Fastest way to scare off a girl/guy

[hyperhammy]

"I once wrote a dirty fan fiction about *favorite anime here* and I made the main character look just like you"

 

[The_Emperor]

approach them naked, drooling and with a funny look in your eye

 

[sketch_zeppelin]

Ask them if they'd like to see, either:

A) Your Knives.

or

B) Your Mask.

either of these should instantly induce a "get me the fuck out of here" aditude.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

Either 'hey, lets get married, oh and by the way what's your name, nice to meet you!'

Or if you get as far as sex, then 'oh no, that's not a ribbed condom, that's my genital warts.'

 

[Decum]

Sadly, for me, its being myself.

 

[Queen Michael]

Go right up to her and scream, right in her face, "HITLER WAS RIGHT!" multiple times.

 

[dragonslayer32]

Cheesy chat up lines. They are the bomb. For example,
Me: are you an electrician?
Girl: no, why?
Me: well, you sent a shock racing through my body
Girl: pathetic *walks off laughing with friends*

 

[The_ModeRazor]

"Hey, I read War and Peace and liked it."
Noone will ever come close to you again.
Ever.

 

[MadeinHell]

Use a "one-liner".

 

[DoctorObviously]

I was frozen today.

 

[Queen Michael]

I was frozen today.

I think somebody has been watching the Nostalgia Critic.

Here's another way: Shout "HEIL HITLER!" To be more precise (and make it worse), shout it in the middle of conversations, no matter who's talking. Especially in the middle of your sentences.
"So I saw Avatar, and HEIL HITLER! I didn't expect it to be very good since HEIL HITLER! everybody said it's overrated HEIL HITLER! but it was great, a HEIL HITLER! wonderful..." You get the idea.

 

[hyperhammy]

I was frozen today.

I think somebody has been watching the Nostalgia Critic.

Here's another way: Shout "HEIL HITLER!" To be more precise (and make it worse), shout it in the middle of conversations, no matter who's talking. Especially in the middle of your sentences.
"So I saw Avatar, and HEIL HITLER! I didn't expect it to be very good since HEIL HITLER! everybody said it's overrated HEIL HITLER! but it was great, a HEIL HITLER! wonderful..." You get the idea.

Haha, looks like we have some nostalgia critic fans...
"You look horribafuckus (if that's how you spell it) in that!"

 

[Elburzito]

Mine would be:

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
I've got a knife,
Get in the van!

Can't remember where I heard that.

 

[Elburzito]

I was frozen today.

I think somebody has been watching the Nostalgia Critic.

Here's another way: Shout "HEIL HITLER!" To be more precise (and make it worse), shout it in the middle of conversations, no matter who's talking. Especially in the middle of your sentences.
"So I saw Avatar, and HEIL HITLER! I didn't expect it to be very good since HEIL HITLER! everybody said it's overrated HEIL HITLER! but it was great, a HEIL HITLER! wonderful..." You get the idea.

My friend did that with his Romanian girlfriend. She just laughed it off. I think she's used to that kind of thing from him and me, being eccentric history nerds and all.

 

[Redingold]

Hmm...

I've never needed any of these methods to scare off girls.

I wonder why?

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Shout "AWKWARD SILENCE!!!"
It works. Except if they start laughing.
Anyway, why would you want to scare off a girl? If she's really annoying just tell her to leave you alone, if not, why be a *****?

 

[RandyPants]

Show her your comic book collection and it's pride of place next to the life size figure of a stormtrooper.

Or y'know, tell her I Love You on the first date.

 

[StarStruckStrumpets]

"Me peepee is hungry."

If that one fails, start running around in circles, slapping your face, and shouting Pablo in the most sexual voice you can.

 

[Mechsoap]

as yatzhee said, begin to remove your trousers and moo while you slap your buttocks together

 

[silversnake4133]

Say in a really serious/calm voice. "You'll look wonderful stuffed and mounted on my wall." Then slowly smile.