Film Review Haiku's

[Hey Joe]

Given the current trend (2 threads) dedicated to movie reviews, I thought I'd give a couple of movies I've seen recently. Jumping from my long-winded-get-to-the-point-eventually style, I present 3 haiku's.

JUNO

Darling Ellen Paige
Gets Knocked Up By George Michael
Baby Does Get Borned!

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

You Can Not Escape
The Violence Over The Land
Give Those Men Oscars

DARJEELING LIMITED

Submarine Now Train
Suffocate On The Whimsy
It's No Tenenbaums

 

[neems]

Fantastic idea,
Much lolness is resulting,
Please give us some more.

 

[Melaisis]

5, 7, 5, right?

RESERVOIR DOGS

Lots of bloody men,
All in their own bloody suits,
They all bloody die.

CHILDREN OF MEN

Clive Owen is superb,
Why is there no more babies?
He was also dead.

 

[wilsonscrazybed]

SWEENY TODD

Lots of blood to see
Johnny still wears mascara
Will Burton cease this?

 

[REDPill357]

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

You Can Not Escape
The Violence Over The Land
Give Those Men Oscars

Totally agree.

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE

The worst movie ever
Ed Wood's doctor plays Bela
Need I say much more?

PULP FICTION

Best writing ever
The script is very funny
Samuel Jackson

 

[Duck Sandwich]

SNAKES ON A PLANE

I've had it with these
Motherfucking snakes on this
Motherfucking plane

 

[Copter400]

FIGHT CLUB

Guys punch eachother
And make soap from human fat
Brad Pitt is so cool

 

[Larenxis]

You can't steal on the internets!

(As far as I know, this is my thing that I mentioned on this forum)

 

[cavicchia]

TRANSFORMERS

Megan Fox is hot
Shia leboeuf is ballin'
Special Effects rock

 

[REDPill357]

TRANSFORMERS
The girl is quite hot
The action scenes are okay
The rest is stupid

 

[Crowbites]

BLOODRAYNE 2

Saw it on the shelf
Decided not to rent it
Uwe Boll should die

 

[Duck Sandwich]

GREASE

What the hell is this?
20 year olds in high school
Fucked up musical

CODE OF SILENCE

This movie's awesome
It has Chuck Norris in it
Therefore, it kicks ass

BLOODSPORT

Frank Dux kicks some ass
He has great fighting spirit
Chong-Li says Matte

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

Gratuituous blood
There is much torture and death
Nothing else happens

 

[MPD51]

CLOVERFIELD

Holy f***ing hell
What the heck is going on?
I love this movie

I AM LEGEND

Will Smith goes crazy
Must save all humanity
Surprisingly good

 

[neems]

Stolen from RedPill -

TRANSFORMERS
The girl is quite hot
The action scenes are okay
What else do you need?


Also, Duck Sandwich's 'Snakes On a Plane' is genius.

 

[The Gil-Monster]

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE

The worst movie ever
Ed Wood's doctor plays Bela
Need I say much more?

Au contraire. At least that film was fun.

GIGLI.
Hitmen Bennifer
Swipe a retard with Tourette's.
Ben beds lesbian.

BOOM!
Taylor and Burton
Mope indoors and recite bad
Tennessee Williams

BATMAN AND ROBIN.
Armor with nipples.
"It's a hockey team from hell!"
Day-glo neon pain.

CREEPSHOW III.
When will William Gaines
Rise from his grave and kill the
Hacks responsible?

HUDSON HAWK.
Bruce ruins own script.
Everyone acts obnoxious.
WHY is this film liked...?

HOUSE OF THE DEAD.
It's not SEGA's fault
That you fucked up a zombie
Shoot-'em-up, Uwe.

EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE
Nineteen years for that?
Darth Vader NEVER said "Whee".
"Messa tink you wude!"

EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES
"I don't like sand. It's
Coarse, it's irritating, and
It gets everywhere..."

EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH
Four-armed droids with colds?
"Well, guess I'll join the Sith now..."
I'll get you, Lucas.

 

[Akirasfriend]

And now, the anime reviews!

GHOST IN THE SHELL
Are they all robots?
Can they truly have a soul?
Sod it, she's got tits.

METROPOLIS
So, she's not human?
Ziggurats? Who'da thunk it?
Their legs are tumors.

VAMPIRE HUNTER D
His hand talks to him...
Or something. Why follow stories
When there's some vampires?

 

[cavicchia]

CRYSIS

dual 8800's
wish my computer ran it
graphics not worth it

 

[cavicchia]

ZERO PUNCTUATION (in general)

yahtzee is senile
that is what causes teh lawlz
keep it up yahtzee

sorry for the double post

 

[Swenglish]

And now, the anime reviews!



METROPOLIS
So, she's not human?
Ziggurats? Who'da thunk it?
Their legs are tumors.

Oh that's the best so far.
Good movie too. Loved the artwork.

 

[Larenxis]

Metropolis was remade into an anime? Huh, I should check that out. I love the original silent version.