Ever been in love?

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Arkhangelsk

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Mar 1, 2009
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I've had some major crushes, but I don't think I've ever been "in love". It's a hard-to-define term for those who aren't 100% sure that they've been there. I have no idea how being in love feels. At least I don think so. I hope for it one day. And I hope it will be returned.
 

Bobkat1252

The Psychotic Psyker
Mar 18, 2008
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I have been and currently am happily in love wth a wonderful girl. Sure we've had our ups and downs, but its totally worth it, I've never been happier. They're's just something special about knowing that someone in the world cares about you because you're you.
 

Housebroken Lunatic

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Ciambawildcat said:
So why not just accept the fact that we don't really know, and enjoy the lives we have?
Because it won't lead to any progress in thinking.

While im all for accepting what we don't know I consider it almost sinful to be content with not knowing.
 

NintenTim64

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May 22, 2009
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I find love a confusing emotion to define and understand, but nevertheless I believe myself to be in love
 

TriGGeR_HaPPy

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May 22, 2008
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Yes. Yes I am.
I mean, have been...
...
And am...
But meh, she's waaay outta my league...

Anyway, yea. To answer your question, yes.
:p
 

Ciambawildcat

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Sep 16, 2009
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Housebroken Lunatic said:
Ciambawildcat said:
So why not just accept the fact that we don't really know, and enjoy the lives we have?
Because it won't lead to any progress in thinking.

While im all for accepting what we don't know I consider it almost sinful to be content with not knowing.
A valid point.

I guess what I really mean is that I don't like it when people view the world solely as cold hard facts. It is good to explore the world around you, to try and gleam information from your discoveries, to put thought into trying to understand things, and to learn from the thoughts of others. However, sometimes people seem to lose the sense of mystery in this big old expansive universe. I think some people don't think about why we are probing everything with science. They just digest facts and regurgitate them.

I guess I just enjoy philosophical discussion, rather than true and false arguments. Some people assume that everything they learn in school is proven. We are constantly discovering that we are wrong about things. Really a great deal of what we "know" about the world is just theory anyway.

So it's good to learn. I definitely agree with you. I just think that something as mysterious as love can't really be explained by scientific fact. It is a realm more for feeling than thinking (though they both have their place).

I really only meant that statement in the context of love.
 

Housebroken Lunatic

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Ciambawildcat said:
A valid point.

I guess what I really mean is that I don't like it when people view the world solely as cold hard facts. It is good to explore the world around you, to try and gleam information from your discoveries, to put thought into trying to understand things, and to learn from the thoughts of others. However, sometimes people seem to lose the sense of mystery in this big old expansive universe. I think some people don't think about why we are probing everything with science. They just digest facts and regurgitate them.

I guess I just enjoy philosophical discussion, rather than true and false arguments. Some people assume that everything they learn in school is proven. We are constantly discovering that we are wrong about things. Really a great deal of what we "know" about the world is just theory anyway.

So it's good to learn. I definitely agree with you. I just think that something as mysterious as love can't really be explained by scientific fact. It is a realm more for feeling than thinking (though they both have their place).

I really only meant that statement in the context of love.
Yeah, but love can actually be described with cold hard facts regarding biochemical processes in the brain.

Like Al Pacino said in The Devil's Attorney: "Love... Chemically no different than eating large amounts of chocolate." which is true in some ways.

But that goes for pretty much all feelings. Everything we feel is brought on by a few set levels of different hormones in the brain and receptors taking up those hormones.

What we don't know however is the psychology behind feelings. In fact, psychology isn't really a valid science but more a collection of theories (most of them based on nothing at all other than Freudian musings). Which is why I have a severe distrust of psychology being applied as a practical science (which many societies have chosen to do for some strange and equally stupid reasons)

So while we might know exactly which hormones makes us feel in a certain way, no one can be really sure what brings these feelings or behaviours about.

In fact if you scanned the bloodvessel activity in the brain of a normal family man and compared the results with those of a homocidal psychopath their patterns could look indistinct from eachother (in fact one such test has been made and gave these results).

Some big fans of Darwin claim that all behaviour and all feelings are a result of natural evolution. This is also just a theory and an invalid one as well. Since humans engage in a wide variety of behaviours which makes no evolutionary sense at all. (like homosexuality or suicide)

And when you point out these things, the only possible explaination they come up with is that such people are "sick" or "abnormal" in some way. And frankly I find that response to be tainted with a severe degree of hubris, because it implies that this person has an understanding of nature and nature's "intentions" with life.

Nature is just a force, brought on by an uncountable number cause and effect scenarios, in a chain so vast the human mind simply can't comprehend it, so we have just invented a term for it called "random chance". In reality, nothing happens due to random chance. Everything has a cause and every cause results in some sort of effect.

And if we can't even begin to hope understanding the infinite chain of cause and effect, how coul anyone hope to understand nature? How could anyone claim what is really "natural" and "unnatural"?

We can't. It's impossible. We can observe nature and draw our own conclusions (becaue it's the only way for humans to actually grasp their surroundings), but we can never be sure of any real intention or "correct way" for anything really.

Hehe, how's that for philosophical and scientific musings? : )
 

vampirekid.13

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May 8, 2009
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gof22 said:
vampirekid.13 said:
not much room for discussion here.

yes i have been in love. i still am. i really love the person. she really hates me. kinda hurts knowing that i would still give my life for her while she wont even say hi to me. :(
May I ask as to why she hates you?
because i joined the navy.

because i left the state.

because after a year i realized she'd be happier w/o me since im gone.

because i broke up with her hoping she'd get someone that can make her happier than i can since im gone.

because...i wanted whats best for HER and she disagreed. even tho she'd tell me everyday how it sucks that im gone and how she has no one to hang w/ and so on.

