Food Offshoots That Disgrace the Original

[Jazoni89]

What?

You mean bread and "cheese" in a frying pan? What kind of devil sorcery is that! That is what a grill is used for.

If you have one you can use a griddle, too. Also, "sandwich toasters" don't exist in American kitchens. We use inferior (but space saving?) toasting devices that only take bread. You'll find no "toasties" here.

I mean an Oven grill.

I've never had a sandwich toaster ever. I don't eat enough cheese on toast for that.

Spoiler: this is barbecue

Spoiler: this is not barbecue

Stupid non-southerners mislead me by not understanding this distinction far too often.

The bottom one is called "grilling", and i hate it just as much as you do... my girlfriend calls it a barbeque... so annoying! (She's from Canada btw)

The bottom picture is a barbecue, or at least that's what it's called in the UK, and pretty much everywhere else in the world, especially the Aussies who love their barbies.

Wow talk about culture confusion!

 

[GTwander]

What?

You mean bread and "cheese" in a frying pan? What kind of devil sorcery is that! That is what a grill is used for.

If you have one you can use a griddle, too. Also, "sandwich toasters" don't exist in American kitchens. We use inferior (but space saving?) toasting devices that only take bread. You'll find no "toasties" here.

I mean an Oven grill.

...please don't say you don't have them in the US?

I've never had a sandwich toaster ever.

We have panini presses... but nobody currently owns one.
The typical standard is something we once made a movie out of;

"The Brave Little Rotisserie"

 

[EmperorSubcutaneous]

That's not even mentioning the American bastardization of cheese, which can't even really be called cheese in a sense. Just some sliced food colouring, and artificial flavours.

Hey now, that's just what's called "American cheese." Tillamook cheddar from Oregon is wonderful, and was voted best cheddar in the world. (Also, Californian wines win blind taste-tests over French wines. )

For a bastardization of a bastardization, I saw a vegan American cheese substitute in a store the other day. If you don't have to eat it, you shouldn't! Why put yourself through that?!

 

[Jazoni89]

That's not even mentioning the American bastardization of cheese, which can't even really be called cheese in a sense. Just some sliced food colouring, and artificial flavours.

Hey now, that's just what's called "American cheese." Tillamook cheddar from Oregon is wonderful, and was voted best cheddar in the world. (Also, Californian wines win blind taste-tests over French wines. )

For a bastardization of a bastardization, I saw a vegan American cheese substitute in a store the other day. If you don't have to eat it, you shouldn't! Why put yourself through that?!

I guess if you look in the right places you can find some proper cheese, but the processed stuff is what I suppose most Americans identify cheese as.

 

[excalipoor]

Diet Coke and Coke Zero are just downright disgusting. If I can't have the real thing, I'd rather just drink water.

Well, that goes for all diet sodas I suppose...

 

[MetalMagpie]

You have been presented with a false idol!

Spoiler: This is not bacon

That is heathen strips of fat masquerading as bacon!

Spoiler: THIS is bacon!

Notice the actual meat?

This one speaks the truth. *solemn nod*

Now I want some bacon...

 

[Scars Unseen]

No quiero Taco Bell.

Also, this is not sushi

Spoiler

Notice the absence of actual fish(imitation crab does not count)?

This is sushi.

Spoiler

Here the fish is actually touching the platter. I miss Osaka(Okinawan portions are less generous).

 

[Tanis]

Anything from Taco Bell is NOT true Mexican Food.

It is an abomination, a slur of the highest degree.

 

[thesilentman]

Bacon!

Ammy demands bacon!

I'm a primarily a vegetarian, and I agree very much. Your guys' bacon looks more delicious than anything that America could ever make. SUCK IT, America! You have the shittiest food knockoffs I've ever seen. Adding goddamn oil and meat doesn't make everything better! SO SUCK IT, America! With your shitty food knockoffs that make grown men piss themselves...

/Insulting_America

The funny thing is, I live in America. :-D

OT- People need to eat true Indian food in India, that stuff is delicious. The stuff that you're led to believe is Indian food is disgusting, because of the insane amount of curry (the spice).

 

[Scars Unseen]

You know, America has some really good food. Amazing dishes that make my mouth water just to think of them. It's just that when we adapt the food of other cultures, we seems to always put them through a filter of salt, grease and cost effective ingredients. And it shows.

 

[soren7550]

Also, this is not sushi

Spoiler

Notice the absence of actual fish(imitation crab does not count)?

Not sure how correct I am about this, but at the Japanese place I go to, they call those sushi rolls, so that's probably a different beast when compared to real sushi. It's still called sushi, so perhaps people are getting mixed up? Then again, that could just be the place I go to.

