Films that you regret watching

[RhineVonFarl]

The Last Airbender.

Shyamalan needs to go home and rethink his life.

 

[Sticky Squid]

The Devil inside, I passed up the opputunity to go see 21 Jump street's remake to see it and the only slightly redeeming factor I saw with it was that one of the actors slightly resembled Thom Yorke.

 

[Jaythulhu]

Eat (a bullet). Pray (you don't miss your brainstem). Love (the fact you're dead and don't have to see any more of this godawful tripe).

 

[Yugeky20]

Visitor Q

You may good sir have balls! I read that o wikipedia after seeing the cover at a friend's (BIG japnaese film watcher) and went "WHAT THE F**K" no film should be about People sucking there mother's brest.
The guy that made that film made the Phoenix wright movie, I'm too scared to watch it now...

 

[Matthew Engman]

The Eragon movie, need I say more?

 

[ishist]

A Serbian Film

Do Not watch this movie if you value your sanity.

just....ew.

 

[PsychicTaco115]

Chernobyl Diaries

I went with a friend (who worked there, so free tickets) and I still felt ripped off.

After it, we just spent the whole ride home saying how bad it is.

If you want to know more in detail why it's so bad, ask away.

I'm actually quite interested in knowing why it's bad and I already have a few ideas as to why it might be bad, but I want to hear from the horses mouth as to why it's so terrible.

You'll have to explain the horse's mouth metaphor to me XD

But reasons why Chernobyl Diaries is a horrible movie (Plot spoilers inbound people!)

Spoiler

Reason I: Characters

I figuratively could not care about any of the characters. Nothing was done to at least give SOME qualities, they were pretty much the same person cloned seven times.

Reason II: Editing

It takes almost a third of the movie to actually get to the "setting", Pripyat. TOO FREAKEN' LONG

Some scenes were done to provide some "suspense" for the viewers (ex: Tour guide goes off screen after hearing noise, next shot is of tourists watching where he went.)

That shot I mentioned lasted WAY too long. I'm talking like 30-45 seconds long.

Reason III: Plot inconsistencies
There's a lot of them

a. They show a mutated fish (from Chernobly's radiation) and it's never brought back up again.

b. For most of the film, DOGS are the major "scary" things :/

c. It's never clear how intelligent the mutant zombie citizens are, or how fast they move.

d. One of the characters first grabbed is grabbed multiple times, only to die of OTHER CAUSES

e. Radiation exposure seems to take place instantaneously

f. THE RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT F**KING KNEW ABOUT THE MUTANTS THE WHOLE TIME, and to make sure the lone survivor doesn't tell anyone, they THROW HER INTO A CELL WITH THEM TO EAT HER.

Yeah that sounds about right.

I expected the random group of teens to be bland asshats. And it took a long time to actually get to the setting? Well, that probably just reinforces the asshat thing, right? Just watching the characters be the worthless characters they are for too long, ugh. And then them just watching nothing? Geez, that sounds boring. Oh, and dogs? Really? Plus, that ending sounds fucking retarded and is a shameless effort to antagonize "those commie bastards" or some shit like that.

So overall, just a crappy pointless generic shitty horror movie which I doubt was really even that scary.

And as for the whole from-the-horse's-mouth phrase...actually, I don't really know what it means. I figured it was just a way to say "from a legitimate source." Why is it a horse's mouth and not a dog's or goat's, I don't know.

I've never heard that before, I was genuinely curious

But yeah, the movie sucked. I just ended up riffing the movie; I probably put more energy into it than any of the actors did XD

 

[AKDread]

Chernobyl Diaries

I went with a friend (who worked there, so free tickets) and I still felt ripped off.

After it, we just spent the whole ride home saying how bad it is.

If you want to know more in detail why it's so bad, ask away.

I'm actually quite interested in knowing why it's bad and I already have a few ideas as to why it might be bad, but I want to hear from the horse's mouth as to why it's so terrible.

The reason the movie is bad cus the actors suck, the director sucks, the movie has every single bad horror cliché , and the guys who wrote the movie also screen wrote most of The Asylum films

 

[Master-Jedi]

The TNG Star Trek movies. Especially Generations and Insurrection. If you haven't seen the reviews done by Redlettermedia, I would recommend them over the movies.

 

[viranimus]

Holy crap. Im stunned no one has listed this (unless I simply missed it but I did check each page)

1: Number one far and away... Calligula. Look Ill admit, Ive seen ample porn in my day but after a half hour you just have to make it stop.

2: Pink Flamingos. This film simply should not exist. There is no point to it except trying to make people sick to their stomach.

