Bought Dead Island. Played it sporadically for a week while not at college or anything. Spent a long time meticulously playing through the first act, liking the visceral first-person melee and interesting, beautiful locations of the resort.
Reach Act 2. Get bogged down in generic ruined cityscape and sprawling sewers. Notice that all indoor sections, such as the massively copy-pasted and thorougly confusing sewers levels don't appear on the pause menu's map. Notice that the mini-map's pathfinding is awful, frequently directing me through impassible obstacles or even in the straight up wrong direction. Disheartened.
Continue Act 2. Find myself being put through multiple missions where I'm made to fight looters instead of zombies. Notice that looters have guns and break the melee-oriented flow horribly. Steal gun. Notice that guns physics are awful and that all pistols jerk uncontrollably when iron-sighted, meaning I have to use a revolver with vastly inferior stats. Get killed lots as a result.
Find self sick of fighting looters over and over again, tired of same 3 character models coming at me for missions on end. Finally reach zombie portion, get excited. Zombie shambles up to me, moaning and hunchbacked. Zombie stops about 10 yards away, suddely straightens up and produces a machete. Zombie throws machete at me, a moving target, with ninja-like accuracy. Get insta-killed by flying machete. Much rage ensues.
Reach Act 3. Notice that pathfinding in jungle levels is even worse, and that going off the path in this "open-world" game leads very quickly to being coralled by invisible walls. Grudgingly stick to linear path. Hardly any zombies in the jungle. Not pleased. Hardly any looters either. Wonder if this is good sign, portent of impending return to melee combat against zombies. Cross fingers.
Continue main quest. Have to fight more humans. Notice they aren't pistol wielding looters. Intrigued. Notice that they're guerrilla fighters with molotovs, AK47s and shotguns. Notice that there's now about 1 zombie to every 10 of these guys. Rage.
Continue playing. Find self driving a jeep about the jungle in first person. Find inventory full of assault rifles instead of melee weapons. Notice that I'm repeatedly driving back and forth in slightly different coloured jeeps between copy-pasted villages and jungle outposts to kill generic guerrilla fighters who notice me coming miles away.
Wonder if I blacked out and someone switched the disc to Far Cry 2 when I wasn't looking.
Turn game off, don't play for several days. Complain about on internet. Fuck you, Dead Island.