or even on my couch for two hours watching a movie that sucks just to earn the privilage of saying it sucks. Life is too short for that shit.

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

I read Moviebob's entries of reading the series and dear lord did he take one for the team. This man should never have to read another crappy vampire series for the rest of his life. It's hilarious how the only men who work with vampire fiction these days are in Japan with stuff like Vampire Hunter D, Hellsing, Trinity Blood, Blood+, Castlevania, etc. God do I ever miss The Lost Boys.

 

[General_Qwetch]

my mouth dropped when he said its over 2 hours, seems like another movie full of copy pasted dialogue *sigh* good to know that when I'm forced to watch it i know to expect something boring like underworld 3 or the watchmen !
And what was up with the censorship? =/

 

[hamster mk 4]

I would like to add my voice to the chorus of people who are annoyed by the bleeping. I understand that Movie Bob gets passionate about his reviewing material and swearing is a side effect of that, but does it have to be the same sound every time?

If I may suggest:

Let Movie Bob Swear.
Replace the beeps with sound effects appropriate to the movie.
Have Movie Bob say something not bleepable like freaking.
Lower the pitch of the beep so it isn't so ear splitting.

Over all I liked the review, especially how Movie Bob tries so desperately to find something redeeming in it, but ultimate fails.

 

[The Great JT]

Thank god someone realizes this Twilight shit is just that, a never-ending turd that bends around and enters your mouth, creating a perpetual cylce of eating your own crap. (Hey lookit me, I can rip off the Angry Video Game Nerd!) And I thank you, MovieBob, for taking this gar-***** and giving it a Holy-Water-and-Liquid-Silver flea dip and holding the actors' heads under the water 'til the bubbles stop coming up.

 

[Vilhelm123]

Was good to hear Bob rant again, haven't had something he truly dislikes in a while!
Surprisingly balanced review considering just how much you obviously do not like the film Bob well done on that.

 

[Captain Pancake]

Hey, she may suck as an author, but I gotta say, she's mighty fine looking in them there photos you got...

 

[TwistedEllipses]

I'm so glad you haven't changed your opinion from when you watched Twilight. I'm hoping some kind of act of god will stop the next 2 in series...

 

[-Drifter-]

Sounds to me just like people hating on Harry Potter because J.K Rowling is a "crappy author".

Well you can thank Twilight for making everyone realize that, in fact, J.K Rowling is a fine author.

 

[SpiritMacardi]

I was laughing my ass off throughout this review XD

Seriously, the only good thing about these movies existing is being able to hear you make fun of them.

 

[Herr Wozzeck]

I dunno, it's not the whole 'bad vampirism' thing that I hate more about Twilight, than it is the fact that it makes abuse of your loved ones okay. Oh, and let's not forget that not only are they bland characters, but they're also a crowd of Mary Sues! Seriously.

Still, I'll probably see it for shits and giggles, which is all watching anything related to this series is good for anyway.

In other news, it's nice to see you haven't pandered to fangirls. Seriously, some fangirls don't know what they're talking about. Some of the Twilight fangirls are absolutely crazy, too: did you see when Taylor Launter appeared on the Jay Leno show? He said that one of the moms wanted him to sign her friggin underwear! Even that mom's daughter knew it was too much!

Speaking of which, the Twilight hype isn't exclusive to teenage girls. My mom also really likes the franchise, and she's past 50 years old. Food for thought, eh?