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I main Chrome, but I think Firefox has better incognito mode.Hal10k said:
For...
Planning surprise parties.
:0 BULLET STORM!
Oh god i loved that game. I was top 10 on the leaderboards before all the Hackers hit the game.
*fumbles around photobucket*
Oh man, i loved that game. Possibly one of my favorite ever produced :3
Since this is a giveaway, and this happy memory has been brought back to me, who wants my 75% EVE Online: Crucible? I dont feel like im ever going to play it again, so i really dont need it.
First person who wants it, reply and its yours!
Oh god i loved that game. I was top 10 on the leaderboards before all the Hackers hit the game.
*fumbles around photobucket*
Oh man, i loved that game. Possibly one of my favorite ever produced :3
Since this is a giveaway, and this happy memory has been brought back to me, who wants my 75% EVE Online: Crucible? I dont feel like im ever going to play it again, so i really dont need it.
First person who wants it, reply and its yours!
I had to crop that part out of it since I couldn't get the entire thing under the avatar size limit. Besides I think what it loops better than if I added the explosionscornedbythenine said:i was watching your avatar, waiting for an explosionstaika said:
throwing in a Super Monday Night Combat beta key and some TF2 items if people would like
also a hat redeem code for Rift
also a hat redeem code for Rift
To keep up with the spirit of giving I have 2 copies of Fallout: New Vegas to give away on steam. First two people to pm me with e-mail address or steam name get them.
Edit:
No copies left of Fallout: NV
And I've just noticed there's a copy of Renegade Ops plus dlc up for grabs as well.
Edit:
No copies left of Fallout: NV
And I've just noticed there's a copy of Renegade Ops plus dlc up for grabs as well.
I've just entered, Hope i win *crosses fingers*
You're awesome btw.
will the longer stories get the edge in this or is a short one just as good?
You're awesome btw.
will the longer stories get the edge in this or is a short one just as good?
Finally finished my story that took me most of the day to write but I had fun writing it so it was worth it. I'll post it here as well just in case anyone wants to read it. Warning it's pretty long as it took me almost 6 pages in word.
?An audience with the king, this must be important if he wants to meet me in person.? Sir Mushroom thought to himself while traveling to the castle. ?Sir Mushroom where are we heading?? Squire Sausage asked. Sir Mushroom looked over to Squire Sausage who had been with him for most of his knighthood. ?Well Sausage, the king has summoned me to the castle. He hasn?t told me why but it must be important if he wants to meet face to face.? Sir Mushroom answered. ?WHAT!? The king summoned you to his castle?? Sausage shouted in surprise. ?Now now sausage we can?t have you freaking out like that when we meet the king. You must remain calm when we meet the king since I still don?t know why he wanted to meet me face to face.? Mushroom answered again in a calm tone. ?I?m sorry sir Mushroom, I will remain calm when we meet the king.? Sasuage said in a soft tone.
The rest of the trip was a quiet one until the two made it to the castle. The castle was a large stone castle that showed its rich history in every stone, it was also very strong just like its rulers. ?HALT! Who goes there?? one of the guards of the large door questioned. ?Sir Mushroom, The king summoned me.? Sir Mushroom answered a little nervous from the large spears the guards were holding. ?Sir Mushroom?? The guard said questioningly looking over to the other guard. The other guard nodded his head in response. ?You may pass Sir Mushroom.? The other guard said allowing the two to pass.
The two walked into the castle and were amazed by the room they walked into. The two were looking around in awe when a green olive walked up to them. ?You must be Sir Mushroom. I am one of the king?s attendants but you can just call me olive.? The olive said greeting the two and extending his hand to Sir Mushroom. Sir Mushroom did not like Olives because they tended to be two faced and quick to backstab you but he could not let his personal feelings get in the way. ?Yes I am, It?s nice to meet you.? Sir Mushroom said shaking Olive?s hand. ?The king is waiting for you and we should not keep him waiting. If you would follow me I will bring you to the king.? Olive said leading the two to the throne room.
