Favorite Quotes

[RavingLibDem]

"If my religion be different from yours, strike me down. If my skin be different from yours, strike me down. If my beliefs be different from yours, strike me down. For whatever reason you may find, strike me down. Strike me down quickly and harshly, good sir, for as a Buddhist, I believe in reincarnation, and when I return, I assure you that it shall be as your son. As a baby, I will suck upon your wife's tit. As a child I shall embarass you at your parties. As a teenager, I shall get arrested and be written about in all the newspapers your friends read. As an adult, I shall take over the company you worked at and/or built up from scratch all your life, and place you in a retirement home. And, finally, when you are an old man, I shall have you euthenized. Strike me down once, good sir, so that I may strike you down a hundred-fold!"

-Myself.

A bit wordy for a high school yearbook?

If that was you then your jokes been stolen by a comedian I saw at a comic showcase at the Edinburgh Fringe... He used it to put down a heckler ^^

 

[falcon1985]

No battle plan survives first contact with the enemy.

 

[Superhyperactiveman]

"If my religion be different from yours, strike me down. If my skin be different from yours, strike me down. If my beliefs be different from yours, strike me down. For whatever reason you may find, strike me down. Strike me down quickly and harshly, good sir, for as a Buddhist, I believe in reincarnation, and when I return, I assure you that it shall be as your son. As a baby, I will suck upon your wife's tit. As a child I shall embarass you at your parties. As a teenager, I shall get arrested and be written about in all the newspapers your friends read. As an adult, I shall take over the company you worked at and/or built up from scratch all your life, and place you in a retirement home. And, finally, when you are an old man, I shall have you euthenized. Strike me down once, good sir, so that I may strike you down a hundred-fold!"

-Myself.

A bit wordy for a high school yearbook?

If that was you then your jokes been stolen by a comedian I saw at a comic showcase at the Edinburgh Fringe... He used it to put down a heckler ^^

Actually, Buddhists and Hindus have been saying it for years. I just said I said it because it was easier than saying Buddhists and Hindus have been saying it for years. So thank you good sir, now I have had to type it twice, because of you. I hope you are proud of yourself.

I'm joking, please don't start a flame war.

 

[Logic 0]

"Petend...to...care!

 

[Aqualung]

Spoiler: If you're an art student:

"I'm off to the drawing studio, so I can paint the stupid looks on your faces."

 

[Spaceman_Spiff]

black adder FTW!!1
Flashheart: If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!
flashheart
Just because I can give multiple orgasms to the furniture just by sitting on it, doesn't mean that I'm not sick of this damn war: the blood, the noise, the endless poetry.

WOOF! Am I glad to see you or did someone put a canoe in my pocket!

 

[RavingLibDem]

"If my religion be different from yours, strike me down. If my skin be different from yours, strike me down. If my beliefs be different from yours, strike me down. For whatever reason you may find, strike me down. Strike me down quickly and harshly, good sir, for as a Buddhist, I believe in reincarnation, and when I return, I assure you that it shall be as your son. As a baby, I will suck upon your wife's tit. As a child I shall embarass you at your parties. As a teenager, I shall get arrested and be written about in all the newspapers your friends read. As an adult, I shall take over the company you worked at and/or built up from scratch all your life, and place you in a retirement home. And, finally, when you are an old man, I shall have you euthenized. Strike me down once, good sir, so that I may strike you down a hundred-fold!"

-Myself.

A bit wordy for a high school yearbook?

If that was you then your jokes been stolen by a comedian I saw at a comic showcase at the Edinburgh Fringe... He used it to put down a heckler ^^

Actually, Buddhists and Hindus have been saying it for years. I just said I said it because it was easier than saying Buddhists and Hindus have been saying it for years. So thank you good sir, now I have had to type it twice, because of you. I hope you are proud of yourself.

I'm joking, please don't start a flame war.

I exist to annoy, I just thought it'd be interesting if you had made it up yourself, it would probably suggest that a career as a Stand up would be in order!

It's still one of the best put downs used on a heckler that I've seen

 

[shwnbob]

These quotes are awesome! I don't know which to pick. Thank you all so much!

 

[GodofDisaster]

how about This world is made of..LOVE AND PEACE.

 

[pelopelopelo]

Possibly my favorite quote, and one that quite succinctly sums up my approach to life:

"Not a shred of evidence exists in favour of the idea that life is serious"
-Brendan Gill

 

[dark_taint92]

black adder FTW!!1
Flashheart: If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!
flashheart
Just because I can give multiple orgasms to the furniture just by sitting on it, doesn't mean that I'm not sick of this damn war: the blood, the noise, the endless poetry.

WOOF! Am I glad to see you or did someone put a canoe in my pocket!

you have to treat your women like you kite
what take her home on the weekends to meet your mum
no get in her 5 times a day and take her to heaven and back WOOF!!

 

[TankCopter]

"Every single one of the 247 billion facts on the internet is wrong." -Jeremy Clarkson

 

[Ultra_Caboose]

"If the Hays Office would only let me, I'd give him the bird all right. *Whistle*"

Fifty points to whoever knows where that came from.

 

[mayhar]

"If the Hays Office would only let me, I'd give him the bird all right. *Whistle*"

Fifty points to whoever knows where that came from.

A tale of two kitties: Catsello

 

[WhyteBoy]

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."
-HP lovecraft

 

[slevin8989]

"Excuse me are you from the past?" from IT Crowd
"I just blue my self" from Arrested Development
and "Hey. Bender the Offender doesn't need YOU. Bender the Offender doesn't need ANYBODY?
Girl Robot: What about us, Mr. The Offender?
Bender: Well, obviously I need floozies." from Futurama

 

[herr.Didi]

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist" - Verbal Kint, The Usual Suspects

 

[dweomermaster]

give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day, set him on fire and he'll be warm for life

awww i was gonna say that! =)