Fellas, What would you do?
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If you know that this is making you uncomfortable, ask her to find another job. If she won't/can't, dump her.
If you're okay with it [IIWU]: let it proceed. Don't give a fuck and let her ride your...cuck?
If your family and friends don't like it [IIWU]: Dump her. Seeing a relationship from an inside POV kinda blinds you. If many of your friends and family met her and still didn't like her, dump her ass.
If she's helping you pay the rent [IIWU]: go with it for an extra month(or two) to save up more money then dump her to find a roommate.
A real-life experience: I have a buddy who had a stripper for a girlfriend. She was a fucking 10/10 (for a Mi'kmaq chick) and it was pretty damn well-known that she liked to sleep around the province for money. He knew about this[proceed to play Mario Winans], but he proceeded to ignore that she was whoring herself. They eventually broke up(with a custody battle) very bitterly. Now he has a kid to raise by himself while the ex-girlfriend-stripper proceeded to hook up with horny white people.
I'm always listening to radio shows at work and this is a very common topic. According to Covino and Rich(and many, many callers), dating a stripper or even a porn star(a similar job) is a very, very bad(but educating) experience.
DAMN I WISH I WASN'T DRUNK SO I WOULDN'T MAKE THESE DAMN SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES.
If you're okay with it [IIWU]: let it proceed. Don't give a fuck and let her ride your...cuck?
If your family and friends don't like it [IIWU]: Dump her. Seeing a relationship from an inside POV kinda blinds you. If many of your friends and family met her and still didn't like her, dump her ass.
If she's helping you pay the rent [IIWU]: go with it for an extra month(or two) to save up more money then dump her to find a roommate.
A real-life experience: I have a buddy who had a stripper for a girlfriend. She was a fucking 10/10 (for a Mi'kmaq chick) and it was pretty damn well-known that she liked to sleep around the province for money. He knew about this[proceed to play Mario Winans], but he proceeded to ignore that she was whoring herself. They eventually broke up(with a custody battle) very bitterly. Now he has a kid to raise by himself while the ex-girlfriend-stripper proceeded to hook up with horny white people.
I'm always listening to radio shows at work and this is a very common topic. According to Covino and Rich(and many, many callers), dating a stripper or even a porn star(a similar job) is a very, very bad(but educating) experience.
DAMN I WISH I WASN'T DRUNK SO I WOULDN'T MAKE THESE DAMN SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES.
*Okay, first off... me? Completely open minded about sex and sexuality. Strippers? Sure, let them do their thing. Does it interest me? Not in the slightest. It just doesn't jive with what I find appealing in a person.Spot1990 said:
*Secondly, Taboo? Didn't say that. Neither did I say strippers were meth heads or too stupid to do anything else (but you did, which handily adds to the weight of what I'm about to said). Family problems? I can place fucking money on it. How am I so sure? Because no parent would willingly allow their child (which all parents view their offspring, regardless of age), get into such a practice. If not for some draconian moral standard or some religiously orientated sexual repression, it will be simply due to the horridly bad publicity of the Stripping institutions that mainstream media pushes. Actually, I take that back, there are parents that would... that is, parents in families that are UNSTABLE.
*Moral Values: Live your life as you want, but everything comes at a price. That is what drives my moral compass, along with compassion and consideration for others. Tell me, how would the hypothetical classmates of the hypothetical kids react to the knowledge of a stripper mom? Hmm? I think the answer is obvious. In this case Consideration was lacking. Suppose one of the kids voices concern or even resentment at the mothers career and bullying that results from it, what would you do? Tell them to toughen up? Or tell your wife to stop stripping? Compassion, and this one will be a difficult choice.
Everything comes at a price... but some things are just not worth it.
*The moral code I made in my first post? Yeah, can be disregarded. Didn't think that one through. Never live your life under the control of shame. It's fucked me over one too many times.
*Finally, Love your avatar.
Your logic is flawed, he may have been simply looking up the word to prove you wrong, and to provide a source for his claims. You have no way to prove he didn't know the meaning of the word prior to looking it up. As for claiming Wikipedia is incorrect, personally I find it is right 99% of the time, but if you insist another source: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/promiscuousTheBobmus said:
You're both right, the word "promiscuous" can be used in different ways. Some people take it to mean a person who has casual sex frequently, others take it to mean acting "slutty", and showing skin. It's rather subjective. Anyhow, it's arguing a technicality, in my opinion.
