Escapists and marriage

[Nimcha]

Whilst reading the plethora of threads on relationships and subjects related to that on the Escapist I've noticed a lot of different viewpoints on the subject of marriage. So I thought I'd gauge the general opinion with a few simple questions. Maybe I even stole the idea from the thread about sex. I'll go first!

-Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday?
-Will it be/was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event?
-How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?
-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?
-Anything else you might want to add.

My answers:

-No I'm not married and I don't intend to be any time soon. I am not opposed to the idea but it is certainly not one of my goals. I also don't like what marriage represents in certain societies.
-If I do actually get married, I want a big wedding. Lots of guests, big ceremony and a great party. I want it to be a celebration of love. I think the only part of a marriage I actually like is the wedding itself.
-I don't really care, I personally believe it's better to get out of a bad relationship than stay in one just because of a document you signed. Even more so if there are children.
-In short, yes. I may not be the biggest fan of marriage but I do want to have the opportunity and choice. Thankfully in my country I do.
-I've been a bridesmaid twice now and absolutely loved it, like I said I'm a sucker for ceremony.

Now it's your turn, fire away!

 

[Marter]

No, probably someday.
Quiet, I certainly hope.
Most people do think about it too lightly, I find.
Yes.
I've got nothing else to add.

 

[wooty]

-Maybe someday if I can manage to become stable enough to deserve a "proper" relationship
-I'd probably like something inbetween
-Divorce is a tricky subject, but I guess that depends on how much she beats me up
-Why the hell not have same sex marriage? If they want to be as miserable as the rest of us, then all power to them

 

[Twilight_guy]

No, yes.

I'm cheap so I'd like a small inexpensive event but I'll do whatever my future wife wants to and grin and bear it.

Marriage should be taken seriously and only committed to when a couple is ready. Now not all marriages are guaranteed to work but too many were doomed to start with and rushed into.

The church says no so so do I. Sorry guys.

Marriage ceremonies are too long already can I have the TL;DR version and get some punch quicker?

 

[Irridium]

-No I am not. At the moment I don't intend to, but I'm still young, so things may change.
-It will be a quite ceremony.
-Not sure. Yes it should be an option, but only as a last resort.
-I see no reason why it shouldn't be possible.
-Other then "I like pie", no I do not.

 

[DefunctTheory]

-Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday?

No. I would like to get married, and have for sometime, but I doubt I ever will.

-Will it be/was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event?

Paperwork marriage. My parents told me that spending anything more than legal fees on a marriage is pointless. Better to spend it on a new bed/house.

-How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?

People take marriage too lightly, but you should be allowed to cease the marriage.

-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?

None of my business, one way or another.

-Anything else you might want to add.

Nope.

 

[Berserker119]

No, Not for a while.
Quite small.
Should be allowed, but not just for any reason.
Absolutely

 

[Stasisesque]

-Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday?
-Will it be/was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event?
-How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?
-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?
-Anything else you might want to add.

- I am not married, don't intend to marry - I hope one day I can feel secure enough to want to.
- No idea, I can't pretend I haven't thought once or twice about what my wedding day might be like, but I've not spent any time detailing it. I've never liked being centre of attention though, so I imagine a small ceremony with close friends and family and just a relaxed party atmosphere.
- Very much pro divorce, I don't think it affects people taking marriage too lightly - after all, weddings cost an absolute fortune. Divorce should be allowed in the same way buying and selling homes is.
- Absolutely should be possible. Though I must admit the "civil partnership isn't the saaaaame" argument annoys me slightly - if you have the same rights, why should the term matter?
- I'm pro-prenup agreements. It saves drama at the point of divorce (should it come to that), and is not a sign you do not love your intended, but that you care about them whether or not you stay together forever and ever.

 

[Julianking93]

Honestly, I don't believe in marriage.
I believe in love, commmitement and just being happy with one person and all, but not marriage.
It's a fake symbol of love and serves no purpose than to just show to the world you like someone and for financial security.

But still, I dont' argue people shouldn't be married. If that's what they want, fine. But not for me.

 

[GeorgW]

-Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday?
-Will it be/was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event?
-How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?
-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?

No, definitely.
No idea, probably a middle ground.
Yes, yes.
Definitely.

Now I just have to find someone to marry. Good luck...

 

[megaraccoon]

-No I'm not married and I don't intend to be any time soon. I am not opposed to the idea but it is certainly not one of my goals. I also don't like what marriage represents in certain societies.

like what? out of interest, also:
1.would like to someday
2.thats a joint decision between me and my partner whoever he/she maybe
3.shouldn't get married unless you're commited however i do believe people have the right to do as they wish with there relationship
4.yes
and nothing to add

 

[Legion]

-Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday?