3: My dinner with the Japanese - pointlessly gross, follows the vein of Calligula and after a half hour of being grossed out you simply want it to stop.

4: The room. There is absolutely no redeeming quality about this film. Its not a good film. Its not a profitable film, Its not a serious film, and it most certainly cannot be viewed as a funny film. Its just a never ending stream of bad acting and awkward.

5: Super mario bros. If your going to fuck with the concepts of the source material this much, why even bother using a licensed intellectual property?

Top 5 off the top of my head, though the top 3 Im pretty solid on.

 

[legend forge]

Snow White and the Huntsman.

OH MY GOD was it a bad movie. I got taken by my easily-pleased mother.

 

[Nuclear_Suspect]

+1 to 'Napoleon Dynamite' other than that I can only really think of 'Titanic', both movies bored me outta my mind.

 

[AKDread]

Holy crap. Im stunned no one has listed this (unless I simply missed it but I did check each page)

2: Pink Flamingos. This film simply should not exist. There is no point to it except trying to make people sick to their stomach.

another who has seen Pink Flamingos as well
PAPA OOM MOW MOW!!!!!

 

[LiberalSquirrel]

The Eragon movie, need I say more?

...

I had blocked this from my memory. I curse you for reviving it. But your avatar made me laugh, so I'll forgive you.

AKA: +1 to the Eragon movie. Good lord, was that awful. Also, +1 to Napoleon Dynamite. I found absolutely nothing to redeem either of those movies.

 

[Jaythulhu]

[quote="Yugeky20" post="18.377923.14757996"no film should be about People sucking there mother's breast.[/quote]

Many, many, MANY (at least 20) years ago, I remember seeing a hispanic film (though I couldn't tell you which spanish-speaking country made it) about an 8yo boy who was addicted to breast milk whose mother had started denying him her breasts to try and break him of the habit.
He went off on an adventure (of sorts) through a city to find a woman who would breastfeed him. End of the movie was 5 minutes of the kid on one side of a balcony, his mother and the.. uhm.. secondary supplier (for lack of a better term) on the other side squeezing (or perhaps shooting is more appropriate) breast milk into his face.


... The Japanese are still the undisputed masters of "Wait, WTF??!!!?!" though.

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

Visitor Q

You may good sir have balls! I read that o wikipedia after seeing the cover at a friend's (BIG japnaese film watcher) and went "WHAT THE F**K" no film should be about People sucking there mother's brest.
The guy that made that film made the Phoenix wright movie, I'm too scared to watch it now...

I've heard of that film, and that scene is far from the most disturbing in it.

Also, Takashi Miike is the god of WTF horror, and the fact that he made the Phoenix Wright movie is...disturbing.

 

[NecroNeeda]

So far Meet the Feebles is the worst thing I have ever watched.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097858/

How did Peter Jackson manage to be allowed to make the Lord of the Rings movies after this I will never know...

 

[BNguyen]

Some sort of indian burial ground esque movie, where father takes his dead son's body (age 5 or something) and buries it there thinking it will bring him back to life. Instead the kid is alive, but body is controlled by some sort of demon. Demon tries to kill father, father is forced to kill son by burning the body along with his house.

I cried.

Pet Cemetery

And for the OP - A Serbian Film - thought it was boring at first but some parts have stuck with me that I wish I hadn't seen, it truly disgusts me as a film for trying to even be serious with its content - those who are curious about this film, please don't - just read the synopsis on wikipedia, that should be enough

some others would include:
The Last Song - wanted to smack Miley Cyrus all throughout
A Cinderella Story - pathetic version of the story and stupid plot and characters
Men Behind the Sun - mostly animal torture parts
every "Bring It On" movie - each one has the same plot as the one before it
"Step Up" same problem as Bring It On, as well as "High School Music"

Speed - only because of the part where the people are trying to escape and end up falling and dying
American Beauty - because of the wife - "my husband isn't cheating on me but I think he is so I'll have an affair, then it looks like he had an affair with a younger girl so I have to kill him"
Sling Blade - slow and boring
Like Water for Chocolate - boring, very stupid, and idiotic ending
Blair Witch 2 for stupid characters
The Haunting - bad CGI and ending
Hostel 2 had one stupid character - "this guy seems really nice" "Don't go with him" "Okay, but sorry, I have to go with him for no other reason than to be kidnapped. Oops bad choice now I'm going to be killed"

can't think of any others - I like a lot of movies and the ones I didn't like I can't really remember at all

 

[InsipidMadness]

The Village. Dear God, I thought no matter how bad a movie is, I'd never want to walk out of one. Well I would've killed to walk out of that terrible movie. I want those hours back.