Escape to the Movies: New Moon

[Sovvolf]

I hate vampire movies to begin mainly because so few of them ever turn out to be any good and the vampires a just really morbidly depressed dicks who prefer pushing people way or throwing them rather then hitting any one... serioursly I though vampires are supposed to have stuff like hightenend senses, super speed and strenght... when put on film it just looks like a speed up video tape and the super strength... were's that... the vamps just pick up the guy and throw him or push the guy across the street. You have super speed and strength... you could hit him twelve times with the force of a car from each blow before the other guy got his first punch off... effectively tearing his face to ribbins... what the fuck are you doing puching the guy.

The Twilight series manage to do the impossible and make a vampire movie that's more morbid and dull then any other vampire movie out there... it's a emo's dream.

 

[RavingPenguin]

Glad to see that someone sane finally agrees with me (I don't count fangirls as 'sane' because in my opinion the crazy screaming girls are just as bad as the haters in that they make actual fans like myself look pretty bad). And you say Alice doesn't appear much? Dammit! She's my favourite character too, and as I recall she's much more central in this book, appearing about halfway in then staying as a major focus of attention along with Bella until the end. If she's not the focus of things as much as in the book I'll be mightily pissed off...

(yes, I do think Ashley Greene is hot, but seriously, who here doesn't?)

Im just going off the review but according to Bob, Alice isnt in the movie much. I know she is central in the book, and after the incident involving Edward she becomes Bellas best freind. Hopefully she'll have a bigger role in the last two movies.

 

[Primee133]

Blade > Twilight

 

[corporate_gamer]

So whats up with the bleeping, one of the best thing about the internet is the lack of censorship; you found a huge youth market or something?

And yeah i haven't seen any of the twilight films and i'm not planning on. But people have gone a bit overboard both praising and critising the films. If i had to guess i would've said 'i hated them but i'm not the target audience' but people are goin crazy about how bad a teenage romance film is, like they're suprised.

 

[Wolcik]

Thank you, MovieBob... I was wondering if the New Moon would by a super hyper miracle turned out to be a good movie, and now I know that there is no God or at least he wants to kill us again like with that float one time...

 

[talkyteeky]

Well done. That is going to be my new argument against Twilight at school now, thank you.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

I feel all tingly and happy.

I would rather watch the Star Wars Holiday Special than these Goddamn Movies.

 

[Trivun]

I do and I'm a nineteen year old guy. I was planning to see it tonight except a friend (also a guy) who saw it last night said that although it was decent, the amount of screaming fangirls made it less enjoyable, so I may wait until an adult screening is done at the local cinema (i.e. 18 and over only). Have you actually seen it, or made an attempt to see it? If so then your opinion is fair and noted. If you haven't made an attempt to see it then what right do you have to criticise it?

I don't understand the "you can't judge if you haven't experienced it" angle. What, am I not allowed to say that Hitler was a horrible person because he didn't kill half of my lineage (Yes, Godwin's law, I know)? Or, perhaps, I can't say that Putin is the devil because I'm not Russian?

Anyway, with things like Twilight, you don't need any sort of license to criticize.

Obviously if you weren't alive to see Hitler's reign of terror then you can hardly be expected to experience it in order to criticise it, right? However, we know it was awful because of all the historical evidence and accounts from people who lived in that time, for example the massive death toll and the Holocaust. Actual evidence exists, right there on paper, that tells us what that was like. Something like Twilight is something that can be experienced, and everyone will have a different opinion, so for that particular case then you should make an efort to have that experience before you criticise it. Otheriwse your mind is being influenced by other people to make you think the same way as them. At least with the Holocaust you can check facts and figures so even if people try and make you think it was bad, you can decide for yourself by looking at the facts and realising that they are, in fact, correct. Twilight, on the other hand, is something that is based on your own experience, as indeed all entertainment is. So yes, you should see it before you decide it's bad. I'd be perfectly willing to see a Uwe Boll film before deciding if it's good or bad (in fact, I want to see Postal even though I've heard it's terrible). Basically, surely you can use some bloody common sense?

And yes, as I say, you should need to have some experience before criticisng Twilight. Just because some people think it's bad and some think it's good, doesn't mean you should have the right to dismiss it out of hand. If you've seen it then I accept your opinion, for better or worse. If not, then please don't waste my time making me listen to bile-filled hate rants or praise filled love outbursts about something you know little about.

