Escape to the Movies: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

[pitasgame]

I have read several teen series. Whenever I get tired of adultness, I go and read something light and imaginative. I have read Harry Potter of course (brilliantly written! S.Meyer could only pray to be 1/100th as talented), the Golden Compass series, the Eragon series (again, amazing writer and he wrote Eragon when he was 16!!), the Inkworld trilogy, Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, and Septumus Heap series. All of these are wonderfully written, brilliantly imaginative, narratives so deep and rich you can't help but get sucked into their worlds.

I have never read Meyers' crap. Any of her works. ANY! I have only seen trailers of the Twilight evilness. And what movie Bob said in this review is what I have been saying since I saw the very first trailer.

I found on YouTube a video of Buffy vs Edward, where he is stalking her, and instead of her falling in love with him, she mentions that stalking is NOT cool, NOT romantic, and NOT something to be desired. Oh and then she stakes his ass!!

This series truly does scare me as well for the absolutely horrific message it sends to impressionable pre-teens, but more importantly, the message their mothers are apparently also gobbling up as quickly as their daughters. I've never been more ashamed of my generation.

I can't explain how badly I feel this series needs to go somewhere and die. The final book from what I have heard and then curiously looked into, almost made me vomit. Meyer needs help and if I could invent a time machine I would seriously make sure she took up cooking or something instead of writing her first poem at 16 about the boy who probably treated her like crap so she convinced herself it was his way of saying he loved her, in order to get through the hell of highschool. Meyer get over it!! He just wasn't that into you!!

 

[The Rockerfly]

Damn Bob you tore that to shreds *high fives*

 

[DC_Josh]

To be honest, i've always thought that most young girls dream of marriage, so I can't quite understand the logic of people saying that they are surprised/appalled when the subject comes up. Now I dislike and defy the idea of early marriage, but not at the expense of mistaking youthful girlish fantasies for an actual desire to tie the knot.

That's just the point, DC Josh: Little girls are TAUGHT to see marriage as an ultimate goal in their lives, and the crappy Twilight movies just reinforce that.

Do little boys dream of getting married? No. They dream of careers, goals, adventures. Shouldn't it be the same for girls?

No I 100% agree with you on that part and I know a number of girls who do follow the whole career thing although the best of them seem to have balanced it out with a desire to start a family (albeit at a later date). What I am suggesting however is the idea that little girls wanting to get married (or perhaps even just have a wedding) nature or nurture?

 

[plunderbunny]

*applauds* very well said Movie Bob

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Wow, Twilight has done the impossible for being a scary "horror" (it isn't by any means, but is technically listed as such) movie, not for the monsters (though it is scary how they made A GIANT BATTLE BETWEEN WEREWOLFS AND VAMPIRES A HUG FEST), not for trying to break us menatly with its imagery, but for the message is trying to hammer into our brains.

I don't believe that video games cause violence. I don't believe that gay people can't be good parents, teachers, or anything else. But Twilight? It is one of those things that has the power to change the thinking of its target audiance, the 14 year olds that are just hitting puberty, but still have childhood memories of Prince Charming. It is only going down hill from here folks... you know what is are two things that are going to happen in the next movie?

Spoiler

One, (this is minor enough to be cut from the movie, but you know how many girls have read the books?) a girlfriend is going to get ripped to shreds by her werewolf boy friend, but stay with him because, I am not kidding here, "he lost control, but still knows he loves her."

Two, Belle is going to get pergnet with Edward's child and is going to decide to keep it, EVEN THOUGH HE RAN OFF AGAIN AND THE BABY HAS A HIGH CHANCE OF KILLING HER ON DELIVERY!

Can somebody honestly tell me that they want their child to read this? Or watch this?

You forgot the to mention that

Spoiler

Edward fucks her into a coma and Jacob falls in love with a baby.

O.O

*Starts banging head against a wall to rerepress those memories.*

 

[Firia]

Why did they have you review this? I mean, who among the Escapist's audience was possibly considering going to see this?

I second this. WTF MovieBob? You are wasting everyone's time.

OT: You said you don't think Modern Warfare will turn everyone into gun toting killers, then why do you think Twilight will affect girls? I see that as a double standard.

I'm guessing it has to do with one of two things; either MovieBob gets a list of movies to review from Russ Pitts, Escapists Chief and Overlord, or Bob needed to HATE something. After last weeks review of Night and Day, he said it was so bland, that there was nothing to like, and nothing to dislike. Needing something to fill the void, Bob sought the one thing he know he would absolutely get a reaction from. Without ever knowing what movies would elicit a positive reaction, we went for the sure thing-- world ending Hate; Twilight.

I seriously felt some Yahtzee inspiration in this review.

