Flirting

[aPod]

Flirting is extreamly useful when atempting to start a relashonship.
My problem is that i'm pretty shit at it.
So i was wondering if you guys had and techniques for it at all.
I've heard occasional touching of the arm is good but i dont know.

Ok... im not even going to read anything else but what you said. And i'll just give you what i've learned from my experience.

First of all thier are different techniques but you need to controll your body language. Most women (and i do mean most, even shy ones.) dont like squeamish, shy pussies. Im sorry to be so blunt... but you are asking for advice.

You dont have to be aggressive just confident. Stand tall... chest out... dont cross your arms over you chest or try to shrink... try to look broad and dominate. Especially if you are skinny or short you are already at a bit of a disadvantage unless you have one of those girls into that, and yes there are girls like that. I've turned down by girls who i later saw with some skinny runt its all a matter of taste... bottom line, whatever your style be confident in yourself.

You could try messing with her, tease her... or tell a bad joke... if she laughs and plays along theres a good chance she's interested in you or she just has a horrible sense of humor. If thats happening you are golden boy. Again you dont need to be aggressive she already likes you or is interested, just ask her about her day, look her in the eye's or around her face... she'll pick up on that... so dont stare at her chest unless shes made it clear she wants you to look at her chest (like she's messing with her boobs or trying to open her shirt a bit to show more skin... that means she wants to look sexier for you but... you dont want to stare just glance if you absolutely have to.)

Watch her eyes as well... if she's glancing left and right... shes not interested or really shy... if she looks down and back up at you, or stared at your chest, or crotch, licks her lips, plays with her hair, starts rubbing her legs, arms, or hands... those are all good signs.

If shes interested she'll broadcast it... just remember women like to play games... alot of times they may be interested but they are never going to do anything with you and they just want you to make them feel sexy, women want to be looked at they want to feel desirable... oh heres another tip look at her make eyecontact... dont break eye contact first, you arent a wuss she'll look away and if she looks back at you again bingo... we have a hook in gentlemen. Time to start reeling... and im guessing this is where you have your real trouble. The conversation... its easy... you dont need a clever line or story, she knows you got balls you're tlaking to her... just introduce yourself and ask her about herself... its simple as that.

If its a girl you know, start simply... tell her she looks real pretty today. Done... just in and out, say it and continue on your way. Now she knows she has your approval...

Now the balls in her court...

I dont know you though... if you're creepy or awkward its alittle more difficult but its just another skill, another game... you have to change your perception of the whole flirting business. Its just a game to be played... those who are better at it score higher and more often.

The touching of the arm thing is good... as long as shes accepting of that. If she wants you to touch her she'll let you know... if she is touching you well hell man you're already in... unless its strictly friendship... but thats the first step alot of times. If you go to touch her and she backs away... or turns away... to the side... probably a mistake. Means shes uncomfortable... you dont want that obviously. If she is touching her arm or rubbing it, that probably means she wouldnt mind of you were touching her there.

Like i said though, women like to play games... she might do that with no interest in you at all. Its hard to say... you'd probably know unless your like zoned in, mega crush on one girl... in wich case slap yourself right now... you are just making it harder on yourself.

 

[zohmbee]

I only flirt with my friend, and we're just playing. I think...I'll have to ask him.

But just talking to them helps.

 

[icyfresh]

coupe things..
in txt BE SWEET, kinda horney though
if she txts u before u wake up say that the best thing u could imagine is hearing a angels voice in the morning.. or hearing her txts lolz.
if wit her... idk give me tips,
TXTING SPECIALIST OUT!!
ps recore at 14 sexts in 4 days and i met the girl on the first day

 

[aPod]

Just walk up to her and whip it out. She'll totally fall for you.

thats totally depends on wether shes a nympho or not though...

 

[Klepa]

If you can play guitar you can play bass though. They're even tuned much the same. Just cross-skill.

But I'm still not an authentic Bass Player. There's that strange, incredibly cool novelty factor that comes with being a Bass Player, which shall always remain out of my grasp.

 

[BonsaiK]

If you can play guitar you can play bass though. They're even tuned much the same. Just cross-skill.

But I'm still not an authentic Bass Player. There's that strange, incredibly cool novelty factor that comes with being a Bass Player, which shall always remain out of my grasp.

Girls don't care about that though. They just like to see you hold a big instrument in your hand and make low boomy noises. If you only ever play bass in a band who's gonna even know you play guitar as well?

 

[Azure-Supernova]

Yeah, when it comes to flirting I seem to do it without noticing. Counterproductively, I'm oblivious to flirting.