[small]DISCLAIMER: This is in no way an attck on anybody who I am discussing Twilight with at this time. I mean no offence with my comments, I simply wish to express my feelings and happen to feel strongly about this particular topic.[/small]

 

[DaBozz]

One word, ditch this shit and watch hellsing if you want REAL vampires.

 

[Vault boy Eddie]

Sadly, to a fangirl, they only heard white noise. And I agree, what's with all the bleeps! Yahtzee cusses like a pirate!

 

[Aesir23]

If the movie's any good then I may see it, but I'm waiting until it comes out on VoD so I don't have to deal with squealing fangirls. I went to see the last Twilight movie in the theatre with my sister and her friends and I can't recall how many times I had to shush the girl in front of my before I finally told he to "Stop fucking squealing". Even her own mother was trying to get her to be quiet >_>

EDIT:// I would like to point out that I still reeeaaaaaaaaaally dislike Twilight. But meh, if a movie's good then why not see it. Though I doubt this movie will be very good. Decent maybe, but no Return of the King.

 

[Trivun]

Glad to see that someone sane finally agrees with me (I don't count fangirls as 'sane' because in my opinion the crazy screaming girls are just as bad as the haters in that they make actual fans like myself look pretty bad). And you say Alice doesn't appear much? Dammit! She's my favourite character too, and as I recall she's much more central in this book, appearing about halfway in then staying as a major focus of attention along with Bella until the end. If she's not the focus of things as much as in the book I'll be mightily pissed off...

(yes, I do think Ashley Greene is hot, but seriously, who here doesn't?)

Im just going off the review but according to Bob, Alice isnt in the movie much. I know she is central in the book, and after the incident involving Edward she becomes Bellas best freind. Hopefully she'll have a bigger role in the last two movies.

Hopefully. However, she isn't in Breaking Dawn much either, so that's a bit of a downer

 

[Trivun]

If the movie's any good then I may see it, but I'm waiting until it comes out on VoD so I don't have to deal with squealing fangirls. I went to see the last Twilight movie in the theatre with my sister and her friends and I can't recall how many times I had to shush the girl in front of my before I finally told he to "Stop fucking squealing". Even her own mother was trying to get her to be quiet >_>

Heh, see, that's why I'm seeing the adult's only screening at my local cinema tonight . No screaming fangirls to distract me with thoughts of murder then...

EDIT: Sorry, double post...

 

[johnman]

I love Bobs summarisation of the plot, "I'm leaving"/ "I'm sad now"

 

[MiracleOfSound]

OH MY GOD! FINALLY! Someone other than myself gets that twilight is crap.

I think you will find you are not alone with that feeling in these parts. Twilight comes second only to Halo in the flame threads.

 

[Aesir23]

If the movie's any good then I may see it, but I'm waiting until it comes out on VoD so I don't have to deal with squealing fangirls. I went to see the last Twilight movie in the theatre with my sister and her friends and I can't recall how many times I had to shush the girl in front of my before I finally told he to "Stop fucking squealing". Even her own mother was trying to get her to be quiet >_>

Heh, see, that's why I'm seeing the adult's only screening at my local cinema tonight . No screaming fangirls to distract me with thoughts of murder then...

Lucky bastard. We don't get any Adults Only screenings. The closest theatre is Silver City so they're more concerned with raking in as much money as possible.

 

[stickmangrit]

I do and I'm a nineteen year old guy. I was planning to see it tonight except a friend (also a guy) who saw it last night said that although it was decent, the amount of screaming fangirls made it less enjoyable, so I may wait until an adult screening is done at the local cinema (i.e. 18 and over only). Have you actually seen it, or made an attempt to see it? If so then your opinion is fair and noted. If you haven't made an attempt to see it then what right do you have to criticise it?

I don't understand the "you can't judge if you haven't experienced it" angle. What, am I not allowed to say that Hitler was a horrible person because he didn't kill half of my lineage (Yes, Godwin's law, I know)? Or, perhaps, I can't say that Putin is the devil because I'm not Russian?

Anyway, with things like Twilight, you don't need any sort of license to criticize.