Sir Mushroom was impressed with the layout of the castle and all the decorations gave it a fancy feeling. The group then came to a door and olive suddenly stopped and turned around to the two with a serious look on his face. ?This is the throne room; when you meet the king make sure you are on your best behavior. If you disrespect the king I will make sure you never live to see the light of day again.? Olive said in complete seriousness. Mushroom and Sausage both nodded their heads and olive opened the door to the throne room allowing the two to enter. The first thing they noticed about the room is that there were a lot of stairs to the throne and the king was sitting on his throne looking down at the three that just entered.
?King Bacon I bring you Sir Mushroom and his companion.? Olive announced kneeling to the king. The king looked down at the two new faces; he looked them over before speaking. ?Sir Mushroom before I tell you anything, who is your companion.? King Bacon asked in a thunderous voice staring directly at Squire Sausage. ?This is my squire, his name is sausage and he has been my companion for the past few years your lordship.? Sir Mushroom responded in a calm tone. ?Well if you trust him then he can stay.? King Bacon responded in a softer tone. ?Now onto business. Sir mushroom do you know why I summoned you here?? King Bacon asked. ?No I do not but I thought that it must be important if you were to summon me here to meet face to face.? Sir Mushroom answered. ?You are right, have you ever heard the story of the Holy Plate?? King Bacon asked in a serious tone. ?You mean the fairy tale of the magical plate that takes you to heaven?? Sir Mushroom asked not knowing where the king was going.
?Yes and it seems that it is more than just a simple fairy tale. A few days ago I received a letter from one of our outposts that they found the Holy Plate but we have not heard of them since. We do not know if this is a false report or not but we would like you to investigate this.? King Bacon explained. ?As you wish your lordship, we will head out immediately.? Sir Mushroom said kneeling to the king. ?Excellent, Olive will tell you where to go and who to talk to. If you succeed in this mission there could be big things for you.? King Bacon said before the three left the throne room.
?The message came from an outpost to the south, when you get there speak with Commander Pineapple he will tell you where to search. If you take the path to the south you should get there in a day or so. Any questions?? Olive said right after they left the throne room and were walking towards the door they came in. ?None, we will find out what happened to the soldiers who disappeared and discover if the holy plate is real.? Sir Mushroom responded. ?Very good.? Olive said while they walked out of the castle towards a stable. ?Your best bet would be to go down this road, it will take you more than a day to get there so make sure you make up a camp before it gets too dark.? Olive explained pointing the two to the correct road to take. ?Thank you Olive, we will head out now. Thanks for your help.? Sir mushroom said before the two took off on their adventure. Olive couldn?t of been happier as he watched the two walk down the road, A sinister smile broke on his face before heading back into the castle.
Sir Mushroom and Squire Sausage had a boring walk towards the outpost and before they knew it it was starting to get dark so they decided to make a camp for the night. ?Sausage, you?ve been checking for people following us right?? Mushroom asked as he was trying to start a fire in a clearing they found. ?Yes sir, I did not see anyone following us. Do you feel like someone would be following us?? Sausage asked. ?I think olive might try to wait until we find the holy plate and then take it for himself.? Mushroom answered. ?Why would you think that? Olive didn?t seem like the type of person who would do such a thing.? Sausage said in a concerned tone. ?Well all the olive?s I know are two faced and I won?t take the risk with him being different.? Mushroom answered honestly. ?Sir Mushroom that is very racist of you. You shouldn?t judge someone on race just because of a few bad ones.? Sausage said a little shocked at the reasoning sir mushroom gave to him. ?It?s better to be safe than sorry. If nothing happens than I was wrong and nothing will happen but if I?m right and we don?t take caution then he could kill us while we least expect it.? Mushroom explained. ?Well that is true, but that doesn?t mean I have to approve of this!? sausage said lashing out a little. ?I don?t care if you approve or not I just care that we are safe.? Mushroom said. The rest of the night was spent in silence as the two could not start up a conversation like they normally do.
