Food Offshoots That Disgrace the Original

[Reginald the Butler]

Wondering around a convenience store the other day, I was looking for a refreshing soda to have before class. Being a fan of Mountain Dew, I decided that a bottle of Dew would be perfect. Unfortunately, I grabbed

Spoiler: this monster

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by mistake. What is this monstrosity?!! Everyone knows Mountain Dew is basically sugar water, and you have removed half of it's very essence!

So, my fellow escapists, tell me one of your favorite foods/beverages that has become "corrupted" is some way.


(Yes this is all opinion-based and is not meant to be taken too seriously)

 

[Hazy992]

You have been presented with a false idol!

Spoiler: This is not bacon

That is heathen strips of fat masquerading as bacon!

Spoiler: THIS is bacon!

Notice the actual meat?

 

[Daystar Clarion]

You have been presented with a false idol!

Spoiler: This is not bacon

That is heathen strips of fat masquerading as bacon!

Spoiler: THIS is bacon!

Notice the actual meat?

/thread


The meat to fat ratio of American bacon is just wrong on so many levels.

 

[Rastien]

Ah America you and your "bacon"

 

[Dags90]

You have been presented with a false idol!

Spoiler: This is not bacon

That is heathen strips of fat masquerading as bacon!

Spoiler: THIS is bacon!

Notice the actual meat?

I like both at different times. Maybe a little be more partial to "rashers", but they're pretty rare here in the states.

Spoiler: Don't forget Canadian bacon.

It's not bacon at all! That's ham.

Spoiler: Pizza.

Spoiler: Bread with tomato sauce and cheese.

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

You have been presented with a false idol!

Spoiler: This is not bacon

That is heathen strips of fat masquerading as bacon!

Spoiler: THIS is bacon!

Notice the actual meat?

My god... you...you mean that is what most Americans are talking about when they express their love for bacon? The poor, deluded fools.

 

[Hazy992]

You have been presented with a false idol!

Spoiler: This is not bacon

That is heathen strips of fat masquerading as bacon!

Spoiler: THIS is bacon!

Notice the actual meat?

My god... you...you mean that is what most Americans are talking about when they express their love for bacon? The poor, deluded fools.

I know, it really is the biggest tragedy of our times. Embrace the rasher, America! There are greener pastures still...

 

[Hero in a half shell]

You have been presented with a false idol!

Spoiler: This is not bacon

That is heathen strips of fat masquerading as bacon!

Spoiler: THIS is bacon!

Notice the actual meat?

My god... you...you mean that is what most Americans are talking about when they express their love for bacon? The poor, deluded fools.

I know we slag them off a lot, but... all this time I never knew.

Those poor, poor, people.

 

[Reginald the Butler]

I also must say diet Dr Pepper, am I cheating for using a drink?

Nope, drinks are fair game. (As my opening post shows)

 

[Esotera]

Bacon general?

The co-op used to make these really awesome frozen pizzas, but then discontinued the range, put the price up by £1, and made them smaller. If I ever find the person who did that there will be blood.

More seriously, I'm going to say pretty much any form of fruit cider that isn't a local brewery. Brothers cider & strawberry cider are just sugary alcopops for pussies and we should refuse to drink that crap.

 

[Launcelot111]

Spoiler: this is barbecue

Spoiler: this is not barbecue

Stupid non-southerners mislead me by not understanding this distinction far too often.

 

[Jazoni89]

You have been presented with a false idol!

Spoiler: This is not bacon

That is heathen strips of fat masquerading as bacon!

Spoiler: THIS is bacon!

Notice the actual meat?

definitely the greatest tragedy of our time... :'( I lose sleep about it every single day.

Also I've heard american bread is extremely sweet for some odd reason. That's not even mentioning the American bastardization of cheese, which can't even really be called cheese in a sense. Just some sliced food colouring, and artificial flavours.

Sorry America, you may be awesome at other things, but food you are not.

Bacon general?

The co-op used to make these really awesome frozen pizzas, but then discontinued the range, put the price up by £1, and made them smaller. If I ever find the person who did that there will be blood.

More seriously, I'm going to say pretty much any form of fruit cider that isn't a local brewery. Brothers cider & strawberry cider are just sugary alcopops for pussies and we should refuse to drink that crap.

What about Kopparberg?

I don't care if i'm a flipping pussy, it's the best damn alcohol I've tasted. I could drink a truckload of this stuff. Compared to strongbow which takes me about two pints to get sick of it.

 

[Launcelot111]

Also I've heard american bread is extremely sweet for some odd reason. That's not even mentioning the American bastardization of cheese, which can't even really be called cheese in a sense. Just some sliced food colouring, and artificial flavours.

Sorry America, you may be awesome at other things, but food you are not.

But combine those two things with some cheap butter substitute and a frying pan and you have one of the most delicious foods ever invented.

 

[Jazoni89]

Also I've heard american bread is extremely sweet for some odd reason. That's not even mentioning the American bastardization of cheese, which can't even really be called cheese in a sense. Just some sliced food colouring, and artificial flavours.

Sorry America, you may be awesome at other things, but food you are not.

But combine those two things with some cheap butter substitute and a frying pan and you have one of the most delicious foods ever invented.

What?

You mean bread and "cheese" in a frying pan? What kind of devil sorcery is that! That is what a grill is used for.

That's even stranger than PB & J, or that chicken burger in a chicken burger you guys can get at KFC...

(The double down i think it is...)

[small]...I think i might have to try that sometime.[/small]

 

[Tiger Sora]

I'd like to bring up the issue of what we call hamburgers "ham"burgers.
It's usually made out of beef!
//Damn Germans//

 

[mjcabooseblu]

Wow, suddenly this turned into a whole "America sucks" thread. You do realize there's just as much shitty food in your countries too, right? If you only focus on the negative, everything seems shitty. There's plenty of good American food that people have actively ignored here. Speaking of American products that outclass other, American beer. Oh, what's that, you cry? Lower alcohol content? No, and actually thinking that is stupid. American alcohol content is measured by weight, while most other countries measure by volume. It makes American beer appear to be weaker when in many cases it's stronger. But enough about alcohol content, let's get to the real point: Lone Star is the best beer you will ever drink, and the only dissenters I've met are people that have yet to actually try it.

 

[GTwander]

Simmer down!

Our bacon is a use of trash backfat, and our cheese is a use of oils and various chemicals.
~and you all go on about how we are such a wasteful nation. Psh.

 

[Dags90]

What?

You mean bread and "cheese" in a frying pan? What kind of devil sorcery is that! That is what a grill is used for.

If you have one you can use a griddle, too. Also, "sandwich toasters" don't exist in American kitchens. We use inferior (but space saving?) toasting devices that only take bread. You'll find no "toasties" here.

I'd like to bring up the issue of what we call hamburgers "ham"burgers.
It's usually made out of beef!
//Damn Germans//

It could be worse. In Sweden, "hamburgerkött" (lit: hamburger meat) refers to horse meat. I'm not unconvinced this isn't a clever plan to trick unsuspecting tourists.