Favorite Mass Effect 2 Quotes

[MiracleOfSound]

"Hey gunny, you've done something with the meals . . . almost like you've added more food and less ass."

Joker: "License to screw up, Commander--you heard it right from the ship!"

And although it's technically not a quote, Joker's mimicking of Legion really cracked me up.

I was just about to say that too, Joker's Legion impression made the game for me.

I couldn't stop laughing at that, hands down my favorite "Joker-moment"

That was so fucking funny...

Probably beats out Shale stepping on the chicken as my funniest game moment.

 

[Agayek]

As the title says, what are your favorite quotes from Mass Effect 2?

It is my belief that after playing this game, everyone will have at least one. The comedic value and writing of this game is golden!

Please put any quotes that may contain spoilers or plot elements in spoiler tags

My personal favorites so far (that I can remember):

"I am a biotic GOD!" - High Volus

"You're all racist!" - Turian at C-Sec Security

"A hospital. Not a good place to have a fight." -Garrus
"What IS a good place to have a fight?" - Mordin
"Garden... electronics store... antique shop, if it's classy." - Garrus

"That's right, Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest sonofabitch in space!" - Gunnery Chief

Shephard: Why did you use my armor to repair yourself?
Legion: There was a hole.

 

[Omikron009]

Spoiler: Joker Near The End Game Quote

Joker - Great. See, this is where it starts, and when we're all just organic batteries, guess who they'll blame? "This is all Joker's fault. What a tool he was. I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord."

Damn it! This was going to be mine! Let's see if I can think of anything else...

Anything Tali says during the romance segments with her. They're so adorably awkward. "I thought about bringing some music but I didn't know what you like and...I'm babbling like an idiot."

or, when during Tali's loyalty quest you ask admiral vas Qwib-Qwib about his name and she just facepalms and mumbles "Oh here we go."

 

[Shepard's Shadow]

I can't remember it exactly, but it happens if Legion is in your party when you go help Tali. You can intimidate the quarian that meets you, and Shepard says something like "If you don't let us in, I'll take off my mask and breathe germs all over this ship." It just sounds so immature when he says it.

I also loved Joker mocking Legion. It was hilarious, not a quote, but still.

 

[gxs]

I like Joker and EDI:

The part when Joker has an argument with EDI about "personalizing" his workspace and EDI replies that personalizing doesn't mean smearing grease over it's camera.

He fractured his thumb on the mute button. But he made a point.

 

[MintyNinja]

Shephard: You had a right not to follow your commands orders when they result in certain death.
Miranda: Well we'll have to remember that next Shephard orders us into near-cetain death.
Thane: Well that's about every 4 minutes!

Or if you have Garrus and Tali:
Garrus: "You mean we can disobey suicidal orders? Why wasn't I told?"
Tali: "Well that's about every 4 minutes!"

Garrus was one of my favorites for quotes.

 

[Omega NZ]

"So fuck you, and thanks for asking."

Jack is voiced so subtly and perfectly by Courtenay Taylor. She's the most likable ***** I've ever seen in a game.

edit: Wait, I lied. Mordin's singing is the best.

I also liked when she said "F**k your feelings!" somehow flirtously. It was really out of the blue, and can be applied to many real life situations if one were so inclined.

 

[soren7550]

Spoiler: Joker Near The End Game Quote

Joker - Great. See, this is where it starts, and when we're all just organic batteries, guess who they'll blame? "This is all Joker's fault. What a tool he was. I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord."

Damn it! This was going to be mine! Let's see if I can think of anything else...

Anything Tali says during the romance segments with her. They're so adorably awkward. "I thought about bringing some music but I didn't know what you like and...I'm babbling like an idiot."

or, when during Tali's loyalty quest you ask admiral vas Qwib-Qwib about his name and she just facepalms and mumbles "Oh here we go."

Oh man, I forgot about that part.

Tali: Remember Shepard, don't ask about his name.
Shep: Uh, alright.
Admiral dude: Hey there.
Shep: Yo, what's with the goofy name?
Tali:*facepalm* Oh god, here we go.
(not exact, but whatever.)

 

[Loop Stricken]

Legion: "Geth do not infiltrate."

C-Sec Officer: "Sir, you should leave your automated assistant at home, they're not allowed to travel anymore." (Or words to that effect)

Legion: "Geth do not intentionally infiltrate."

 

[Slaanax]

"I sprained my thumb on the mute button, but I think I got my point across." - Joker

i love how much he hates EDI

Towards the end they sounded like they were falling for each other a bit. You know those pilots really love their ships.

 

[JeanLuc761]

Shephard: You had a right not to follow your commands orders when they result in certain death.
Miranda: Well we'll have to remember that next Shephard orders us into near-cetain death.
Thane: Well that's about every 4 minutes!

Or if you have Garrus and Tali:
Garrus: "You mean we can disobey suicidal orders? Why wasn't I told?"
Tali: "Well that's about every 4 minutes!"

Garrus was one of my favorites for quotes.

I missed that conversation entirely. Where as it?

 

[lemby117]

Mirand:this is no time to fall in love.
Shepard: who said anything about love i just want to get you int hat bed.
Miranda: you ass

alternativey there is wrex's line in mass effect 1

Garus: Wrex you seem perfectly happy to kill krogan why I meen the krogan cant be more than one generation from extinction.
Wrex: the people we fight are working for saren or stupid the first is just buisnes the second is a favour to the universe.

 

[Spectrum_Prez]

"Hey gunny, you've done something with the meals . . . almost like you've added more food and less ass."

Joker: "License to screw up, Commander--you heard it right from the ship!"

And although it's technically not a quote, Joker's mimicking of Legion really cracked me up.

I was just about to say that too, Joker's Legion impression made the game for me.

In that video, see the look Shepard gives Joker to make him get back to work? That's exactly the look that Chuck's (you know, from the eponymous tv show) brother-in-law, Captain Awesome, uses to express disbelief, exasperation, and annoyance.

Personally, I loved the bit where the two engineers were chatting about Tali and she goes:
"I can hear you know"

as well as the whole

"I've known you for so long, I can't believe you said that. It must be because your father was a Batarian."
"My father was a perfectly capable care-giver!"

Eh, forgot how that one goes.

 

[Delock]

Most of the quotes already mentioned (especially the Garrus and Tali talking about suicidal missions bit), but the best is Garrus and Tali talking about the Citadel elevators.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cvY2eLi6fE&feature=related

 

[Ex_ery]

Garrus' discussion about sparring with a fellow scout female turian and "reach and flexibility"

hands down.

 

[Dorian6]

Elcor: Insincere endorsement: You have not experienced Shakespeare, until you have heard him through the voice of Elcor.

Mordin: I am the very model of a scientist Solarian
I've studied species Turian, Asari and Batarian.
I'm quite good at genetics as a subset of biology,
because I am an expert which I know is a tautology.
My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian.
I am the very model of a scientist Solarian!

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Enkindle this.

Excuse us human, private conversation (I love those two)

Should we get her a fish?
Don't fish die easily?
This is about the dying thing, isn't it? (An asari and another less long lived alien discuss buying a pet for their daughter)