Fellas, What would you do?

[orangeban]

We don't know she lied, she might just not have told you. You have no right to know what your girlfriend's job is.

Sure, if relationships like that work on TV and Hollywood it must work in real life.

Really, if there is a reason for someone not telling you their job, it's because it's not ordinary. You don't tell your job to people online. You don't tell your "real" job if you are a spy. You tell your job to the person you are with.

And if she did lie, then her reasons for lying matter, what if she felt embarrassed, ashamed or guilty? Should she really be dumped for feeling those things.

1. There are reasons for lying - but they only matter if you are not caught. Lying is a break of trust.
2. If she felt "embarrassed, ashamed or guilty" about her job doesn't that mean she isn't comfortable with it?
3. Wow, "she must be dumped for her feelings". No, a person is dumped when they lie or they fuck up really bad. I don't waste my time with liars nor with people that hide stuff like that from me.

Would I date a stripper? I don't know, but if I had knowledge of it then it wouldn't create an unpleasant situation.

If I am dating someone who is stripping and didn't tell me, I have to assume there are other things she might have hidden from me.

C'mon I understand your policy of trusting people and giving a chance, but I have trusted so many people and given so many chances I just prefer to be sour at situations like this. It allows me to move on instead of wasting my time delaying the inevitable.

*shrugh*, if you feel that way I guess there is nothing I can say about that. I just don't get it is all.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Screw that. I'm way too jealous a person to date a stripper.

 

[Joccaren]

Well I'd have a conversation with her first about why she didn't think she could tell me sooner.
If she has a reasonable reason, and realises that she can talk to me about these things, I have no problem with it.
If she's got a reason I don't think is reasonable, or believes she cannot trust me enough to talk about things, its probably not going to work out - so I'd leave her.

 

[Vicarious Reality]

I would think that was cool, yet i would find her lack of... inhibitions? prudness? Strange.

I am not the jealous, marriage til you die kind of weirdo

 

[BathorysGraveland]

Well, I'd talk to her. I'd rather her put that behind her, but if stripping is her passion, I'd find a way to make it work for the both of us. Same if she was a pornstar. As far as I'm concerned, love goes beyond those kinds of things.

But I certainly wouldn't force her with any "choose me or your job" asshole bullshit, that's for damn sure.

 

[SonicKoala]

I'd be a little shocked at first, but I'd get over it.

Given your avatar, this is probably the best comment you could have made.

 

[370999]

I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all. The idea that my other takes her top off in front of the type of men who go to a strip club would just for me to deal with. I couldn't.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

She's not my property and she can do what she wants to make money. If anything, I'd be happy because she would be loaded. I might make her start buying dinner. I'm not sure how one would go about keeping that secret, though.

"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm changing the subject!"

Not sure if I'd ever want to see her dance. Strip clubs seems so depressing in theory and I never want to go to one. Arguing that it's "unfaithful" is a little ridiculous. From what I understand, if you touch the dancers you get thrown out. End of story. And strippers don't fuck the customers... ever. *cue Chris Rock's "No Sex in the Champagne Room." You probably have a better chance of her not hooking up with another guy as a stripper than if she were a flight attendant. Think about it - long hours in different cities away from you meeting new people every day. In my mind, her being away that much would be more painful than "other guys seeing her naked." Nudity doesn't bother me in the slightest anyways.

You seem to be of the mind that stripping is somehow a low or base profession when it really isn't for the amount of money that they can make. A good stripper doesn't need "your support." She needs an accountant.

 

[Arakasi]

What's wrong with being a stripper?

1. Its a legitimate job
2. That pays
3. There really is no 3.

 

[leady129]

Hell i might even get a poll installed in my living room .

Where people can vote on what their favorite move is?
OT: I wouldn't be thrilled she kept it from me, but if that's the work she wants to do, let her go at it, I suppose.

