Flirting
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If you suck at flirting its probably because you dont do it often enough.
Like anything practice makes perfect. Not everyone is handsome, and sorry to say it not everyone scores 8-10's maybe you need to lower your standards, if not to just get some practice... because there are girls out there starving for attention. They all are... but some of them are used to getting it more than others and unless your just disgustingly handsome or rich or smooth, it isnt going to happen.
Well... it could but i cant predict every miracle.
Like anything practice makes perfect. Not everyone is handsome, and sorry to say it not everyone scores 8-10's maybe you need to lower your standards, if not to just get some practice... because there are girls out there starving for attention. They all are... but some of them are used to getting it more than others and unless your just disgustingly handsome or rich or smooth, it isnt going to happen.
Well... it could but i cant predict every miracle.
The second hit included a section titled "How To Tell If He's Flirting With You". Included in this list was the following: "sways his pelvis".mrx19869 said:
Is this really an accurate identification of the male attempt to flirt? /sarcasm
Flirting is useless if the person has more substance than what they are wearing......Hey thats fairly witty (YAY!)
H'ok! *cracks knuckles*
With a quick check of your profile, I see that you are male. That's important because typical flirting techniques don't cross gender lines very nicely. I'm also assuming you are trying to attract a female. If I'm wrong, just ignore everything I'm about to say. I'm not familiar with gay flirting customs but I'm sure they aren't that different from stereotypical heterosexual traditions. We're all human after all.
Also I find it prudent to note that there is no sure-fire-never-fail-100%-guaranteed method of flirting. It just doesn't work that way. For things to click on both ends, 3 things have to occur:
1. You have to capture the person's interest. There are many ways of doing this, and quite often it's not necessarily what you said or how you look. It's usually the little things like your laugh or your smile. These are mostly things beyond your control, so don't openly try to be interesting. It's obvious and quite often has the opposite effect.
2. The person has to be attracted to you. Ok this is probably the scariest part. In order to be successful in this area, follow this general rule. Before you go out to a social gathering or where ever you plan on picking up chicks, shower, comb your hair into preferred style, pick a nice clean outfit and make sure it's not wrinkled or stained, brush your teeth and then forget about it. "WHAT?!" Yea, forget about it. "Well what if I'm a girl and I must check my make up and make sure my blouse still looks good and adjust my hair and.." No forget about it. And I don't mean let yourself gradually become messy looking over the course of the evening. JUST STOP WORRYING ABOUT IT! People always get so worked up about how they look and their body image and they get so insecure and that's just not attractive! There is someone out there for everyone. Believe me. If you think you're ugly or fat or just strange looking, I promise you there are uglier, fatter, weirder looking people who are happily married. Confidence is attractive. A sense of humour is attractive. Have lots of interesting and thought-provoking things to say is attractive. And hey if you're drop dead gorgeous, well that's just a bonus-but not essential.
3. You have to make a move. People argue this a lot. Generally it is believed that men always have to make the first move. Cosmopolitan magazine polled a bunch of men and found them to be almost unanimous in their belief that men must make the first move, and that women just seem desperate if they make the first move. I don't buy that. I think all is fair in love and war and love especially. It's a level playing field, especially this early in the game, so if you are interested and engaged in a person's company make a move! It's always funny to watch young teenagers try to flirt because both parties are too afraid to make a move. Making a move isn't complicated either. There are varying levels and usually you start out with a lower tier move such as the infamous arm touch. "Hahahaha that was a really good joke, Steve! while at the same time reaching out and touching their arm lightly and briefly to place emphasis on "good". Intentionally touching someone (obviously in a non-invaisive non-creepy way) sends all kinds of subconscious signals so it's a good way to let the person know that you are interested. And letting them know that you are interested is important, because it makes them feel more comfortable letting you know that they are interested as well. After a few of these lower tier moves are successful, you usually go for a more direct approach of say... suggesting to hang out another time in the near future or the exchanging of phone numbers. Some people think this is too much for the first time they meet someone but honestly how are you going to keep in contact?