 

[KatanaRose]

Bob, I agree entirely with all that you are saying Except for your take on virginity. Yes, Twilight is not giving the greatest message, but purity is not a problem. People who hold onto their purity are generally happier with the one they marry cause they have no one else to compare them too. Sexual connection is very powerful and can be very destructive if purity is just thrown out the window. I am not quoting a book or creedo, I am simply care about people and have been there for those who have been hurt by being pressured into having sex, or having it haphazardly. In my experience holding on to your virginity holds rewards of course not being a sank, but also avoids much pain and anguish.
Yes, its true that living life just like Bela from twilight will put you on the path to abuse cause you don't stand up for yourself. Virginity is not part of that problem. In fact virginity is standing up and saying, "I care about myself, and I am not going to just do it with whoever!"
Just an observation, I did enjoy both your twilight rants.

I think that's his point: alone, the virginity doesn't make that big of a deal, but like you said, it give the woman nothing to compare to. Therefore, she's less likely to figure out she's in an abusive relationship.

Also I hate the word skank and people who use it. A real problem with sexism today in my eyes are that men who are promiscuous seem to have a higher standing in society then men who don't (Pimps and players and whatnot), while women have a lower standing in society then women who don't for the exact same action (Sluts and skanks). It's a double standard that's been peeving me off for some time.

Interesting view points. Though notice in my post that when I used the word "skank" or talked about holding on to ones virginity I did not hold to that this was only for women rather both sexes should be applied. To clarify I believe that if you sleep around haphazardly as a guy or a girl you are equally skanky. Yes I agree with you that there is a unfortunate sexual based double standard in society that I too would like to see disappear.
In my experience guys and girls who don't give themselves away and hold on to their virginity avoid people who are abusive and just want to have sex with them and then dump them. They find out more quickly if someone will really be there for them in a loving relationship because its based more on commitment and character than how good someone is in bed. It avoids abusive guys and girls cause being told "no" will bring out that abusive tendency and then you just dump them.
On the flip side I do know some guys who slept around, and later got married. They had trouble with comparing their spouses with the others they had slept with especially the first one. It hurt their relationship deeply and took much work to get through.
I am simply stating this; in my experience sexual purity has lead to more happy fulfilling healthy marriages, and sexual impurity has hurt, wounded and even destroyed people in my life. Virginity is not a cure all, there is more than that to relationships, but it has made many of my friends very happy to only know one person sexually who they are married to.
Enjoyed your insights RestamSalucard.

 

[esperandote]

Wow, I liked the review a lot. You tore that apart better than Yahtzee tears a game apart.

Bob, I'm going to have to ask you to qualify your statement that Bryce Dallas Howard is too good for Twilight. What good movies has she done? Spider-Man 3? Lady in the Water? Terminator Salvation?!

Please, she's pretty and all, but I have yet to see her be spectacular in anything. Just humdrum, which fits Twilight perfectly.

The village?

 

[Iskenator67]

And I eagerly look forward to the inevitable skewering Mike, Kevin, and Bill shall give this load of excrement in six months or so...

Mike, Kevin, and Bill? I've not heard of these people before. Mind filling me in?

 

[MarsProbe]

OK, so this is basically a twilight thread, so it seems like the right place to ask this. What is the deal with the Twilight werewolves (even if they do look more like oversized family pets in this film).

I've always though werewolves only cropped up when there was a full moon in the sky, However, when I see werewolves in this film, there doesn't seem to be a full moon around to speak off. Another clip I was seemed to show a person becoming a werewolf with such impeccable timing it looked like it was basically down to action on the part of the person as opposed to some lunar event.

So either I missed something, or the "facts" of werewolves have been twisted in much the same as vampires were for Twilights purposes....

 

[Jikuu]

I'm sorry you had to review a Twilight movie, Bob, but to be honest, I find you ripping into the Twilight franchise great stuff. Thanks for putting up with it.

 

[RestamSalucard]

Snip

Thank you, but I think you may find this quote more enlightening on Moviebob's reasoning from his blog.

On it's face, of course there's nothing technically "wrong" with abstinence. The modern "purity ring" movement is one of the DUMBEST examples of mass-wishful-thinking currently going on, IMO, but that's a seperate issue.

The problem is, "Twilight's" running-metaphor isn't about virginity as a "good thing" but as a COMMODITY. If vampire-biting = sex, you've basically got a story about two guys who's "love" for the girl is contingent on her remaining "human" - aka pure and sexless.