...
 

dalek sec

Leader of the Cult of Skaro
Jul 20, 2008
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Yes but now I'm a bitter and hateful little creature when it comes to love.
 

superbleeder12

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Oct 13, 2007
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aside from the occasional crush and "she's hot" or "I'd like to get to know her" no.

I'm an ugly, out of shape, nerd who still lives with his parents and works a crappy part time job. No girl wants that.

But to not be a total downer, I can't be with someone for more than like 3 days in a row. If I hang out with a friend about 4 days in a row, I want to strangle him/her. I am easily annoyed.
 

Kurokami

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Feb 23, 2009
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Stevanchez said:
Kurokami said:
Yep, I never went for it though and the girls different now so while I'm still protective of her its cause I feel strangely obliged though I kinda hate her at the same time.

Its not to make you suffer more, hell if it works then brilliant, but its still just a matter of time till the illusion fades and the faults become oh so clear.
Are you British?
Cause of the brilliant thing? Naw far from it, I just find people have an easier time relating that word to sarcasm so more often then not its better for me to use.
 

Housebroken Lunatic

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vampirekid.13 said:
because...i wanted whats best for HER and she disagreed. even tho she'd tell me everyday how it sucks that im gone and how she has no one to hang w/ and so on.
I can understand her in that regard.

Part of being in a relationship is being equals, and when one part has the nerve to try and decide what's best for the other one then that person has stepped over the line.

It's this kind of thinking that makes people hide the fact that they are cheating on their partner. Trying to excuse the lies by thinking:

-"Oh he/she would only be hurt if I came clean, it's best for him/her if I just keep quiet about it."

This sort of thinking really hasn't gotten anything to do with what's best for your partner but rather with what's best for yourself, or what's most convenient for you (like not having to confess your slip-ups to the person you love).

And the same goes for pretty much any situation. So don't try to excue anything you do by saying that you're just doing "what's best" for your partner in the future. Your partner is supposed to be an equal, someone treated with respect and someone considered being able to decide for themselves what's best for them and what isn't.

If you can't see a partner as an equal then your relationship will go straight to hell at one juncture or another. Plus it's a pretty lousy and condescending way of motivating your actions...
 

riskroWe

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May 12, 2009
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Love is knowing someone who you never run out of interesting things to talk about with, who also has the added bonus of falling into your preferred sexual category.
So no, never.
 

vampirekid.13

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May 8, 2009
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riskroWe said:
Love is knowing someone who you never run out of interesting things to talk about with, who also has the added bonus of falling into your preferred sexual category.
So no, never.
thats not quite right, i mean you must be still pretty young, or never have been in a long lasting relationship, but either way never is a very long time. if you really expect to find someone with which you will NEVER run out of things to talk about you will be dissapointed.


i was in a 5 year long relationship and we ran out of things to talk to. but we still loved eachother. it happens that there is nothing to talk about after 3-4 years. but thats not really important, and how you handle that is the deciding factor of a good/bad marriage.
 

vampirekid.13

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May 8, 2009
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Housebroken Lunatic said:
vampirekid.13 said:
because...i wanted whats best for HER and she disagreed. even tho she'd tell me everyday how it sucks that im gone and how she has no one to hang w/ and so on.
I can understand her in that regard.

Part of being in a relationship is being equals, and when one part has the nerve to try and decide what's best for the other one then that person has stepped over the line.

It's this kind of thinking that makes people hide the fact that they are cheating on their partner. Trying to excuse the lies by thinking:

-"Oh he/she would only be hurt if I came clean, it's best for him/her if I just keep quiet about it."

This sort of thinking really hasn't gotten anything to do with what's best for your partner but rather with what's best for yourself, or what's most convenient for you (like not having to confess your slip-ups to the person you love).

And the same goes for pretty much any situation. So don't try to excue anything you do by saying that you're just doing "what's best" for your partner in the future. Your partner is supposed to be an equal, someone treated with respect and someone considered being able to decide for themselves what's best for them and what isn't.

If you can't see a partner as an equal then your relationship will go straight to hell at one juncture or another. Plus it's a pretty lousy and condescending way of motivating your actions...
meh, you know a fraction of the story and yet question my decisions in the big can of worms that became the last 5 years of my life. fun.

you dont know my ex, you dont know me, you dont know how our relationship was going, and you are not here nor there to decide what is best for her, me or us. In the end you cant make an accurate assessment of the situation. because i can tell you she had a history of making the WRONG decisions simply to avoid conflict. which is what a break up is.

that changes things a bit doesnt it?
 

Housebroken Lunatic

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vampirekid.13 said:
meh, you know a fraction of the story and yet question my decisions in the big can of worms that became the last 5 years of my life. fun.

you dont know my ex, you dont know me, you dont know how our relationship was going, and you are not here nor there to decide what is best for her, me or us. In the end you cant make an accurate assessment of the situation. because i can tell you she had a history of making the WRONG decisions simply to avoid conflict. which is what a break up is.

that changes things a bit doesnt it?
I did say:

If you can't see a partner as an equal then your relationship will go straight to hell at one juncture or another.

So no, it doesn't change things, my argument still stands. Take it into consideration with the next girl instead of taking what I've said as a personal insult. Don't get involved with girls which you don't consider your equal (i.e your ex, since your opinion of her seem quite low or at least low enough for you to believe being able to decide what's best for her, which is low enough). And when you've succeeded in finding a girl you DO consider your equal, don't take it upon yourself to decide what's best for her or try to fool her by saying you only acted in her best interests.

This goes for any relationship, including yours...
 

Tonimata

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Jul 21, 2008
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Yes, with a classmate, and it didn't turn out well. Wasted about 2 years of my life staring at those beautiful eyes, and won't regret a thing