No, and I have no "plan" of getting married, but if I met someone who would want to marry me and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them then I probably would.

-Will it be/was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event?

Hypothetically (no plans remember), I'd want it to be somewhere memorable, but I wouldn't want loads of people there. Hell, I'd probably prefer it to be just me and the bride.


-How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?

Yes, people frequently think too little about the commitment, but more importantly, the compatibility they have with their partner.


-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?

It should be considered equal to straight marriage as far as the law is concerned. Although I don't think homosexuals should expect to be allowed a religious marriage if that religion is against homosexuality (and why would you want to anyway?). For some reason some do anyway. I hope I don't offend any one with this comparison but it's like a black person wanting to join the Ku Klux Klan.

-Anything else you might want to add.

I have nothing against marriage, I just am a little cynical about it.

For starters it doesn't mean much any more. "In the old days" people would live at home until they got married and then they'd have find a home together. Nowadays you get people who live together and have children for years beforehand; if you are that committed to each other already then why do you need marriage? What does it prove/mean?

 

[bak00777]

-I am not married, but i would like to be someday
-Probably a medium size wedding, with a medium size reception(except i do have a lot of family on my dad's side, and i might have to invite them all, idk.)
-I do think people take marriage to lightly, but if things rly arn't working out, then they should seek a councilar first, and if all else fails, divorce may be the answer.
-Im all for domestic partnerships, but i think marriage should be between men and women only

 

[Kirkby]

-Not yet but i intend too one day, when im well into my twenties

-Im not sure yet, one thing i guarantee is that im not going to invite people just because i think i should, only people i like will be there

-Yes people do take Marriage far too lightly! I know 3 people who are getting married under the age of 20! Thats far too young to know who you want to spend the rest of ur life with! However people should be free to divorce when they want

-Course it should be possible, i may not understand why people choose to be gay but why should that stop them from being happy? Everyone should have the right to be with who they love

- Future topic for anyone else what do u guys think of savin ur self for marriage? I think its a bit silly, sometimes people end up marrying just so they can get too it

 

[Woodsey]

-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?

It should be considered equal to straight marriage as far as the law is concerned. Although I don't think homosexuals should expect to be allowed a religious marriage if that religion is against homosexuality (and why would you want to anyway?). For some reason some do anyway.

Surprising as it may be, given how transparent and unified religions are, some of them are a little murky when it comes to the mano-a-mano rules - you can get gays/lesbians who are a part of religions that may also condemn them at times.

But in law, of course they should be equal. It's actually embarrassing that it hasn't been rectified yet and a civil partnership is seen as equality. Alright, it's essentially the same thing, but the fact that you're calling it something different to marriage says it all.

-Im all for domestic partnerships, but i think marriage should be between men and women only

Why?

 

[-Drifter-]

I'm a little unsure about the concept of marriage. Divorce, especially in North America, seem to be becoming more and more common, leading one to wonder if perhaps it simply isn't compatible with our culture. If two people really wants to get married, so be it, but there shouldn't be any pressure to do so.

 

[Lieju]

Well, yes, some day I'd like to get married. But not any time soon, seeing how you'd have to get a girl-friend first for it.

For me, it would be more of a legal matter, and seeing how private I am, moving together would be much bigger deal.

 

[AmayaOnnaOtaku]

-Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday? I was married before and I would remarry if I found the right person.

-Will it be/was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event? Quiet ceremony outdoors. I never saw plunking down 30k+ for one day.

-How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?
There are 3 reasons divorce is permitted. Adultery, Abuse, and Addiction.

-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not? IF 2 people who love each other want to be married, gender should not matter.

-Anything else you might want to add. If you are any bit unsure of getting married to a person, DON'T. It is easier to postpone a wedding than to deal with divorce

 

[Legion]

-Course it should be possible, i may not understand why people choose to be gay but why should that stop them from being happy? Everyone should have the right to be with who they love

While I am pleased about the open mindedness, I should point out that no sexuality is a choice.

 

[Scarim Coral]

-No but I would like to be some point in the future.
-Since my last two wedding (my uncles) I attended was in town hall, I want my to be at least better then that. I don't want it to be big and grand, just a simple church would do.
-Depends on what cause it like if it is my fault or hers. I would like to think I can at least try to mend it (unless I somehow stop loving her).
-Sure, I don't see the problem with it.