Learn to pick up on signals. If someone seems preoccupied when you're talking to them, or they make up excuses why they can't hang out with you later or give you their number, they've probably picked up on the fact that you are interested and they themselves are not. And hey, let's face it. It's going to happen. Don't let it get you down. 95% of the time, it's something to do with them and not you. Maybe they are already in a relationship, or maybe they just aren't interested in one. Maybe they're in a bad mood. Maybe there's something stuck in your teeth. Try not to feel sad over it too much. Clearly they aren't your type, and even if they did agree to go out with you and be your girlfriend, you wouldn't be happy, because they wouldn't be happy. Move on to the next person-there are always going to be more people.
And lastly, lose the inhibitions. You should always ask yourself "what's the worst that could happen?" Let's consider this for a moment. They could say no to coffee. That's kind of disappointing. They could say no to coffee and laugh in your face. Well that's pretty insulting. That's makes you feel kinda shitty for a while. They could say no, laugh in your face, and then tell all their friends so that they can all get together and laugh about you in the corner. Well that just plain sucks ass. But put it into perspective. Was that the worst thing in the world? I've been hit by a car and that was worse then getting rejected by a boy. I know someone who had to get a kidney removed and has to get dialysis all the time. That's a very unfortunate fate and if they could trade getting rejected by some girl and laughed at by her friends and still have their other kidney they'd gladly take it. What about that guy in the Mummy movie who got eaten alive by giant scarab beetles? Don't fear rejection. There are worse things in the world and if someone makes you feel bad for taking an interest in them then it just goes to show you and everyone else in the room what an asshole they are and be grateful you dodged that bullet because who would want to be friends with them?
With a quick check of your profile, I see that you are male. That's important because typical flirting techniques don't cross gender lines very nicely. I'm also assuming you are trying to attract a female. If I'm wrong, just ignore everything I'm about to say. I'm not familiar with gay flirting customs but I'm sure they aren't that different from stereotypical heterosexual traditions. We're all human after all.
Also I find it prudent to note that there is no sure-fire-never-fail-100%-guaranteed method of flirting. It just doesn't work that way. For things to click on both ends, 3 things have to occur:
1. You have to capture the person's interest. There are many ways of doing this, and quite often it's not necessarily what you said or how you look. It's usually the little things like your laugh or your smile. These are mostly things beyond your control, so don't openly try to be interesting. It's obvious and quite often has the opposite effect.
2. The person has to be attracted to you. Ok this is probably the scariest part. In order to be successful in this area, follow this general rule. Before you go out to a social gathering or where ever you plan on picking up chicks, shower, comb your hair into preferred style, pick a nice clean outfit and make sure it's not wrinkled or stained, brush your teeth and then forget about it. "WHAT?!" Yea, forget about it. "Well what if I'm a girl and I must check my make up and make sure my blouse still looks good and adjust my hair and.." No forget about it. And I don't mean let yourself gradually become messy looking over the course of the evening. JUST STOP WORRYING ABOUT IT! People always get so worked up about how they look and their body image and they get so insecure and that's just not attractive! There is someone out there for everyone. Believe me. If you think you're ugly or fat or just strange looking, I promise you there are uglier, fatter, weirder looking people who are happily married. Confidence is attractive. A sense of humour is attractive. Have lots of interesting and thought-provoking things to say is attractive. And hey if you're drop dead gorgeous, well that's just a bonus-but not essential.
3. You have to make a move. People argue this a lot. Generally it is believed that men always have to make the first move. Cosmopolitan magazine polled a bunch of men and found them to be almost unanimous in their belief that men must make the first move, and that women just seem desperate if they make the first move. I don't buy that. I think all is fair in love and war and love especially. It's a level playing field, especially this early in the game, so if you are interested and engaged in a person's company make a move! It's always funny to watch young teenagers try to flirt because both parties are too afraid to make a move. Making a move isn't complicated either. There are varying levels and usually you start out with a lower tier move such as the infamous arm touch. "Hahahaha that was a really good joke, Steve! while at the same time reaching out and touching their arm lightly and briefly to place emphasis on "good". Intentionally touching someone (obviously in a non-invaisive non-creepy way) sends all kinds of subconscious signals so it's a good way to let the person know that you are interested. And letting them know that you are interested is important, because it makes them feel more comfortable letting you know that they are interested as well. After a few of these lower tier moves are successful, you usually go for a more direct approach of say... suggesting to hang out another time in the near future or the exchanging of phone numbers. Some people think this is too much for the first time they meet someone but honestly how are you going to keep in contact?
