Escape to the Movies: The Expendables

[baconfist]

Wow movie Bob what a fail review. I'd say that the Expendables wasn't the best movie of all time but it was damn enjoyable to watch, not like SALT which you said was a solid action movie, and I say is also a pile of crap. But to complain that we are sheep and we should have gone to see Scott pilgrim. God you are clueless, people don't wanna see Scott pilgrim because we cant stand Michael Cera. Michael Cera is like radiation poisoning and I can only survive his acting in small doses, and after his last movie I need about another 6 months to detox.

 

[JacobPlackett]

Goodness, baconfist, that was an awesome post.

You get 1 internet.

Bob will probably talk about this in his next review, saying that the Scott Pilgrim haters are morons even though they aren't blind fanboys.

 

[PhiMed]

Bob, you really have to stop projecting your nerd crushes for movie A onto movie B. Would you be this negative about The Expendables if Scott Pilgrim had been a hit? I think not.

I understand that you're upset that Scott Pilgrim imploded at the box office. You've proclaimed your ooey gooey feelings for it in Intermission this week. Whether it will "matter" a year from now remains to be seen (I doubt it), but you can't be surprised or angry it failed. I mean, a movie about a hipster douche with no job chasing an unattractive woman, featuring a bunch of inside nerd references and incredibly shitty music? How could that fail? I mean, it has all the ingredients for success!

Let's consider the reasons for its success, shall we?
1) It's tailor-made for the group of degenerates who steal all their movies off the internet.
2) It holds almost no appeal to anyone over the age of 25 who has ever held a real job for more than a month.
3) The few people with jobs who might be interested have to wade through the ocean of stinky douchery known as the "target audience" to get into a theater, something not everyone's willing to do.
4) The female lead and the male lead are, in order, the two least interesting characters in the movie.
How can you fail with that winning formula?

Look, I've seen both of them, and I found them both mildly entertaining but sorely lacking. Take a Xanax or something.

 

[AntiChrist]

It's suprising how upset people get regarding MovieBob's accusation of them being sheeps.

Supposedly if they weren't sheeps, MovieBob's comment would be irrelevant to them and they would simply dismiss his accusation with a mere 'meh'.

Instead, all I'm hearing is: 'Baaaa! Baaaa! Baaaa!'

Truly mind boggling...

 

[Jaxl]

.

 

[Badassassin]

I think Bob is kinda a flip-flopper on action movies. In some action movies he'll be like "Sure it's mindless... but it's fun!" And then on another similar one he'll say "This is just mindless and we don't need another one... see you next week guys when I say the opposite about another action movie!"

I don't think Bob should review action movies, because to me it seems to just be based on what sort of mood he's in.

 

[Gindil]

I have to say I agree on Scott Pilgrim.

For gosh sakes, I have no idea about the Cera hate. It just seems retarded to me. Yes, he's typecast. Yes, he always gets the girl.

But it's like saying Serendipity doesn't have a Marty Stu type character getting a girl he never has a chance with, but for the force of his personality, is great because it's an idealistic look at how we humans want to be.

Cera plays flawed characters. Scott Pilgrim is a lazy douche both in the comics and in the movie. He had a 17 year old gunning for him that he didn't want to break up with but had to because Wallace forced him to. Top that off with Pilgrim not wanting to face reality and learn from his mistakes and you have something similar to what Cera plays well.

Characters with acknowledged flaws that the audience can identify with.

Alright, we got that out the way.

Expendables. Seven actors when really, all you need is two or three to take the movie forward. Why you have Austin and Couture there, I have no idea. Still, the points brought up are pretty accurate in the fact that I fail to see how it plays to the strengths of all involved. I mean, for goodness sakes, why is Jet Li there? Does he need a paycheck that badly? Did he lose a bet? More than likely, his martial arts prowess and fight choreography just makes for a few great scenes, not a great movie.

Would I go see the movie over Pilgrim? Depends, I'm more a game geek myself so I rather enjoyed the graphix and allusions to gaming. The seven evil exes thing was a great allusion to Scott actually having to grow the F(*& up and act better than the child he was in the beginning. I think somehow that got lost in translation.

Expendables seemed like more a shoddy attempt to shove some testosterone poisoning down my throat to say it's the greatest thing EVER, when it's not.

