Favorite Simpson Quotes

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Frequen-Z

Resident Batman fanatic.
Apr 22, 2009
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The entire "Aurora Borealis in your kitchen?"/Steamed Hams makes me laugh like a little girl every damn time. I even have a picture of Skinner with his Steamed Hams as a spray in TF2
 

captaincabbage

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Apr 8, 2010
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Dr. wonderful said:
Marge: Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you!
Homer: Batman?!
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: It's not Batman!

Homer: I'm saved! And I owe it all to this feisty feline....
Lisa: Dad, a feline is a cat.
Homer: Elephant. It's an elephant, honey. And I'm sure he'll make a grand piano.
Oh Dr. Wonderful, your quote are truley wonderful XD

OT: It's either this:

Lisa: All we could find were these berries, and they look pretty poisonious.
Ralph: I eated the purple berries!
*Ralph groans and curls up grabbing his stomach*
Bart: How are they Ralph? . . . Good?
Ralph: They taste like. . . burning.

or this:

Bart: What's wrong with you people!? Sideshow Bob hasn't changed! He's still the same twisted psychopath that threatened all of our lives! If only you could imagine what he's thinking in that twisted mind of his.
*Sideshow bob music zooms to Bob with his brother in the car*
Bob *thinking*: I hope they still make that shampoo I like.

Or even this.

Sideshow Bob: Err Cecil, you do know I kind of used to have this problem with, err, trying to kill people.
Cecil: Oh! Why I had no idea! You see I've been on mars for the last ten years, in a cave, with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears!
Bob: Touche' Cecil.

Basically any quote from any sideshow bob episode :D
 

captaincabbage

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Apr 8, 2010
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Graeme Philips said:
Homer:(walks in on vampire Bart trying to convert Lisa) BART! How many times have i told you not to bite your... Wait a minute! You are a vampire!

Grandpa: (runs into the room holding a wooden stake and a mallet) Quickly! We have to kill the boy!

Marge: (following Grandpa) Grandpa, how did you know he was a vampire?

Grandpa: He`s a vampire? (drops the mallet and stake. turns and runs out the room) AHHHHH!!!
Priceless! XD

OT: From another Treehouse of Horror:

*The town is overrun withg zombies summoned from a necronomicon Bart and Lisa have from a library*

Homer *cocks his shotgun*: To The book dipository!!

Same episode, seconds later:

Zombie Ned: Hey-diddly ho Homer! I feel a bit peckish, mind if I chew on your ear?
*Homer blasts him with his shotgun
Lisa: Dad! You killed the Zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?
 

TheRightToArmBears

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Dec 13, 2008
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"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

Ralph. Ralph is awesome.


"He must have disappeared into fat-air"
Selma or Patty.

Homer:"The first thing I want that child to see is a man with a good proffesion!"
Selma/Patty:"Yeah, the doctor."
 

captaincabbage

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Apr 8, 2010
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Vorocano said:
So, so many.

Homer: "Selma, my dear, how are you? Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh ... Listen, shut up for a second."

Homer: "I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, save me Superman!"

Homer: "I can't live the button-down life like you, Marge. I've got to have it all! The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odour. I'll never be the darling of the so-called city fathers, who'll stroke their beards and cluck their tongues, and talk about, 'What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?'"
Edit: apparently I misquoted this a bit, but such is life. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ub8NeH_eQ8k&feature=related
XD I love the start of that too! XD

Homer after staying up all night protecting his mound of sugar: Must, protect, sugar. THieves everywhere. The strong must protect the sweet.
 

jacobgr43

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Jun 5, 2010
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Marge: "When did this happen? When did we become the bottom rung of society?"
Homer: "I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos"
Lisa: "Dad, what happened to the backseat?"
(The camera changes angles to show Bart and Lisa standing on rails, they're all that's keeping them from running on the street.)
Homer: "I sold it. I needed gas money"
(The car slows to a stop. The gas tank is empty.)
Homer: "...which I spent on a novelty horn"
(He butts his head against the horn, triggering a horn that would lead to a 'CHARGE!!!' cry at a baseball game.)

OR

Marge: "Homer, we need to talk to a financial planner"
Homer: "Financial panther, eh?" (he starts to imagine)
Banker: "Mr. Simpson, you're a dollar overdrawn"
Homer: "Get him, Sheba!" (a panther leaps onscreen and mauls the banker) (back to reality) "I'm on board"
 

C.G.B.S

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Dec 22, 2009
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"Talking out of turn? That's a paddlin'. Lookin' out the window? That's a paddlin'. Staring at my sandals? That's a padddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe? Oh, you better believe that's a paddlin"
 

ManaAdvent

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Apr 16, 2010
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Homer: Must kill Moe....Wheeeeeee!

Homer: Mmmmmmmmm, Land of Chocolate.

Also, this:

Sadly, the only video I could find.
 

crudus

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Oct 20, 2008
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Homer: Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

Homer: That is a great idea Lisa. It's a good thing you turned the TV on
Lisa: I didn't turn it on. I thought you did.
Homer: O well, turn it off
Lisa: It is off.
*Twilight Zone music as Homer and Lisa stare unblinkingly at the TV*
 

Mechsoap

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Apr 4, 2010
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''parents doesent like anything more then a young, single authentic mans take interest in your childs life'' after bart makes a t-shirt business with the help of a wakky salesman
 

C_sector

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Homer: [pulls a chip out of his head]
Homer: I did it! And without any brain damage-amage-AMAGE!-amage-amage