Anyway, the only offshoot I can think of is this:

Spoiler: This is Coca Cola

Wonderfully refreshing it is.

Spoiler: And this is its disgusting offshoot

No. Just no.

 

[ohnoitsabear]

Also I've heard american bread is extremely sweet for some odd reason. That's not even mentioning the American bastardization of cheese, which can't even really be called cheese in a sense. Just some sliced food colouring, and artificial flavours.

Sorry America, you may be awesome at other things, but food you are not.

But combine those two things with some cheap butter substitute and a frying pan and you have one of the most delicious foods ever invented.

There is so much truth to this post. I've tried using real bread and cheese for it, but it just doesn't work as well.

 

[Lyri]

You have been presented with a false idol!

Spoiler: This is not bacon

That is heathen strips of fat masquerading as bacon!

Spoiler: THIS is bacon!

Notice the actual meat?

Agreed, here in Ireland, we call those "Rashers" and my god are they glorious! American bacon is nice...but 50% fat is hanging off it!

Speaking of which, guess what I found in the fridge and guess what I am having tonight!

THIS
ONE THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES THIS!

Your streaky bacon shit you guys get is fucking appalling. My fiancee visited me from the USA a couple of years back, it took one bacon and egg sandwich to convert her.
I've even looked into laws about how to send over packages (you can't) of bacon, we did however find a supplier of bacon to order from.

Whenever I see a post about bacon that has the streaky bacon, I despair. You have no idea what you're actually missing.
You know nothing, nothing at all about bacon.

 

[Scars Unseen]

Also, this is not sushi

Spoiler

Notice the absence of actual fish(imitation crab does not count)?

Not sure how correct I am about this, but at the Japanese place I go to, they call those sushi rolls, so that's probably a different beast when compared to real sushi. It's still called sushi, so perhaps people are getting mixed up? Then again, that could just be the place I go to.

Roll sushi (maki) is sushi. California rolls(the one without any fish) are not sushi. They're stand-ins that people who dislike fish get when their friend insists on dragging them to a sushi joint for lunch. They are the near equivalent of vegan burgers.

Oh yeah, there's another one.

 

[likalaruku]

If I ever meet someone who tells me that's Lists' Truffle Gnocchi is garbage because it uses affordable Chinese Truffles instead of the pretentious French ones only rich people can afford, I'm going to punch them in the eye with brass knuckles, because that gnocchi is to die for.

Other than that, cheap honey, vinegar, & olive oil that you buy in chain grocery stores. If the olive oil costs less than $8 a bottle & comes in a clear glass or any color plastic bottle, it's a cheap blend with maybe 10% actual olive oil. Processed clover honey has nothing on raw honey where the bees' sugar source comes from fruit or tea flowers.

I absolutely agree with everyone who says California Rolls are the worst kind of sushi. There's no salmon, no mackerel, no fatty tuna, no yellowtail, no roe, no eel, no squid, no giant clam, no octopus.

 

[soren7550]

Also, this is not sushi

Spoiler

Notice the absence of actual fish(imitation crab does not count)?

Not sure how correct I am about this, but at the Japanese place I go to, they call those sushi rolls, so that's probably a different beast when compared to real sushi. It's still called sushi, so perhaps people are getting mixed up? Then again, that could just be the place I go to.

Roll sushi (maki) is sushi. California rolls(the one without any fish) are not sushi. They're stand-ins that people who dislike fish get when their friend insists on dragging them to a sushi joint for lunch. They are the near equivalent of vegan burgers.

Oh yeah, there's another one.

Eh, like I said, I could be wrong.

Hell, I don't even go there for the sushi (boyfriend does though, so I should probably ask him about it), but their chicken and fried ice cream is to die for.

 

[saintdane05]

Did someone call?

 

[Lyri]

Wow, suddenly this turned into a whole "America sucks" thread. You do realize there's just as much shitty food in your countries too, right? If you only focus on the negative, everything seems shitty. There's plenty of good American food that people have actively ignored here. Speaking of American products that outclass other, American beer. Oh, what's that, you cry? Lower alcohol content? No, and actually thinking that is stupid. American alcohol content is measured by weight, while most other countries measure by volume. It makes American beer appear to be weaker when in many cases it's stronger. But enough about alcohol content, let's get to the real point: Lone Star is the best beer you will ever drink, and the only dissenters I've met are people that have yet to actually try it.

Taking things a little seriously here, it isn't really an "America" sucks thread but when you have more products to knock off, what do you expect?

Also American beer just tastes crap.

 

[lord canti]

So where can one get that delicious looking bacon in America? There has to be a site I can order it from?