Facepalm Moments

[The Apothecarry]

Teacher: "Ok, where is Asia?"
Dumb kid: -points to Africa-
Me: ...
Jesus, Americans are so terrible at geography. It's sad, really, when people in their second year of high school don't know their continents.

"Oh, war. It's just God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Jon Stewart

I remember a blond girl in my eighth grade history class:
Teacher: "Anyone ever been to Utah?"
Girl: "I have!"
Teacher "Where did you visit?"
Girl: "Wait, where did I go?" (Facepalm)

This same girl put a granola bar in the microwave (Double Palm) with the foil wrapper still on (Triple Palm). She also answered "Kentucky" for every question in Geography Jeopardy (Overpalm) and claimed she was allergic to the school's plastic chairs (Palmtacular).

I also ran into a player on Halo3 who bitched and moaned that he never got the sword. I took pity on the guy and gave it to him, and I watched run around with it while STARING AT THE FUCKING GROUND.

How dumb can you get?

Moments where I made myself facepalm?
-Anytime I say "Fucking A, *insert object*!", my friend will go "Why are having sex with that?" You'd think after the third time, I'd learn.
-Betrayal in Halo: Reach where I stuck a tank twice before realizing it was OURS.

 

[Feneture]

There was a girl in my geography class back in school who believed that you could walk to Egypt from England?!... Obviously she must've lived in a bubble and never heard of the ocean!!

 

[bassmanboe]

you mean in-your-endo?

 

[Palademon]

Bear in mind I'm English (and back in primary school... which was in London):

Teacher: Where's London? (gestures at blank template of the British Isles)
Student 1: (goes up to the front) *points at where Edinburgh would be*
Me: *blink* *blink*
Teacher: Nice try, but not quite. Who else?
Student 2: *points at where Liverpool would be*
Me: *blink* *blink* *sob*
Student 3: *points at where Cardiff would be*
Me: *wham* (that's headdesk to the rest of you)
Jonny (the kid who sat next to me): Why am I in the same class as these idiots?

That was exactly my response in my GCSE science classes, and my name is Jonny. English but never lived in London.

The groups were defined by your ability, so I was in the third highest group, the highest one that didn't do triple science. This was out of eight science groups I think. The girls in my class would ask during global warming revision "Is global warming a bad thing?" and "If we can't live on Earth anymore, can't we just move to Mars?"

 

[bassmanboe]

(woops, i screwed something up)

 

[Deadpool062]

Once in the middle of a World War 2 discussion a girl raised her hand and asked "Did Nazi's create Zombies? Cuz' I haven't heard much about that yet." She was completely serious, apparently someone convinced her though so not really the same.

 

[Thyunda]

There was a girl in my geography class back in school who believed that you could walk to Egypt from England?!... Obviously she must've lived in a bubble and never heard of the ocean!!

Perhaps the bubble let her walk on the ocean floor. Maybe she's not a geographically inept bimbo, but is in fact about to rewrite oceanic logistics as we know it.

 

[Squallie Greenthumb]

i brought this up in another thread but I didn't go into detail with it. I'm friends (both on FB and IRL) with a few goth models. One day one of them saw on the news that Russia had shot down a UFO and she posted a status saying "Russia has just doomed us all! They're fucking with a power that they couldn't even begin to understand! Aliens aren't coming to Earth to destroy us they're peaceful beings but if necessary they can destroy and entire planet. Thanks a lot Russia!"

Of course since she's a model she has an insane amount of FB friends. There were literally 214 comments of people being like "OMG! What are we gonna do?" and "I hope the Aliens know it was just the Russians and not Americans so maybe they'll leave us alone."

When I told her that UFO means just what it stands for and not necessarily and alien spacecraft she said "No Squall, you just don't get it! We're fucked! We're all fucked! And when the Aliens destroy our planet I hope you realize how wrong you are!" Of course after all of this when the whole rapture thing was going on she said that the world wasn't gonna end just because it was christians saying it instead of her. I jokingly asked her what if that was when the aliens were gonna come and she told me it obviously wasn't because the aliens are too smart to talk to christians.

It just goes to show you that no matter what type of model they are they're all just morons.

 

[Thyunda]

she told me it obviously wasn't because the aliens are too smart to talk to christians.

