Explain Why You are the Sexiest User!

[Lt._nefarious]

So, good Escapists, I come to you with a question. Why are YOU the sexiest user on the Escapist? Yes you! Tell us, or show us if you're feeling confident. And don't worry, everyone's a winner!

Why am I the sexiest? Well...

Spoiler: Sexiness!

I think my hair speaks for it's self... Also the fact I am surrounded by gals who are all, as far as you know, attracted to me and don't have boyfriends!

Also be sure to join our FascFuncist Agenda at http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/Escapist-United-Nations-of-Pure-Fun

 

[Terratina.]

I'm the sexiest.

Why?

Look at that smexy avatar of mine. That's reason enough.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I'm sexy because I come in 2 forms.

Spoiler: Unshaven

Spoiler: Shaven

Much to everyone's disappointment, there isn't really that much of a difference between the two.

[HEADING=1]STILL THE SEXIEST![/HEADING]

[HEADING=1]SEXY AND ALSO DISAPPOINTING![/HEADING]

 

[Colour Scientist]

I'm sexy because I come in 2 forms.

Spoiler: Unshaven

Spoiler: Shaven

Much to everyone's disappointment, there isn't really that much of a difference between the two.

[HEADING=1]STILL THE SEXIEST![/HEADING]

I had to properly look at those photos to notice the difference.
I thought for a second that you had just posted two identical ones to mess with people.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I'm sexy because I come in 2 forms.

Spoiler: Unshaven

Spoiler: Shaven

Much to everyone's disappointment, there isn't really that much of a difference between the two.

[HEADING=1]STILL THE SEXIEST![/HEADING]

I had to properly look at those photos to notice the difference.
I thought for a second that you had just posted two identical ones to mess with people.

And that is why I am the sexiest.

Both my forms are sexy in equal measure, so sexy that the brain can not make a comparable judgement.

 

[The Funslinger]

I'm sexy because I come in 2 forms.

Asian and slightly more Asian?

I'm the sexiest user because I have a cowboy hat.

Spoiler

I also have an awesome leather jacket, but currently lack a decent picture for it.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I'm sexy because I come in 2 forms.

Asian and slightly more Asian?

I'm the sexiest user because I have a cowboy hat.

Spoiler

I also have an awesome leather jacket, but currently lack a decent picture for it.

Hey, I'll have you know that some people pay top dollar for that kind of look.

Probably...

 

[Colour Scientist]

I'm sexy because I come in 2 forms.

Asian and slightly more Asian?

I'm the sexiest user because I have a cowboy hat.

Spoiler

I also have an awesome leather jacket, but currently lack a decent picture for it.

The guy behind you has no hands!

 

[IndomitableSam]

Does saying "I'm a librarian" work? Because it usually works. Guys have this weird mental image of librarians. It's very, very wrong, though. We don't like climbing ladders in heels. Most like to knit. Me? I hunch over my desk like a vulture while I read this site. I wear makeup to hide my dark circles. None of the other women here do and somehow take pride in shabby clothes and frizzy hair. Except maybe the head, and she's in her 50's.

I'm sure I'm pretty sexy right now, all extra-hunched over as it's the end of the day, my makeup is smeared from sweating, and my back is still recovering from tweaking it a while back and yoga at lunch.

... I do pass a bell tower on my way home. I may have to stop today.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Does saying "I'm a librarian" work? Because it usually works. Guys have this weird mental image of librarians. It's very, very wrong, though. We don't like climbing ladders in heels. Most like to knit. Me? I hunch over my desk like a vulture while I read this site. I wear makeup to hide my dark circles. None of the other women here do and somehow take pride in shabby clothes and frizzy hair. Except maybe the head, and she's in her 50's.

I'm sure I'm pretty sexy right now, all extra-hunched over as it's the end of the day, my makeup is smeared from sweating, and my back is still recovering from tweaking it a while back and yoga at lunch.

... I do pass a bell tower on my way home. I may have to stop today.

Pictured: Librarian.

...

Probably.

[sub]Totally.[/sub]

 

[ScrabbitRabbit]

I'm sexy because I come in 2 forms.

Spoiler: Unshaven

Spoiler: Shaven

Oh God, haven't you heard the warnings from our bearded overlords? You've just put yourself in grave danger!

There once was a man...
And that man... had a beard
He shaaaved off his beard and now he's DEAD!

Don't die on us, Daystar!


OT: I am the sexiest user because I have both breasts AND a penis! Best of both worlds, motherfuckers!

 

[IndomitableSam]

Pictured: Librarian.

...

Probably.

[sub]Totally.[/sub]

For some reason I can't stop watching her.

[sub]Librarian Porn?... no... never heard of it... /cough[/sub]

 

[Daystar Clarion]

snip

snoo

My versions are like Pokemon games.

Very minute and hardly worth mentioning.

 

[DefunctTheory]

Spoiler: I'm obviously the sexiest

Nothing says sexy like a large filter canister, if you know what I mean.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Halt this redolent nonsense. I have a suit, and that's 90% of the work.

 

[The Funslinger]

I'm sexy because I come in 2 forms.

Asian and slightly more Asian?

I'm the sexiest user because I have a cowboy hat.

Spoiler

I also have an awesome leather jacket, but currently lack a decent picture for it.

The guy behind you has no hands!

That's just Slenderman's Casual Friday attire.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I'm sexy because I come in 2 forms.

Asian and slightly more Asian?

I'm the sexiest user because I have a cowboy hat.

Spoiler

I also have an awesome leather jacket, but currently lack a decent picture for it.

The guy behind you has no hands!

That's just Slenderman's Casual Friday attire.

Slenderman's about to get a Costa?

 

[EeveeElectro]

Spoiler

It's okay, you can all stop posting now, I've won.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Spoiler

It's okay, you can all stop posting now, I've won.

Bonus Gromit in the background!

 

[Colour Scientist]

Spoiler

It's okay, you can all stop posting now, I've won.

Spoiler: Not so fast!

Aw, yiss!

How's that for sexy?