Obviously if you weren't alive to see Hitler's reign of terror then you can hardly be expected to experience it in order to criticise it, right? However, we know it was awful because of all the historical evidence and accounts from people who lived in that time, for example the massive death toll and the Holocaust. Actual evidence exists, right there on paper, that tells us what that was like. Something like Twilight is something that can be experienced, and everyone will have a different opinion, so for that particular case then you should make an efort to have that experience before you criticise it. Otheriwse your mind is being influenced by other people to make you think the same way as them. At least with the Holocaust you can check facts and figures so even if people try and make you think it was bad, you can decide for yourself by looking at the facts and realising that they are, in fact, correct. Twilight, on the other hand, is something that is based on your own experience, as indeed all entertainment is. So yes, you should see it before you decide it's bad. I'd be perfectly willing to see a Uwe Boll film before deciding if it's good or bad (in fact, I want to see Postal even though I've heard it's terrible). Basically, surely you can use some bloody common sense?

And yes, as I say, you should need to have some experience before criticisng Twilight. Just because some people think it's bad and some think it's good, doesn't mean you should have the right to dismiss it out of hand. If you've seen it then I accept your opinion, for better or worse. If not, then please don't waste my time making me listen to bile-filled hate rants or praise filled love outbursts about something you know little about.

[small]DISCLAIMER: This is in no way an attck on anybody who I am discussing Twilight with at this time. I mean no offence with my comments, I simply wish to express my feelings and happen to feel strongly about this particular topic.[/small]

i've seen the first one, with Riff Trax, 3/4 pack of Marlboro 27s and half a bottle of Jameson to keep my brain from committing suicide. for the last twenty minutes i was rocking back and forth in my chair, unable to bring myself to look at the screen longer than a horrified glance just to make sure i wasn't hallucinating how fucking horrible this movie was. Twilight is two hours of physical pain compressed to visual form. it's terrible, morally reprehensible, fawful, overflowing with squick, and should not be handled without hazardous material precautions and a priest, rabbi, and Buddhist monk handy for exorcisms. the motherfuckers who made "Manos": The Hands of Fate watchable could do nothing to blunt the horror that was Twilight.

but god help me if i don't plan on punishing myself all over again once i can torrent this newest piece of shit and pay four bucks for the privelege of Mike Nelson & co guide me through it's squalid bowels. at least it looks like they hired a fight coordinator for this one.

 

[Trivun]

If the movie's any good then I may see it, but I'm waiting until it comes out on VoD so I don't have to deal with squealing fangirls. I went to see the last Twilight movie in the theatre with my sister and her friends and I can't recall how many times I had to shush the girl in front of my before I finally told he to "Stop fucking squealing". Even her own mother was trying to get her to be quiet >_>

Heh, see, that's why I'm seeing the adult's only screening at my local cinema tonight . No screaming fangirls to distract me with thoughts of murder then...

Lucky bastard. We don't get any Adults Only screenings. The closest theatre is Silver City so they're more concerned with raking in as much money as possible.

Well, my cinema's the same. Apparently you have to pay an extra pound per ticket for the AO screenings, and they're only after 10:30pm (until the last screening which can sometimes be after midnight). However, I'm in the UK so I guess things are different here, to some extent...

 

[Aesir23]

Well, my cinema's the same. Apparently you have to pay an extra pound per ticket for the AO screenings, and they're only after 10:30pm (until the last screening which can sometimes be after midnight). However, I'm in the UK so I guess things are different here, to some extent...

Yeah, I'm all the way across the North Atlantic Ocean. Canada still has some things that are UK inspired. But apparently Adults Only Screenings isn't one of them which is a damned shame.

 

[GrinningManiac]

The bleeping is terribly annoying.

I always find it funnier when it's bleeped

This pretty much sums up my view on the franchise, with the affix of "But I respect that some people (including friends) like it, and I do not think differently of them for this"

But yeah, my main gripe is the author and the crap she vomits forth, not the characters or clichés (Though those are exactly the same thing, my problem is that she actually MADE this stuff and it became popular more than the fact that it's now here to stay)

Excellent, MovieBob, I wholeheartedly shake you by the hand

You know what? I loved that review so much I'm gonna rewatch it