Explain your Situation
- Thread starter Sexy Street
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*Cracks knuckles* alright here goes:
I woke up with a headache to rival any St. Patrick's Day hangover. The first thing I focused on was a cheap digital clock, bright red numbers informing me it was 10:30. PM. Christ, what had I done this time? The rest of the room slowly came into focus--a broken bed in the corner along with what looked like four dead chickens. I passed over that for the moment and concentrated on the room itself. Dank and dirty, it smelled like spilled beer left to spoil. The wallpaper was faded and peeling and there was mold around the trim. Cheap motel? No. It felt like part of a larger house rather than a self-contained room.
I looked to my right and sighed. "Lewis," I said, "What the fuck am I doing here?"
The walrus harrumphed, whiskers fluttering like an irritated mustache. "You know I can't control you when you get like this," he said, his tone appeasing, but I could hear the underscoring of glee in his words. It had obviously been a good night.
I scowled at him. "You're the one who makes me like this." Though why the darker aspects of my personality took on the form of a walrus was beyond me. Probably has something to do with that incident at Sea World...but we don't talk about that. I looked back at the bloodstained corner and frowned.
"Chickens, Lewis?" I said, "Why chickens?"
He laughed. "After the two in the city you started babbling about a colonel and buckets. But the building you went to was closed which did nothing for your mood...well you know how you get."
"Yes," I said, "but how did I get here, with four dead chickens?"
"Oh, well you declared that you were having chicken so help you god, and so you hitched out to the country and found the nearest farm."
I closed my eyes, rubbing my temples, "And so I killed them...with what?" I opened my eyes and saw the club. "A golf club? Really? And where did the club come from?" Lewis didn't answer, instead staring out a window to my left. I followed his gaze and found my head tilting in confusion.
"Lewis."
"Yes?"
"Is that man on fire?"
"Indeed he is."
I stood up and stretched and felt the familiar chill settle over my skin. The headache melted away and I smiled. I picked up the golf club. "And this belongs to him?" I asked, dipping my head toward the screaming man outside.
"Indeed it does."
I swung the club experimentally, pleased with hiss it made as it cut through the air. "Well," I said, "I should go return it to him, shouldn't I?" And I laughed as I jumped through the dilapidated window. After all, it was only 10:30...
I looked to my right and sighed. "Lewis," I said, "What the fuck am I doing here?"
The walrus harrumphed, whiskers fluttering like an irritated mustache. "You know I can't control you when you get like this," he said, his tone appeasing, but I could hear the underscoring of glee in his words. It had obviously been a good night.
I scowled at him. "You're the one who makes me like this." Though why the darker aspects of my personality took on the form of a walrus was beyond me. Probably has something to do with that incident at Sea World...but we don't talk about that. I looked back at the bloodstained corner and frowned.
"Chickens, Lewis?" I said, "Why chickens?"
He laughed. "After the two in the city you started babbling about a colonel and buckets. But the building you went to was closed which did nothing for your mood...well you know how you get."
"Yes," I said, "but how did I get here, with four dead chickens?"
"Oh, well you declared that you were having chicken so help you god, and so you hitched out to the country and found the nearest farm."
I closed my eyes, rubbing my temples, "And so I killed them...with what?" I opened my eyes and saw the club. "A golf club? Really? And where did the club come from?" Lewis didn't answer, instead staring out a window to my left. I followed his gaze and found my head tilting in confusion.
"Lewis."
"Yes?"
"Is that man on fire?"
"Indeed he is."
I stood up and stretched and felt the familiar chill settle over my skin. The headache melted away and I smiled. I picked up the golf club. "And this belongs to him?" I asked, dipping my head toward the screaming man outside.
"Indeed it does."
I swung the club experimentally, pleased with hiss it made as it cut through the air. "Well," I said, "I should go return it to him, shouldn't I?" And I laughed as I jumped through the dilapidated window. After all, it was only 10:30...
Apparently, someone tried to feed the walrus but burned himself by accident. The walrus couldn't take the heat anymore and started to kill the chickens and eat them. But it needed to hide because the cops are coming.
Well, my crazy ritual worked. That guy I despised is now burning for all eternity, and he isn't allowed to die. Prometheus feels somewhat sympathetic to him. But the guy was a douche and deserved it >.>
exactly why I need the two extra chickens to summon a fish to feed him - finally someone else who understands my problems!CarpathianMuffin said:
You would be right if my situation was an orgy with a sparkly vampire and 4 wolves and me being an emotionally dead emo girl, but it isn't and I'd sooner burn Twilight than write it (although I think I could make the books good if I wrote it)Paksenarrion said:
I did an all nighter, passed out midday in my room and woke up at 10:30.
The golf club is the result of a drunken trip to a nearby chicken farm and the whale in a top hat is the result of a rather successful night on the claw games.
The man outside is a gang leader. Owns some hooligans called the saints. He'll never get far.
The golf club is the result of a drunken trip to a nearby chicken farm and the whale in a top hat is the result of a rather successful night on the claw games.
The man outside is a gang leader. Owns some hooligans called the saints. He'll never get far.
I hate writing in first person perspective so bear with third person.Sexy Street said:
Slowly she reached to her pocket, pulling out a single cigarette, rolling it between her fingers as she turned her head towards the large walrus in a top hat "You see Mr. Flockenbaum. You see for your own eyes what they are capable of". She lit the cigarette, strands of grey smoke floated up towards the celling, forming abstract shapes before vanishing in the air "They aren't joking Mr. Flockenbaum. You of all should realize it by now" her eyes were fixed on the walrus, drilling into his skull with her cold stare before she approached the dead chickens, picking one up and shaking it's cadaver right in front of the large, sweating marine mammal "Look what they did to poor Henry! To Rodriguez, Skippy and Martha! They were all so young, so innocent, so full of joy! And now? Now they've met their terrible, terrible end, all because of your incompetence Mr. Flockenbaum". The woman's head turned towards the window, for a brief moment she followed the desperate, chaotic motions of the burning man running in circles around outside before he fell down, shivering in his final moments as last bits of life abandoned his body. "You could have stopped it Mr.Flockenbaum" she sighed clenching her fist around the neck of dead Henry The Chicken, squirting even more blood all over the floor "But now... Now it's too late. It's 10:30" The walrus made a step back, shaking frightened more by the odd female's words than by the macabre scene "It's past your bedtime Mr. Flockenbaum" she ended throwing the cigarette bud on the floor as she walked out, leaving him only with his golf club for the night.
You've got a point there. A fancy hat-wearing ex-boyfriend walrus is better character development than a sparkly cardboard cutout.KefkaCultist said: