Flirting with strangers :-D
- Thread starter Annoying Turd
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Smile. Get really good at small talk. Cant emphasize that enough. Anyone you meet will be different once you get to know them, so the reverse is true for you to them, so advertising the ability to carry on a conversation will usually get you a second chance to have one and get to know the person. And if you arent good at it (im a friendly person but i really had to learn how to small talk with people): ask them questions, but dont make it an interview. Notice things about her (even small things) that you could potentially have in common and ask her a question about it. At first its good to keep it broad so you dont sound like youre grasping at straws ("Hello i see you are wearing socks, i also have been known to wear socks"). Asking generic questions may make you feel stupid, but its not the question that matters, its her response and your response to her response that is important.
I'm going to have to respectfully disagree there. Flirting is awesome and it's how I've met all of my GFs. If I get to know them too well first it hits the 'friend zone' and stays there. 90% of the time because relationships end, and I like my friends too much to invite that.Biodeamon said:
Solid gold response, dude.Biodeamon said:
OT:
1) Personal hygene... halitosis is NOT sexy.
2) Confidence IS sexy
3) Listen to them, people love talking about themselves.
4) If you can manage it, be extremely rich and handsome... yeah.
Edit: If you MUST use a line try this... "Hey, do you know what kind of material this is? (hand them the hem of your shirt) That's boyfriend material..."
Truthfully, the best sort of 'line' is "Hi, I'm X, are you enjoying yourself tonight?"
No. Don't liste to him/her. That is what girls tell you to feel better about yourself. That's a lie.FreeDoM. said:
I have a better idea:
Give the impression of confidence. Lie if necessary. it will make girls like you...maybe dump you later on, but they'll like you for a couple of days!...until they catch on to your bullshit.
Either way, good hunting.
My best advice: Find an activity that you are interested in and are reasonably sure that females would be interested in as well, find a place to do that activity, and then talk to some of the chicks there using your common experience with the current activity as an ice breaker. Hope that helps.
Confidence is key.
If you have trouble mustering confidence, dressing sharp or working out are great ways to build some.
Communicating with women can be difficult. There are no hard and fast rules, but in general I find that most women like men to be some mixture of gentleman and badboy. You'll have to figure out what the correct mixture is, though
Looks are nice, but not essential. Sharp dressing, witty conversation and an image of succes/control will easily make up for being ugly.
Women don't necessarily focus so much on looks as men do.
Also, despite claims to the contrary money works as well, at least to a certain extent.
Being a smartass who shows off his wads of cash won't score you any points, but giving the impression that you're not lacking funds and you're not afraid to spend them to show her a good time usually will.
Most important thing when hoping to meet women though, especially when you're very inexperienced at it, is don't try too hard. Women pick up on a lot of things, including you essentially being a puppy thats mentally humping their leg.
If you have trouble mustering confidence, dressing sharp or working out are great ways to build some.
Communicating with women can be difficult. There are no hard and fast rules, but in general I find that most women like men to be some mixture of gentleman and badboy. You'll have to figure out what the correct mixture is, though
Looks are nice, but not essential. Sharp dressing, witty conversation and an image of succes/control will easily make up for being ugly.
Women don't necessarily focus so much on looks as men do.
Also, despite claims to the contrary money works as well, at least to a certain extent.
Being a smartass who shows off his wads of cash won't score you any points, but giving the impression that you're not lacking funds and you're not afraid to spend them to show her a good time usually will.
Most important thing when hoping to meet women though, especially when you're very inexperienced at it, is don't try too hard. Women pick up on a lot of things, including you essentially being a puppy thats mentally humping their leg.
Interesting topic. I do have a quick question I've been meaning to put into practice but haven't been able to yet: how well does the 'foreigner act' work? I can pull off a functionally perfect British English accent, which is rare enough in Belgium to probably be interesting. I can also do the whole classy wit thing to go with it, under ideal circumstances. Most female interest I've managed to get in the last years has mainly been due to that, but I've never tried the whole 'flirting with stranger' thing.
Would people get upset when they find out we actually share native languages? Anyone have any experience with that? For the record, I wouldn't consider it lying. I'd need someone to be proficient in English for me to be interested in them, as the language is essentially my life, so to speak. I study it and whatnot. I'm just wondering whether it would be quirky and interesting or mainly deceitful and creepy. Intuition tells me it's the first.
Would people get upset when they find out we actually share native languages? Anyone have any experience with that? For the record, I wouldn't consider it lying. I'd need someone to be proficient in English for me to be interested in them, as the language is essentially my life, so to speak. I study it and whatnot. I'm just wondering whether it would be quirky and interesting or mainly deceitful and creepy. Intuition tells me it's the first.
Well, talking with a funny accent and pretending to be another person completely are very different things.Alien Mole said:
I very much doubt pretending to be someone you're not will come off as quirky and interesting though.
More like creepy, or bordering on the insane
Hmmm... does that still count if I'm actually just a more balanced and fun person in English and... well, I just use it more often in general? I've honestly reached the point where I'd argue that me using Dutch is more 'being someone I'm not' than when I'm using English. Even when it's not my birth language. It would help with the initial interest, no?Turing said:
I might be going a bit off-topic here - am I? I just found it an interesting question.
No offense mate, but people who believe they're a better person when using a different language usually need to see a therapist.Alien Mole said:
In any case I doubt most women are going to find it endearing that you've been pretending to be someone you're not.
CONFIDENCE!
This can not be said enough times. Confidence is the single most important trait that girls are attracted to. The biggest problem guys have with women, and you obviously have it because you started this thread, is that guys put girls on big assed pedestals.
The hardest thing about it is that you can't try to change how you act around them, you need to change your whole mindset. You need to stop trying so hard, girls sense it. If you're just out to have a good time, and treat them no better than you'd treat a guy friend, they will see you as a stronger person in general. It's in a womans nature to look for a strong willed guy who can provide for a family, even if she doesn't realize it. So the fumbly stuttering shy guy can lose out here a lot.
Also...being POSITIVE is very important. Don't complain at all when talking to a girl. Complaining is an easy way to have a conversation - 'music too loud, drinks too expensive' etc, but it makes people not want to be around you. Try to just be positive about everything. If she complains, add a positive spin on it. Think in the 'it could be worse' mindset. This will improve everything about your social life, not just with women, but also with guy friends.
This can not be said enough times. Confidence is the single most important trait that girls are attracted to. The biggest problem guys have with women, and you obviously have it because you started this thread, is that guys put girls on big assed pedestals.
The hardest thing about it is that you can't try to change how you act around them, you need to change your whole mindset. You need to stop trying so hard, girls sense it. If you're just out to have a good time, and treat them no better than you'd treat a guy friend, they will see you as a stronger person in general. It's in a womans nature to look for a strong willed guy who can provide for a family, even if she doesn't realize it. So the fumbly stuttering shy guy can lose out here a lot.
Also...being POSITIVE is very important. Don't complain at all when talking to a girl. Complaining is an easy way to have a conversation - 'music too loud, drinks too expensive' etc, but it makes people not want to be around you. Try to just be positive about everything. If she complains, add a positive spin on it. Think in the 'it could be worse' mindset. This will improve everything about your social life, not just with women, but also with guy friends.
A find a gun/knife and a whispered "get in the van!" tends to work.
Now I've gotten rid of that... just be yourself bro. Starting a potential relationship on bullshit lies will only lead to problems once said strumpet (god I love that word) realises you were full of shit and just lying to get into her panties.
Now I've gotten rid of that... just be yourself bro. Starting a potential relationship on bullshit lies will only lead to problems once said strumpet (god I love that word) realises you were full of shit and just lying to get into her panties.
Thanks guys.
Self confidence is the magic I need to become a womanizer :-D
But what distinguishes self-confidence from rotten arrogance?
Self confidence is the magic I need to become a womanizer :-D
But what distinguishes self-confidence from rotten arrogance?
Hah! None taken. You're right on the money, but said therapists couldn't explain it either, so I'm assuming it's mostly harmless. If I do ever go on a killing spree, I owe you a coke! Jests aside, though, I appreciate your point. Thanks for the reality check - it'll probably save me from putting my little theory into practice.Turing said:
As for the confidence thing, I've found borderline arrogance mulled by (well-executed) self-derision to work quite well in my case. Arrogance can be funny as long as people are relatively sure you're not taking yourself seriously.
As for flirting itself, in my experience it's a bit of a game that's most fun when neither party is entirely sure that it's just a game and nothing more, or definitely more than that. Keeps it... exciting! Unpredictable!