On topic, I think if a guy were to dump her for working such a job, they are shallow, and likely believers in the notion of "sexual purity" for females, anyhow; a stupid mindset that I still see far too many men possessing, even in this modern day and age. I would tell her it's cool with me, and if she wants to practice, all she has to do is just send me an invite.
Sorry, I may have done the 1-page skim before raging myself at the sexual immaturity displayed by a lot of males here.TheBobmus said:Interestingly I just apologised for how petty this whole argument was literally five posts above you.
But thank-you for pointing out the flaw in my rage-logic all the same.
Where is the beach that women wear such outfits? Because if it exists I'd like to go, especially if they're that good looking. In response to the post, it ultimately depends on how you feel about the situation. Do you want to date a stripper? If I were in the situation, I don't know...I'd give it a shot, but I'm kind of the jealous-type. I don't know if it would work out simply because I don't like the idea of a) lap dances and b) other dudes recognizing her on the street. That's just me, take it for what it's worth. She must be hot, so you've got that, and you must be getting close, as stated previously, for her to tell you this. You've got a lot on your plate, like me. If you find it too much to deal with at once, have some drinks and think on it. That's my favorite kind of thinkin'. Thinkin' drinkin'HardkorSB said:I wouldn't mind.ameemo said:
It could actually be an advantage. If she's a stripper, that means she's hot and she can move and excite a man and that's important, I think.
Also, she's showing off her body. The same thing happens at public pools and on beaches at times, unless you consider something like this clothing:
Unless of course, a guy wouldn't want to date a girl who did that as well, but that's just silly.
It would be impossible to date her only if you were one of those oversensitive insecure guys who think that stripping is the "gateway drug" to prostitution.
Personally I can't see why being a stripper would be cause to dump a girl that until prior to finding out that fact you wanted a serious relationship with. What does it matter if she makes money out of people essentailly just looking at her, especially considering that at the end of the day she wants to be in a relatiomship with me.
As for the not telling me aspect, well I'd ask more out of curiosity than anything else but I can't think anything she would say would change how I would feel about her.
As for the not telling me aspect, well I'd ask more out of curiosity than anything else but I can't think anything she would say would change how I would feel about her.
At first I was like why would I? What a dumb question because she is a liar and a stripper.Jonluw said:
But then you made a really good point. Which is totally possible and makes sense.
OP: I wouldn't date a stripper, even if they are hot. Lots of guys would. You just have to do what feels right for you.
I have to agree with you on this one, sexual behavior can mean anything from phone sex to full penetration, and everything in between, including lap dancing which is kind of like light dry humping.TheBobmus said:
I'd find it understandable that they kept it from me for however long it took us to get serious. Think about it. When people talk about strippers they always treat them either like pity projects "Oh you must have been abused as a child." or think of them as dirty sluts who sleep around for money (because people are dumb and think stripper = prostitute). Suddenly you're judgin this person entirely through their profession despite knowin literally nothin about them before this. Can you blame someone for not dumpin that kind of knowledge on the first date?
Would it bother me? Eh, not really. It's a job and if she enjoys that job, who am I to judge? I can understand why people would get icked out by it though. Some people are really rigid with their sexuality and old school when it comes to relationships. Nothin wrong with that, but it wouldn't jive well with bein in a relationship with someone who basically breaks those rules as a part of their job.
Would it bother me? Eh, not really. It's a job and if she enjoys that job, who am I to judge? I can understand why people would get icked out by it though. Some people are really rigid with their sexuality and old school when it comes to relationships. Nothin wrong with that, but it wouldn't jive well with bein in a relationship with someone who basically breaks those rules as a part of their job.
Don't really give a fuck. Do what you gotta do. She could be a rich girl with daddy issues or a downtrodden genius trying to pay her way through University. I don't care. If I liked her and she liked me that's really all that matters. Oh and most of you posting bullshit about "promiscuity" and "unfaithfulness" are probably very insecure or are more likely to cheat yourself, so you're projecting. That or you belong to an organized religion.
