Fortunately/Unfortunately

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, the company goes bankrupt.

 

[Da_Schwartz]

Fortunatley all of his money is tied up overseas in swiss bank accounts

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, the Swiss have decided that they don't like him anymore.

 

[Da_Schwartz]

Fortunatley he owns an escape pod.

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, it's in the shop.

 

[slevin8989]

Fortunately the shop delivers and he escapes

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, he escapes into a pungee pit.

 

[Lost In The Void]

Fortunately he grabs onto the edge and pulls himself up

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, the edge is covered in swords.

 

[Lost In The Void]

Fortunately the man is a dual arm amputee and his artificial limbs are a metal of some sort

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, his arms are so heavy he cannot lift himself up.

 

[Lost In The Void]

Fortunately Superman swoops down to save him and carries him to safety in a loving caress

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, the "loving caress" is different for people with his degree of strength, and he breaks his face.

 

[Lost In The Void]

Fortunately a plastic surgeon lives by who can repair his face...as part of Free Canadian Health Care

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, there is a long wait.

 

[Lost In The Void]

Fortunately the man is sponsered by private interests and is sent in front of everyone

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, on the way to the front of the line, the rest of the people stab him in the back as he passes them.

 

[Lost In The Void]

Fortunately the man dies thus ending the torment of his life

A man Unfortunately jumped out of a plane without a parachute

 

[Neonbob]

Fortunately, he is made of springs.

 

[Lost In The Void]

Unfortunately he heads right back up to space