The next day the two continued on their quest and after a few hours they made it to the outpost without an incident which bothered Sir Mushroom. The two walked up to the wooden gate and no one seemed to have seen them and the two looked at each other wondering what they should do. ?What should we do sir mushroom? No one seems to be here.? Sausage asked a little concerned. ?I don?t know maybe I can try shouting and see if that gets their attention.? Mushroom responded. ?HELLO!? THIS IS SIR MUSHROOM IS ANYONE THERE!?? Mushroom shouted at the top of his voice trying to get a response.
?OI! THIS IS COMMANDER PINEAPPLE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!?? A voice from inside the outpost shouted back. ?WE WERE SENT BY THE KING TO GET INFO ON THE HOLY PLATE!? Mushroom answered. ?HOLY PLATE!? WHY DIDN?T YOU SAY SO EARLIER? HOLD ON I?LL LET YOU IN.? The voice shouted back before the gate started to open. The two walked in and they saw this very large pineapple, besides the giant pineapple they noticed that the outpost seemed to be devoid of life. ?Well hello there my name is commander pineapple. I?m sorry about not opening the gate for you when you got here as you can probably tell I?m the only one here.? The pineapple stated in a cheerful tone. ?I wondered why there was no one else here but I was told that you would have information about the holy plate for us.? Mushroom said looking around the outpost.
?Oh that, I do have some information about the holy plate for you. It all happened about two weeks ago when we saw this large object come falling out of the sky. I sent a few soldiers to go check it out but only one came back. He told me that the group found a large plate like object and when the group went to check it out the rest of the group was taken by the plate into the sky. Poor boy was the only one left and he rushed back to tell me what happened. I sent the rest of my soldiers to go check it out but they haven?t returned either so I assumed that the holy plate took them into the sky as well.? Pineapple explained. ?What happened to the soldier that survived?? Mushroom asked. ?Poor broccoli, the kid went crazy and I found his dead body a few days after he returned. He tried to deep fry himself and his body couldn?t take the abuse and he died.? Pineapple answered in a sad tone.
?I?m sorry that you had to lose a soldier like that.? Mushroom said trying to make pineapple feel better. ?BAH, I don?t need cheering up I hated that guy anyway he was a little too squirrely for my liking.? Pineapple said in a fiery tone. ?Well you sounded like you were mourning him.? Mushroom said a little taken aback. ?ME MOURINING BROCCOLI!? Don?t make me laugh I was happy the bastard is dead, he just didn?t have to ruin my deep fryer in the process!? Pineapple shouted. ?Well can you just tell us where the holy plate was so we can go check it out?? Mushroom asked wanting to get away from pineapple. ?It was in a field to the east, just follow the tracks that my other soldiers left they should lead you there.? Pineapple responded pointing to the east. ?Thank you for your help.? Mushroom said before the two of them left.
?Nosey little bastard.? Pineapple said to himself after he was sure that they were gone. ?Thank you for the information Commander Pineapple.? A voice said. ?What who are... The black knight!?? Pineapple said in disbelief as he saw the figure in black armor before him. ?Yes I am the black knight and you have given me all the information I wanted and now you?re useless.? The black knight said. ?Wait a second can?t you just let me live I won?t tell anyone about you.? Pineapple said in a panic. ?I?m sorry I can?t let you live, I can?t take the risk that you would keep your word. Besides I love pineapple juice.? The black knight said in a sadistic voice.