 

[Spineyguy]

There's one girl who doesn't flirt with me at all. But she sent one of her friends into the shop where I work to see me a couple of times. I never got to see this friend though, so all I have to go on is what I've been told by my colleges.

Apparently she just asks where I am, then when someone tells her I'm up stairs, she blushes and leaves.

It's weird as hell, but intrigueing nonetheless.

I don't know if this is a very subtle troll and if I say anything you'll argue, or some form of joke.

Nevertheless, I'll risk stepping into a trap to state this:This girl probably doesn't exist and it's some people messing with you.

Actually that wouldn't surprise me at all. But a man can dream can't he?

Besides, I have got her name, and I see her just about every week, so if she wants to say anything she can.

Are you dissappointed that I'm not trolling?

 

[SimuLord]

Yeah, when it comes to flirting I seem to do it without noticing. Counterproductively, I'm oblivious to flirting.

I wish I could tell the difference between "she wants me to jump her bones" and "she's just being nice." Confusing one for the other has got me in trouble over the years (but then again, it's also gotten me laid. So it's a double-edged sword. I just wish I'd guess right more often.)

 

[xDarc]

Asking a girl "to go out with you" is fucking juvenile.

Going up to a girl to show her how cool you are and trying to win her with compliments isn't much of a step up either.

I just say hello and make an observation or an inquiry; related to something that appears to be interesting about her or the circumstance. Try to avoid senseless questions such as, "Do you come here often?"

Take time for a thoughtful response to what they say. Allow time for them to respond. If you find you're having to do most of the talking or her responses are brief, just bail with something casual. There's only two times where they'll ever stop you from bailing so quickly. When they're shy or desperate.

If you get one that is engaging you and responding thoughtfully- congratz! You've got a live one. All you have to do is be yourself and pay attention to the rhythm. When things eventually slow down and you get those awkward silences- see if you can transition into doing something else. If they're not up for anything else, just offer/ask your/her number and a suggestion you go do whatever together sometime and then bail or work towards bailing.

Another thing I do is the eye contact/smile test. It's a preliminary screening method. Make eye contact with a girl and give her your best disarming, boyish grin. If she smiles back go say hi. If she pretends she's Ray Charles or an ostrich and starts looking at the ceiling or floor- forget it.

 

[xDarc]

Yeah, when it comes to flirting I seem to do it without noticing. Counterproductively, I'm oblivious to flirting.

I wish I could tell the difference between "she wants me to jump her bones" and "she's just being nice." Confusing one for the other has got me in trouble over the years (but then again, it's also gotten me laid. So it's a double-edged sword. I just wish I'd guess right more often.)

Well you really won't know most times. The only time you have a chance at getting laid the first time is when you attempt to leave or move things elsewhere and they go along with it or ask you to stay.

And if she moves things for you- you are so in. lol.

 

[end_boss]

To be honest, I don't think I can really give any tips. Sometimes I can flirt really well with a girl, sometimes I can't. I don't even know how/why I can, when I do. It boils down to the individual girl, and if the chemistry is just there, then the flirting comes out naturally.

 

[havass]

I have no idea how to give advice. For me it's pretty natural.

Still...

Smile. Alot. And do it naturally. Don't go barging in on her with a huge grin on your face like you just came out of the mental hospital.

 

[Woodsey]

If you're a guy, go to Askmen.com...or ask your dad.

If you're a girl, go grab Redbook or Cosmopolitan...or ask your mom.

God no don't ask your parents xD

Its easy - a couple of looks, some sex puns, that's it. Don't be serious/full on.

And try doing it at a party where everyone's feeling more chilled.

 

[Sark]

My best advice is to talk to her like she is a human being, this works.

 

[Randvek]

Be up front; there's tons of pressure to act first, just doing something to show interest makes things a lot easier. If you're waiting for the right time, don't, cause it won't happen. Be a little subtle, nobody likes someone who comes on too strong. Don't be too subtle, nobody likes someone who never gets their point across and keeps you guessing.

Just remember: you can't get what you want if nobody knows what you want.

 

[Gabanuka]

Never tried it, probebly fail at it.

 

[Aunel]

I don't know jack shit about flirting.

just talk to them, and pretend like you are a caring person, it works wonders.

What do you mean "pretend"? I AM a caring person.

I tried to appeal to most people here on the Escapist, and most people here on the escapist are cynic teens (I am one of them), and caring is not one of the things we do.

Except about bass....right?

you got that right =D

 

[Guitar Gamer]

You can usually get away with anything as long as you don't start sweating profusely, piss yourself, puke on her then run away crying.

Just don't do any (or all) of those things ans you have a good chance