favorite mass effect quote

[Spectrum_Prez]

Spoiler: Well, spoilers if you haven't played ME2.

"The council thought the first Hanar Spectre would play by the rules: 'This one has forgotten whether its heat sink is over capacity. It wonders if the criminal scum considers itself fortunate'."

[a href]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQFF5crvydg[/a]

And everything else you overhear on Illium. The bachelor party in Elysium with the exasperated Salarian, the Turian trying to chat up the oblivious Quarian in the same club, the Asari with the Batarian father and her friend, the Volus trying to buy a sex-suit or something from Serrice Technologies. Illium is completely full of win compared to the other main hubs in the game.

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

Mild spoilers ahead:

Spoiler: Funny Conversation

EDI: [says something along the lines of that she's using all of her resources to examine the Reaper IFF]

Joker: Yeah, so if she starts spouting off about being the "vanguard of our destruction," I got shotgun on the first lifeboat out of here.

Also:

Spoiler: Another

EDI: I enjoy seeing humans on their knees.

*Joker stares warily at EDI*

EDI: That was a joke.

And let's not forget Blasto [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQFF5crvydg] the first Hanar Spectre!

 

[tjarne]

"why do people always assume we enjoy putting ourselves in danger" Garrus, when asked to retrieve some data. I might not remember it correctly but its question I always ask my self when I play rpgs.

 

[HT_Black]

"I'm the very model of a scientist Salarian..."-Mordin

"I think you're taking the human-AI interface a little bit too far..."-Shepard

Also, because this isn't a spoken line, headbutting a Krogan chieftan gets honorable mention.

 

[Scizophrenic Llama]

Joker: "Jack and Miranda are having a little... disagreement. Could you get down there before somebody tears a bulkhead?"
Shepard: "I'll look into it."
Joker: "Take pictures."

Spoiler

After killing the Thresher Maw and returning to Tuchanka with Grunt...

EDI: Grunt has received several requests for breeding. Shepard has received one as well.
Grunt: Ha!

Joker: "Shhhhhhhhhhh!"
Shepard: "Joker?"
Joker: " Commander... I can tell... when... it's listening"
EDI: "I'm always listening"
Joker: "I KNOW!"


Garrus: "Hospitals are horrible places to fight."
Shapard: "Where do you like to fight?"
Garrus: "A garden, an electronics store, an antique store but it has to be classy."


Anything Joker says is pretty much gold. Seth Green ftw. "Uh, leather!"

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Spoiler: Well, spoilers if you haven't played ME2.

"The council thought the first Hanar Spectre would play by the rules: 'This one has forgotten whether its heat sink is over capacity. It wonders if the criminal scum considers itself fortunate'."

[a href]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQFF5crvydg[/a]

And everything else you overhear on Illium. The bachelor party in Elysium with the exasperated Salarian, the Turian trying to chat up the oblivious Quarian in the same club, the Asari with the Batarian father and her friend, the Volus trying to buy a sex-suit or something from Serrice Technologies. Illium is completely full of win compared to the other main hubs in the game.

I agree, all the little conversations and adds you pick up are pure gold.

Insincere endorsement. You have not experienced Shakespeare's Hamlet until you have heard it in Elcor.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

The Elcor performing Hamlet is also great.

Aw hell, ninjaed. I cracked up so badly when I heard that advertisement 3 minutes or so ago.

"Sincere endorsement: You have not experienced Shakespeare until you heard it from the voice of an elcor."

Good heavens this game is getting better every minute.

Edit:
Oh hell this is just too good:
Random turian: "You humans are all racists!" Oh the irony!

Wait till you get to the Asari planet... I'm not going to ruin anything for you but there are some really funny encounters.

Also... Miranda: 'Why is this lift taking so damn long'

 

[MiracleOfSound]

-Getting sollowed whole by a dragon wouldn't be fun. It wouldn't kill me but the process would be inpleasent and give passing a stone a whole new meaning"
-shale

I know it is a dragon age quote but its bioware and the best bioware quote i could remeber

Shale stepping on the chicken nearly made me fall of my chair...

 

[Z of the Na'vi]

Oh my this thread is old.....

MaxtheReaper is on the first page.

[small]...jerk[/small]

Anyways, *clears throat*

Wrex: "What about the Quarian?"

Tali: "My name is TALI!"

 

[TundraWolf]

My favorite exchanges are with Garrus, the best being when you go to recruit Tali.

When you come through the final door and the Colossus blasts at you, Garrus yells out: "Just like old times!" I nearly fell out of my chair from laughing so hard.

Also, the whole exchange with Garrus after you recruit him is awesome.

Garrus: "How bad does it look?"
Shepard: "It'll be fine after we slap on some paint. No one will be able to tell the difference."
Garrus: "Well, I suppose it's for the best. All the women were ignoring you and hitting on me."

Also, when trying to recruit Samara:

Shepard: "Your superiors are sending you to certain death for no good reason. You have a right to disobey."
Garrus: "We can disobey suicidal orders? Why wasn't I told?"
Thane: "That's about twice a day."

There are many more, but those were the three that I remembered the most.

 

[Xris]

"Don't piss in my ear and tell me it's raining"

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

Joker and Garrus have the best lines in ME2.

Joker: "It's like Garrus has finally worked that stick out of his butt and is now beating people to death with it."

I wish I could remember the exact dialogue but when you are facing J'adore and have Garrus on your team she is spouting something about killing all the Krogan clones for the common good, etc and Garrus goes "That's charming".

 

[Bullsquid]

"I was just thinking of how much you remind me of Santa Claus."

 

[Internet Kraken]

Guard:"As this is a high-security vessel, you must relinquish possession of your weapons."
Shepard:"I'll relinquish one bullet. Where do you want it?"

I'm beginning to see why people like playing as renegade Shepard.

 

[DustyDrB]

Can't quote it verbatim but Shepards speech to the Admiralty in defense of Tali was great. "Tali'Zorah vas Normandy"

 

[Adanos]

Big stupid jellyfish just beats them all.

 

[Bullsquid]

Guard:"As this is a high-security vessel, you must relinquish possession of your weapons."
Shepard:"I'll relinquish one bullet. Where do you want it?"

I'm beginning to see why people like playing as renegade Shepard.

I forgot about that one.

 

[SageRuffin]

"You're ability to grasp the obvious is inspiring."

"Somebody out there needs my boot up his ass".

Garrus: "Somebody's making a killing out there..."

And my all time favorite (I think it went like this, I can't remember the exact words)...

Turian counselor: Do you know how many generations it will take before the rachni overrun the galaxy?!
Shep: Uh... 3? No, 4!

Reminds me of one of my favorite lines from KotOR:

"Do you know how many Sith there are in Dreshdae?"
Jolee: "12... no wait, 13!"

 

[Hollock]

when Mordin sings to you and tells you about how all the ladies want a piece of him.

 

[Spiner909]

All these are from ME2.

"That means Albert Einstein is the most dangerous mother****** in this damn galaxy! Now Private, what is Nikolai Tesla's Third Law?" Random group of soldiers in the Citadel.

"Like I said, she had the flexibility...but I had the reach" Garrus in the main battery some time after rescuing him.

I know there's more. I'll find them.