But hey, that's just my view.

 

[lacktheknack]

I'm gonna get suspended for this, as for all fan forums, the mods can't take opinions.

I highly doubt it, take a look at this thread in general. Besides, we pride ourselves in having more tolerant mods.

(If you get suspended, I'm gonna cry.)

 

[Spink]

snip

Jesus that's incredibly rude. Don't get uppity over Bob's comments and then go make assumptions over people who enjoyed Scott Pilgrim. That's the definition of a hypocrite. That being said everyone throws around the word hipster without knowing what it means.

People don't like Scott Pilgrim by going into it with poor expectations and refusing to like it for reasons like casting choice or just inherent prejudices against what they think the movie stands for. That's why it is disappointing when does poorly in the box office, Edgar Wright really made that movie work and is a far better director than Stallone. It is evident he put a great deal of effort to make that movie work and give it a unique feel. To be fair having looked over the books afterwards I'm surprised he was able to turn it into an enjoyable movie.

Stallone has his own little niche but all he does nowadays is remake his old movies or just make homages to his old movies.

 

[someotherguy]

I don't know of any word to describe the type of person who drones about "The social sheep line up for processed crappy cheese" but if I knew it, i'd use it here. Darn. AlmOst had it, yoU Certainly HavE to think rather hard to figure this word out.

I usually agree with movie bob, but i'd rather not this time.

Jokes aside, 5 minutes of nerd rage isn't always enjoyable. As some other user said, he seems to go back and forth off of action movies dependent on his mood. Not every movie needs to be an artistic master piece to be enjoyable, sometimes people just want an interesting box to look at to kill an hour or so.

 

[Fraught]

I'm gonna get suspended for this, as for all fan forums, the mods can't take opinions.

Urgh, you do realize that by talking about this and setting the idea forth, you increase the chance of that happening?

It's suprising how upset people get regarding MovieBob's accusation of them being sheeps.

Supposedly if they weren't sheeps, MovieBob's comment would be irrelevant to them and they would simply dismiss his accusation with a mere 'meh'.

Instead, all I'm hearing is: 'Baaaa! Baaaa! Baaaa!'

Truly mind boggling...

Even though I was surprised about his opinion of The Expendables, I didn't really take the sheep comment to heart at all. He can think what he wants; this is the same philosophy I apply in real life. I know better what I am, why I am, than he, for some ignorant shit-spewing.

But I love your comment. People get way too worked up over this.

 

[wolf_isthebest]

Just saw the movie with my friends and we had a blast. This movie was pure stupid fun. The script is horrible and the dialogue is BAD but the action scenes are decent and most important IT WAS FUN ! Hope they make a sequel with no dialogue, more action and JCVD.

 

[martintheG]

well good thing i missed my chance to go to the cinema today... now all i have to do is aviod friends who wants to see this movie

 

[Lucifron]

Fuck Scott pilgrim.

Even my girlfriend liked the Expendibles and was able to understand what it stood for.... And she was born in 1990....

...what?

Could you please elaborate on what The Expendables stands for, and what your girlfriend being born in 1990 has to do with her ability to comprehend that?

 

[zHellas]

do you not think there might be a reason this film is #1? do you not think there is a reason its made $35 hyperbazillion?

People are stupid? Usually...

 

[Mr. Doe]

Go to jail moviebob, Scott Pilgrim is nothing but hipster trash on par with JUNO (I could tolerate you thinking it was good because its riddled with videogame jokes) while the Expendables is just a simple ACTION movie the only reason you didnt like it is because you ARENT someone who likes action movies on their merits, sure you might have liked them back in the 80's but now you only like them because of nostalgia or B plots, and calling it bloodless? A man gets blown in half within the first few minutes, The guy with the Fu-man-chu gets his neck broken by an axe kick, Eric Roberts gets a massive knife chucked into his sternum after being shot 6 times and Steve Austin gets FUCKING PUNCHED TO DEATH WHILE ON FIRE. You didnt come here looking for an action flick you came here looking for an homage to them but it IS an 80's style movie. you were looking for a mock 80's style movie with todays kind approach and choreagraphy. It isnt a Kung-fu movie, it isnt a gun movie, its an ACTION movie the first real one in 40 goddamn years, you wanted a goddamn parody not the real deal so if you want to talk about how much you love Predator, Die hard, Rambo, or anything ever again then you better be talking ironically you fat putz.
P.S. Van Damme and Jason Staham are actual martial artists while Jet Li is a pacifist.

