Favorite Comeback

[Jaythulhu]

I prefer to develop them on the fly, preferably using the person's statements back on them. That said, a lot of people aren't worth a well thought out retort, or they're just too stupid to understand them. That's when I pull out one of the following:

Whilst everyone has something to bring to a conversation, the only thing you should bring from now on is silence

or

Sorry, you've mistaken me for someone who cares

and finally

Go get a big black dog up ya.

 

[lenneth]

one of my friends likes saying 'your face' as a comeback (if anyone can think of something i can say back please let me know)

So's your whole familys face

I'm sure there is some very clever meaning to that but, whatever it was, it went straight over my head.

No higher meaning here its just meant to be a lame immature comeback to a lame immature comeback

 

[DeadpanLunatic]

I have removed my words from this site.

 

[smallharmlesskitten]

One million sperm... and you were the fastest?

Your momma is so fat... I rolled over twice and i was still on the *****

 

[Graustein]

What if they take my book? I reach into my bag, pull out another, and continue as if nothing ever happened.

I love you.

 

[Vuzzmop]

Am I the only one who finds "your mum" come-backs to be both boring and childish?

 

[perfectimo]

Am I the only one who finds "your mum" come-backs to be both boring and childish?

Nope but that's the point nowadays. I don't have a favourite comeback, I will only use them in a pathetic way.

 

[Librarian Mike]

I always liked the one from Aliens, between Hudson (male) and Vasquez (female):

Hudson: Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

Vasquez: No. Have you?

 

[jimmy509]

Friend - "Dude, you're such a pussy."

Me - "You are what you eat."

 

[Avatar Roku]

I like my comeback to "your mum". You look teary eyed, stare at the floor and say in a shaky but blank voice, ".. My mum's dead." And just stare at the floor piling on the melancholy.

I once did that to a guy, he was almost shitting himself with apologies.

That's evil my friend. You are a horrible human being...well done!

Not so much a comeback, but something from Red Vs blue that was my first thought:
Tucker-I'm not preparing to do anything. 'cept get l-a-i-d.*long pause* laid.
Grif-Yeah, we can spell. We just think that was fucking weak.

On Facebook, a friend of mine's relationship status changed from "single" to "in a relationship." One of his other friends asked who "the lucky girl is". I responded "his hand."

 

[DeadpanLunatic]

I have removed my words from this site.

 

[Mindex]

LOlzer, i t0tly pwned you

message recieved from: Yousuckazz@rolfcopters.lolskaters.noob.l33t.pwned.lmaof.rofl.HAAHAHAHAHA

 

[haveyouseen_mywallet]

if someone says something of a smartass they always shut up when you say, "it's not my fault you have two dads," it usually embarasses them enough to shut up.

 

[Plastic14407]

I always liked the one from Aliens, between Hudson (male) and Vasquez (female):

Hudson: Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

Vasquez: No. Have you?

Yea i like that comeback another one of my favorite comebacks is i got this while reading my Calvin and Hobbes collection. Its kinda different from insult come back but here it is. Calvin:I've decided when i grow up im going to be a millionare. Dad:You'll have to work pretty hard to get that much money. Calvin:No I won't you will. Dad:Me? Calvin:I just want to inherit it!

 

[Hitman 43]

Me: "You know what I don't get?"
Friend: "Laid?"

Oh SNAP.

Funny.

 

[Scobie]

DELETED

 

[Nickolai77]

Another Churchill one-

Woman- "I will never vote for you even if you where the Angel of the Lord!"
Churchill- "Madam, if i were the Angel of the Lord, i would not be in your constituency."

He really does not get on with women...