Learn to pick up on signals. If someone seems preoccupied when you're talking to them, or they make up excuses why they can't hang out with you later or give you their number, they've probably picked up on the fact that you are interested and they themselves are not. And hey, let's face it. It's going to happen. Don't let it get you down. 95% of the time, it's something to do with them and not you. Maybe they are already in a relationship, or maybe they just aren't interested in one. Maybe they're in a bad mood. Maybe there's something stuck in your teeth. Try not to feel sad over it too much. Clearly they aren't your type, and even if they did agree to go out with you and be your girlfriend, you wouldn't be happy, because they wouldn't be happy. Move on to the next person-there are always going to be more people.
And lastly, lose the inhibitions. You should always ask yourself "what's the worst that could happen?" Let's consider this for a moment. They could say no to coffee. That's kind of disappointing. They could say no to coffee and laugh in your face. Well that's pretty insulting. That's makes you feel kinda shitty for a while. They could say no, laugh in your face, and then tell all their friends so that they can all get together and laugh about you in the corner. Well that just plain sucks ass. But put it into perspective. Was that the worst thing in the world? I've been hit by a car and that was worse then getting rejected by a boy. I know someone who had to get a kidney removed and has to get dialysis all the time. That's a very unfortunate fate and if they could trade getting rejected by some girl and laughed at by her friends and still have their other kidney they'd gladly take it. What about that guy in the Mummy movie who got eaten alive by giant scarab beetles? Don't fear rejection. There are worse things in the world and if someone makes you feel bad for taking an interest in them then it just goes to show you and everyone else in the room what an asshole they are and be grateful you dodged that bullet because who would want to be friends with them?
Unless she brings it up, then it may be a good sign.orangebandguy said:
Also, it is a good idea to insult her mercilessly and make several racist comments. If you smoke, blow some at her so she know how cool you are. If you dont smoke, take it up
For anyone who prefers chewing tobacco, spit in front of her and make sure not to remove it when you go in for the kiss.
Coooooooopenhagen....
As depressing as it sounds it is my life and my decision to give up on relationships without ever experiencing one. All I ask is that you respect it. I don't mind if you disagree with my decision just please do not say whether it is wrong or right.Sark said:
Like I said it affects no one but me.
I totally agree. Although I'd say number 4 is more optional, or at least has been if my memory serves me right.MiracleOfSound said:
Good morning blues sums it up better than I've seen anywhere.Good morning blues said:
Also silliness, humor and the overall light-heartedness is important (unless that's something that is not you at all).
To be honest, flirting comes kinda naturally with self confidence. So what you should probably do is socialise more, gain confidence in talking with new people, and once you're there the rest comes fairly easily. If you're trying to flirt, you're doing it rong.
I swear flirting was more of a you won't realise you're doing it until you are sparkage.
Most 'techniques' probably only work in the movies.
Most 'techniques' probably only work in the movies.
Haha... i dont know why but when i read that it sounded like being rejected results in being eaten alive by scarab beetles... I'd have to say that would be very lame because everyone gets rejected. Even I have been rejected. Funny really the scarabs didnt hurt at all.PinkAngelKitty said:
Good advice by the way.
That's something I wonder about. I'm not into the whole touchy-feely thing unless I really trust a person, so what would consist of a nice 'move' then? The whole 'make a move' thing is probably the thing that confuses me the most. I can smile, I'm confident, be funny and all that or at least I try to be (afterall, there is never a guarantee that your flirting partner likes your style or sense of humour). But when it comes to that move-spiel, I'm at a loss.PinkAngelKitty said:
Isn't just asking to do something together once enough? I mean, that shows a certain interest in the other person, although I do see that he or she would not be sure if that would mean a romantic or friendly interest.
So how to make that difference without resorting to touching? All the touching I know and could do is giving someone a pat on the back or laying my hand on a shoulder.
Indeed.Ben Bazooka said:
It's a sidequest that boosts your stats for the main questline.
(nerdiest metaphor ever)