It just goes to show you that no matter what type of model they are they're all just morons.

I dunno, dude, that's some pretty serious logic going on there.

 

[twaddle]

My life is just one giant facepalm moment

 

[floppylobster]

I do it whenever anyone posts one of those Picard pictures in a forum because they misread or misinterpreted the argument that someone was trying to make.

 

[LiberalSquirrel]

I feel like my avatar is particularly suited to this thread.

OT: Whenever the slightly-psychotic Christian fundamentalist preachers come out on my college campus. I found it particularly funny/facepalm-worthy when I was walking past one just as they were saying, "And even here, in this college, are the greatest threats to true Christians... atheists."

 

[JokerCrowe]

Someone asked a girl in my junior high class what her IQ was. (Everyone thought she was kinda stupid) Her answer: "3000".

*mental faceplam*

 

[spartan231490]

How about the girl who was bitten by a bat at church. Her parents say: oh it looks ok, just clean it out when we get home. A few weeks later, she gets violently ill, and the doctors can't figure out what's wrong with her. Finally, a friend visiting her at the hospital asks the doctor: Oh, you don't think this could have anything to do with that bat that bit her a few weeks ago? None of her family, or friends, or fellow church-goers were aware that bats could give you rabies.(I mean, how do you not know that, really?) It was too late for traditional treatment. The saved her life by putting her in a chemically induced coma that she came out of after like 6 months, and now she needs months more physical therapy to regain muscle mass that she lost in the coma and while she was sick.

 

[Discon]

There was a girl in my geography class back in school who believed that you could walk to Egypt from England?!... Obviously she must've lived in a bubble and never heard of the ocean!!

What are you on about? It is technically possible to walk from England to Egypt. All you have to do is walk through the tunnel under the canal. Not feasible or safe, but definetely POSSIBLE.

 

[Artina89]

"Why don't you go to church?"
"Because I'm not religious."
"But many non-religious people go to church to!"
"...Why?"
"Because they want to be salvaged by GOD, OF COURSE!"
...Yeah.

My mum's vicar to my atheist dad: 'There are no sinners in my church.'
my dad: Isn't that like taking your car to the garage when it doesn't need fixed.
my mum: *MORTIFIED*

lol

Your dad sounds awesome! That was really funny.

OT: A friend of my dad's came over to drink some beers and play videogames. My dad was playing Resident Evil 2 and my dad's friend, who had watched the entire thing from the opening title screen up until the point Mr.X makes his first appearance and said. "This is Silent Hill isn't it?" my dad didn't facepalm, but he smacked his friend across the back of the head.

Another one was when my grandfather called us late one night asking what "Araf" meant. My dad works with a welshman and said it means "slow" (or something similar) why? Turned out my grandad had lost his way between Manchester and Leeds and ended up in Wales. To this day we don't know how he managed to achieve it.

 

[CptDan314]

My nephew after studying the Titanic at school for a week asks his mum if he can see the movie.
'I don't know whether you would like it hun, it has a really sad ending'
'Why Mum? What Happens?'

*facepalm*

I had a couple of chicks in my class who were shocked and surprised to find out that the Titanic wasn't just a movie. They also were confused that buffalo wings weren't the wings off of a buffalo.

Overheard at a lunch table: "I'm pissed at my mom. I totaled my corvette, and they won't buy me a new one until tuesday."

And to top it all off, a classmate in my EMT-Basic course used the "Shake and Shout" (You shake the patient violently and scream at them.) to determine the level of consciousness... On an infant.

(No babies were harmed in the stories featured in this post.)

 

[secondcircle]

A girl in my psychology class asked who the Nazis were.

She was sixteen.

We had just finished watching Schindler's List.

 

[Magikarp]

-snip-

I think the point was that the idiot thought they were mutually exclusive.

OT: When I told a friend of mine that the Pope was visiting England, he replied "Is he the leader of the Catholics?"

It might not seem that bad, but the friend in question was a Catholic.

 

[Navvan]

Back in my high school chemistry course we were going over the alkali metals and upon learning of the violent reactions they undergo with water a classmate goes

"So if I drop a banana in water it will explode?"

Not why doesn't a bandana explode, but will the banana explode if put in water...

Biggest face-palm of my life