Sir Mushroom and Squire Sausage were a good distance away when sir mushroom suddenly stopped. ?What is it mushroom?? Sausage asked a little confused as to why mushroom stopped. ?I thought I just heard pineapple scream, it must have been nothing. Let?s continue towards the holy plate.? Mushroom responded after stopping for a second and looking back at the direction of the outpost. ?Are you sure sir I didn?t hear anything. But if you say not to worry about it I won?t.? Sausage said a little skeptical of what mushroom said. A ways behind the two the black knight was following with a sword that still had the pineapple juice on it from the black knight?s last kill.
After an hour of walking the two came on a large clearing in the field and they saw what they had been searching for. ?The holy plate it is real.? Mushroom said in disbelief. The two were looking upon a giant white plate just sitting in the field and they could just tell it was the holy plate. ?Sir Mushroom we shouldn?t get too close to it or we might be taken away as well.? Sausage said quickly to make sure that mushroom didn?t get too close to the holy plate. The two then heard laughing from behind them and when they looked back they saw the black knight.
?The holy plate, I?ve been searching for this my entire life and now it?s within my grasp.? The black knight said walking towards the two. ?The black knight! I won?t let you have the holy plate it belongs to the King!? Mushroom said placing himself between the black knight and sausage. ?Oh and you?re going to stop me? I?d hate to tell you but it was you that led me the entire way here.? The black knight stated. ?What!? There is no way that I led you here! I had my squire checking for people following us!? Mushroom snapped back. ?I never followed you, I was the one that pointed you to Commander Pineapple.? The black knight said. ?That means that you must be the king?s attendant the green olive.? Mushroom said sure that it was him. ?HEHEHE you are right I am the king?s attendant Olive!? The black knight said removing his helmet revealing that he was Olive.
?Why did you have us come here if you already knew where it was?? Mushroom asked. ?That fool pineapple would never tell me what I wanted to know, he always went on about how he couldn?t trust people like me. I enjoyed killing him.? Olive said holding up his sword as it dripped a drop of pineapple juice. ?So it was Pineapple?s voice I heard.? Mushroom said with an angry look on his face. ?And now you will share his fate!? Olive said pointing the blade at mushroom. ?Bring it on; I didn?t like you from the moment I set eyes on you.? Mushroom responded as he took his sword out of sack and threw the rest of his stuff to sausage to look after.
Mushroom rushed olive taking the initiative to strike and took a stab at olive. Olive knocked mushroom?s sword away with his own and while mushroom was trying to regain his balance kneed him in the gut. ?You can?t win sir mushroom I am too skilled for you.? Olive gloated. ?Fuck you, I can still beat you.? Mushroom snapped back getting back on his feet. ?I doubt it, it would take a miracle for you to beat me.? Olive said before laughing. Just then the ground started to shake and the holy plate started to move. ?What is going on!?? Olive said in disbelief. The holy plate started to hover above the warriors before crashing down on Olive and crushing him.
?SIR MUSHROOM, I THE HOLY PLATE HAVE CHOSEN YOU TO BE TAKEN UP TO THE HEAVENS! IF YOU SO ACCEPT BOARD THE HOLY PLATE AND IT WILL TAKE YOU UP TO THE HEAVENS!? A thunderous voice from the sky said. Mushroom was taken aback by what happened and looked over to sausage as if to confirm if he had heard it too. ?Holy plate I have one question, what happened to the soldiers that came here a few weeks ago?? Mushroom asked. ?THOSE MORTALS WERE NOT WORTHY OF MY POWERS AND WERE DESTROYED. YOU ON THE OTHER HAND ARE WORTHY OF MY POWERS AND I OFFER YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO GO TO THE HEAVENS.? The voice responded.
?What should I do sausage, I don?t want to disobey the king but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.? Mushroom asked not sure of what to do. ?You should go with the plate sir; I will tell the king what happened. It?s not like he could stop you once you get there.? Sausage responded. ?Thank you Sausage, You will make a great knight one day.? Mushroom said. ?Holy Plate! I will take you up on your offer.? Mushroom said. ?EXCELLENT, BOARD THE PLATE AND I WILL TAKE YOU UP TO THE HEAVENS!? The voice responded.