 

[Ragsnstitches]

Let's take this hypothetical situation, what would you do if you found out that the girl you've fallen for and been going out with for a while is a stripper? would it be wrong to just dump her and never speak to her again because you judged her before you got to know the situation she's in and offer her support? or do you have the right to break up with her knowing that she did not trust you enough to tell you(in essence making her own judgement) and the thought of all the guys that have seen and touched her would is just unbearable?

I wouldn't mind.
It could actually be an advantage. If she's a stripper, that means she's hot and she can move and excite a man and that's important, I think.
Also, she's showing off her body. The same thing happens at public pools and on beaches at times, unless you consider something like this clothing:

Spoiler: WARNING: PARTIAL FEMALE NUDITY AHEAD :D

Unless of course, a guy wouldn't want to date a girl who did that as well, but that's just silly.

It would be impossible to date her only if you were one of those oversensitive insecure guys who think that stripping is the "gateway drug" to prostitution.

I couldn't date a stripper, not because 'it could be a gateway drug to other evil things, like veganism!', but to me a woman who strips for (usually) a living is okay with multiple men watching her nightly.

I however, would not be.

Jealousy? Not really, its more of having standards, which to me a girl who strip has either low or nonexistent standards.

Also, lol, "if you wont date a stripper, you are oversensitive and insecure".

L O fucking L.

Personally I think a girl/boy who decided stripping was the best course of action for a career (though it's more likely desperation), likely has some issues they never bothered to resolve... seriously, I can't imagine the unstable background that led a person thinking that being a stripper would be fulfilling and/or rewarding in the grand scheme of things.

Also, imagine the difficulty of teaching future kids important values, when their mother dangles her ta-tas to drunken louts, deviants and people who just don't give a fuck.

My code for life: If you would be ashamed to tell your grandkids about it, don't do it (yes, grandkids... where the future is even more decadent then the present).

EDIT: Admittedly, there is wisdom in experience, so who knows, maybe a stripper mother would have a better view on things for her kids to avoid. Though that leads to hypocrisy.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

...you realize a stripper isn't a hooker right? If I found out my GF was a stripper I really wouldn't care. Hell, I'd be excited by the fact that she's likely making more money than I am. Other guys and, gals look at strippers, they don't play with them. If your GF was a hooker then there may be a problem. A stripper though? They're the post-high school Cheerleader. What kind of man breaks up with a cheerleader?!

 

[Goofguy]

If it took her this long to tell me, then it shows me that we've gotten to a point where she really trusts me and/or it's a job she may not be 100% proud of. It could be that she is really only doing the job to make some extra money to pay some bills. We've all done stuff we're not proud of, as long as I really know her personality then I can make the judgement myself.

On the flip side, would you rather date the girl who right up front offhandedly says she's a stripper? It would seem to me she is desensitized to it... Sure, you might make a good one night stand out of it but how many guys look at the stripper they just met and think "yup, I want to marry this girl".

The girlfriend who waited some time to tell you may just really like you and want you to get to know the good side of her before you find out about her employment.

 

[Muspelheim]

Why on earth would I even consider dumping her for being a stripper? It's just a job. And if she's got that talent, it'd be really like looking a gift horse in the mouth, wouldn't it?

Furthermore, I'd still say her job makes more difference than mine. She gets payed for giving people blue balls (which is supposed to be entertaining somehow), while I'm (currently, probably not very long...) payed to call people up in the middle of dinner and trying to make them buy useless guff they don't want or need.

 

[bobmus]

Stupid argument

Just re-read all this. I acted like a huge douche and would like to apologise. No need to reply, that is all.

 

[aba1]

I would break up with her. However I would make sure she knows it isn't because I dislike her or don't respect her decision or job choice it is a my issue and I simply don't think I would be comfortable having my girlfriend out doing anything sexual with anyone even if it isn't sex and completely work related. To be honest I think I would have a issue if my girlfriend was actress doing certain things as well.

 

[katsumoto03]

I wouldn't be able to date her. I see that as cheating. I suspect a lot of people will disagree, but it falls under that category for me.

Then again, a lot of people think it's cool to flirt with other people while you're in a relationship, which I most certainly don't.