Bella wants to become a vampire - i.e. "get laid" - but Edward is reluctant because he sees himself as a "monster" and doesn't want her to become such. Does that have a familiar and unpleasant ring to it? Hell, in case we're not quite getting it, Edward spells it out: He thinks he doesn't have a soul, and that vampirizing (read: fucking) Bella will mean she won't have one, either. Meanwhile, Jacob doesn't want her "doing it" either - at least, not with anyone but him - because if she does she'll be just another vampire he's honor-bound to run down and kill.

See what I mean? This isn't "abstinence," this is regression to the old-time patriarchal bullshit notion that a woman is only worthwhile if she's "unsullied." It's despicable.

 

[garion333]

Bob, you don't need to review anymore of these films, they're too easy.

 

[Yelchor]

Moviebob's summation of the plot concept at the beginning sounded a hundred times more interesting then the entire Twilight franchise. Atleast they could have stuck with the love triangle plot and let the monster war idea keep its dignity for a better movie, but then that would mean they could likely only have two movies to get money from.

 

[MasterChief892039]

To be honest, i've always thought that most young girls dream of marriage, so I can't quite understand the logic of people saying that they are surprised/appalled when the subject comes up. Now I dislike and defy the idea of early marriage, but not at the expense of mistaking youthful girlish fantasies for an actual desire to tie the knot.

That's just the point, DC Josh: Little girls are TAUGHT to see marriage as an ultimate goal in their lives, and the crappy Twilight movies just reinforce that.

Do little boys dream of getting married? No. They dream of careers, goals, adventures. Shouldn't it be the same for girls?

No I 100% agree with you on that part and I know a number of girls who do follow the whole career thing although the best of them seem to have balanced it out with a desire to start a family (albeit at a later date). What I am suggesting however is the idea that little girls wanting to get married (or perhaps even just have a wedding) nature or nurture?

Little girls being marriage-centric must be a nurture thing, not nature, because as a chick I can tell you that not once in my childhood did I think about marriage. My parents let me pick out my own toys and play my own games, and I always ended up with dinosaur toys instead of Barbies.

None of my girl friends were very enthralled by the concept of marriage either. Mind you, not many of them were "tomboys" like I was in childhood, but even the girliest of my friends would have rather played Pokemon in their youth than act out a wedding.

Basically, little girls don't have a sexuality, so it's ridiculous to think they naturally dream of to get married. Sure, everyone wants to find a partner someday, but that's not something you think about when you're a child. And if it is, then it's a concept that has been implanted by an outside source, not something the little girl came to on her own. Not to mention that a little girl's fascination with weddings has more to do with the idea of having a ceremony where all the attention is on you than it does with actually getting married.

 

[Giandroid]

YES! I've got some lady friends who tell me that [Twilight] is harmless. I've always countered that NO IT IS NOT HARMLESS, and for those exact reasons! Movie Bob, I finally agree with you COMPLETELY! I've always found you entertaining and thought-provoking, but this is a gem.

 

[Sejvos]

I have to say i'm sick of seeing twilight werever I go there is just way to much hipe for these movies and what is up with the werewolfs they just look like a bunch of plan old dog to me I mean werewolfs are big crazy half man half wolfe monsters from the deeps of hell twilight's werewolf don't even look half as scary as my own dog and the vampires look like wrist cutting sad sacks. It just sad what there doing and it's all just for money.

 

[KatanaRose]

Snip

Thank you, but I think you may find this quote more enlightening on Moviebob's reasoning from his blog.

On it's face, of course there's nothing technically "wrong" with abstinence. The modern "purity ring" movement is one of the DUMBEST examples of mass-wishful-thinking currently going on, IMO, but that's a seperate issue.

The problem is, "Twilight's" running-metaphor isn't about virginity as a "good thing" but as a COMMODITY. If vampire-biting = sex, you've basically got a story about two guys who's "love" for the girl is contingent on her remaining "human" - aka pure and sexless.

Bella wants to become a vampire - i.e. "get laid" - but Edward is reluctant because he sees himself as a "monster" and doesn't want her to become such. Does that have a familiar and unpleasant ring to it? Hell, in case we're not quite getting it, Edward spells it out: He thinks he doesn't have a soul, and that vampirizing (read: fucking) Bella will mean she won't have one, either. Meanwhile, Jacob doesn't want her "doing it" either - at least, not with anyone but him - because if she does she'll be just another vampire he's honor-bound to run down and kill.

See what I mean? This isn't "abstinence," this is regression to the old-time patriarchal bullshit notion that a woman is only worthwhile if she's "unsullied." It's despicable.

Now this is a good take on twilight's spin on peoples' views towards self worth. Virginity not being the problem but people putting a sort of standard that says, "You are worth more if your haven't had sex." Its a stupid notion that if people take it seriously leads to thousands of people feeling worthless.Whether you have been pure your whole life or not should Never determine your worth.