QUALIFIER: I'M NOT SHITTING ON OR BASHING YOUR RELIGION. I'M ASSUMING THAT YOUR VALUES AND OPINIONS WERE INFLUENCED BY YOUR RELIGION.
To be fair, most cultures seem to have leaned toward monogamy (or at least faithfulness and/or loyalty) regardless of religious influence. Perhaps I'm just looking for a fight... I've got some thinking to do.
QUALIFIER: I'M NOT SHITTING ON OR BASHING YOUR RELIGION. I'M ASSUMING THAT YOUR VALUES AND OPINIONS WERE INFLUENCED BY YOUR RELIGION.
To be fair, most cultures seem to have leaned toward monogamy (or at least faithfulness and/or loyalty) regardless of religious influence. Perhaps I'm just looking for a fight... I've got some thinking to do.
I'd find it more a problem that she didn't tell you her job. Though that raises the question of have you never asked her what she does for a job? Because for me that's one of the first things I find out no matter who I am dating male or female. I'm of the mind that stripping is perfectly fine. Heck, if done right, pole dancing could qualify as an olympic sport. Some of the things that some people can do are mind blowingly amazing.....It is my understanding at least out in the US that MOST states have the rule of you can't touch the girls. It may be different where you're at but I know for certain that is how it is out here.ameemo said:
I'd be a little concerned that she didn't tell me earlier, particularly if we'd been together a while. And maybe wonder how I didn't notice that earlier.
But aside from wanting a good reason as to why she didn't trust me earlier, it wouldn't be a deal breaker.
But aside from wanting a good reason as to why she didn't trust me earlier, it wouldn't be a deal breaker.
Depends on a few things, is it her full time career or is it something to get through university? Is it a classy joint with strict no touching rules? One where some of the strippers double as prositutes? Do some of the strippers do drugs?
Really my issue isn't with the stripping but the lifestyle around the stripping.
Really my issue isn't with the stripping but the lifestyle around the stripping.
A rational and sensible suggestion? Get out of here!Zhukov said:
I'd certainly be hurt about her not trusting/respecting me enough to be upfront about it. I don't think I would leave her over it but I certainly would talk about my feelings on it. It would really depend on her attitude about it.
If she's been keeping it as a secret I wonder why she wouldn't fele comfortable telling you but personally I wouldn't dump her. If I like her the only job I would be worried about is her being a prostitute. I mean strippers have codes about not going home or anything with customers (at least here) and she defineatly knows how to do the foreplay...
Depends.
Casual relationship with no strings attached? I'd break up with her.
A long-term relationship or the potential for such? I'd break up with her.
Yeah, regardless of what the rules are in stripper joints, I would simply look down on her for being a stripper. I'd probably even feel disgust for her.
I know that being a stripper and being a prostitute are two different things. I still, however, associate them with the thoughts "Who knows how many people have explored her dungeon?"
The same way I'd just someone who've had sex with fifty people. That kind of thing raises an eyebrow from me. And my gag reflex.
Ultimately, the reason I wouldn't be okay with it is you can rationalise it away as "No touching" or "Regular check-ups" and so on, but it's a job based on their sexuality, in person, to a group of strangers, sometimes involving skin-contact and certainly involving sexual flirting.
I simply couldn't handle it, and I don't see why I should have to swallow (excuse any connotations) my personal thoughts and feelings. Every one has a deal breaker, this is one of mine.
Casual relationship with no strings attached? I'd break up with her.
A long-term relationship or the potential for such? I'd break up with her.
Yeah, regardless of what the rules are in stripper joints, I would simply look down on her for being a stripper. I'd probably even feel disgust for her.
I know that being a stripper and being a prostitute are two different things. I still, however, associate them with the thoughts "Who knows how many people have explored her dungeon?"
The same way I'd just someone who've had sex with fifty people. That kind of thing raises an eyebrow from me. And my gag reflex.
Ultimately, the reason I wouldn't be okay with it is you can rationalise it away as "No touching" or "Regular check-ups" and so on, but it's a job based on their sexuality, in person, to a group of strangers, sometimes involving skin-contact and certainly involving sexual flirting.
I simply couldn't handle it, and I don't see why I should have to swallow (excuse any connotations) my personal thoughts and feelings. Every one has a deal breaker, this is one of mine.