 

[Dragon Zero]

Oh, hi Angry Bob, has it really been that long? Well I hope Movie Bob comes back and is able to review a movie instead of telling me I'm a horrible person for enjoying this movie. Seriously, you can badmouth a film all you want but to tell me that I should be ashamed for liking it of my own free will is where I'll draw the line. I'll still watch his reviews and probably still love them but this was more of a rant than anything else. I watched the Expendables and I loved the hell out of it and I don't care who knows it. You may not like it but don't call me an idiot or a horrible person for liking a movie.

 

[Dorby5826and360]

I thought it was a good movie, I was disappointed that it was not as graphic as Rambo, but it has good kills in it, like when they were holding a person partly down an kicks him in the head breaking is neck and has a really cool cracking noise with it, also a person is blown in half on the first kill and a person gets his head cut off, so I thought it was satisfying.

 

[G-Force]

I could barely finish watching this review. Took a lot of strength.

I can't believe Bob this week. We are obedient sheep because we go see one of the biggest collaboration films this decade instead of watching a film that was barely advertised in many places? We are the worst kind of people on earth because we like the premise that a movie will be an homage to 80s action films?

He dropped the ball on this review. Insulting a film is one thing, insulting someone for liking it is another, but insulting people for thinking the premise sounds like a fun idea?. That's a new low. I won't even go into how much I disagree with you on the quality of the film.

For someone who tries to hinder people from being elitist nerds, you are one of the biggest elitist nerds I've seen in quite a while.

Also this,

Also Movie Bob keeps holding up Equilibrium when talking about better action movies, that movie was utter twaddle pure over stylised matrix clone waffle. Even metacritic has it lower than the Expendables

I'm going to call it:

MovieBob is a hypocrite.

He complains that the people on earth are sheep following the word of the media and that we need to make our own decisions. BULLSHIT. That's not what he wants. He wants to be the one the sheep follow! That's why he's frustrated right now. A majority of people don't do what he thinks they should do, so he claims that they are sheep. What, so if we follow your word and just watch Scott Pilgrim instead of the Expendables we're not sheep?

Does he realize that Scott Pilgrim isn't AT ALL as appealing as The Expendables? Does he realize that Scott Pilgrim is aimed for a much smaller audience than the Expendables? If he doesn't, he's a moron. If he does, then he is frustrated because people won't go to see a film not meant for them, which, again, shows how he wants everyone to be his sheep, following his words. Anyone who doesn't? In Bob's eyes, they are the sheep of the media, explosion hungry idiots who don't deserve to watch films.

He's even worse than fucking Yahtzee! Yahtzee at least doesn't pretend to be anything else than someone who insults people that don't agree with him. Bob tries to make himself look like a god amongst nerds we all should follow, and when we don't, he starts to whine.

I love you. I love you so much.

Scott Pilgrim IS hipster crap.Just the trailer tells me that, with all it's bullcrap effects which make it look like an acid trip rather than a video game world. Tron did a video game world so much better than this. He is butthurt because the Expendables did better, but that's because Expendables wasn't designed to be a hipster shit film which only a select few(the ones who get mocked, I should say, for getting all the references) can watch. It was designed to be a fun throwback film which multiple people can enjoy. Acton buffs, people who love the classic action films, and yes, college jocks. Also, the movie was meant to be in two different formats; a violent one, and a PG13 one. Bob needs to realise that because a movie like the Expendables isn't the sole reason why this film fails. It's because films like this are for obsessed hipsters who think the franchise is the greatest thing of all time. Like the video game made, a boring beat-em-up which has awful pixel graphics and uninspired gameplay.

I'm gonna get suspended for this, as for all fan forums, the mods can't take opinions.

Have you even seen the movie? Scott Pilgrim goes out of its way to mock hipster culture such as its obsession of liking niche titles and over importance of a vegan diet. Please define the term hipster for us and why you think Scott Pilgrim falls under this before you go and start bashing the movie.