Sir mushroom walked towards the holy plate and stairs appeared that allowed him to make it up to the plate?s surface. Sir Mushroom looked back one last time to get a look at the world he was leaving behind. ?SIR MUSHROOM! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME OVER THE YEARS, I WILL BECOME A MIGHTY KNIGHT IN YOUR HONOR!? Sausage shouted saying his last good byes to Sir Mushroom. Sir Mushroom could not say anything back as tears started to run down his face. The holy plate started to ascend into the sky as Sir Mushroom prepared for whatever it was at the other end of the sky.
The rest of the trip was a quiet one until the two made it to the castle. The castle was a large stone castle that showed its rich history in every stone, it was also very strong just like its rulers. ?HALT! Who goes there?? one of the guards of the large door questioned. ?Sir Mushroom, The king summoned me.? Sir Mushroom answered a little nervous from the large spears the guards were holding. ?Sir Mushroom?? The guard said questioningly looking over to the other guard. The other guard nodded his head in response. ?You may pass Sir Mushroom.? The other guard said allowing the two to pass.
The two walked into the castle and were amazed by the room they walked into. The two were looking around in awe when a green olive walked up to them. ?You must be Sir Mushroom. I am one of the king?s attendants but you can just call me olive.? The olive said greeting the two and extending his hand to Sir Mushroom. Sir Mushroom did not like Olives because they tended to be two faced and quick to backstab you but he could not let his personal feelings get in the way. ?Yes I am, It?s nice to meet you.? Sir Mushroom said shaking Olive?s hand. ?The king is waiting for you and we should not keep him waiting. If you would follow me I will bring you to the king.? Olive said leading the two to the throne room.
Sir Mushroom was impressed with the layout of the castle and all the decorations gave it a fancy feeling. The group then came to a door and olive suddenly stopped and turned around to the two with a serious look on his face. ?This is the throne room; when you meet the king make sure you are on your best behavior. If you disrespect the king I will make sure you never live to see the light of day again.? Olive said in complete seriousness. Mushroom and Sausage both nodded their heads and olive opened the door to the throne room allowing the two to enter. The first thing they noticed about the room is that there were a lot of stairs to the throne and the king was sitting on his throne looking down at the three that just entered.
?King Bacon I bring you Sir Mushroom and his companion.? Olive announced kneeling to the king. The king looked down at the two new faces; he looked them over before speaking. ?Sir Mushroom before I tell you anything, who is your companion.? King Bacon asked in a thunderous voice staring directly at Squire Sausage. ?This is my squire, his name is sausage and he has been my companion for the past few years your lordship.? Sir Mushroom responded in a calm tone. ?Well if you trust him then he can stay.? King Bacon responded in a softer tone. ?Now onto business. Sir mushroom do you know why I summoned you here?? King Bacon asked. ?No I do not but I thought that it must be important if you were to summon me here to meet face to face.? Sir Mushroom answered. ?You are right, have you ever heard the story of the Holy Plate?? King Bacon asked in a serious tone. ?You mean the fairy tale of the magical plate that takes you to heaven?? Sir Mushroom asked not knowing where the king was going.
?Yes and it seems that it is more than just a simple fairy tale. A few days ago I received a letter from one of our outposts that they found the Holy Plate but we have not heard of them since. We do not know if this is a false report or not but we would like you to investigate this.? King Bacon explained. ?As you wish your lordship, we will head out immediately.? Sir Mushroom said kneeling to the king. ?Excellent, Olive will tell you where to go and who to talk to. If you succeed in this mission there could be big things for you.? King Bacon said before the three left the throne room.
?The message came from an outpost to the south, when you get there speak with Commander Pineapple he will tell you where to search. If you take the path to the south you should get there in a day or so. Any questions?? Olive said right after they left the throne room and were walking towards the door they came in. ?None, we will find out what happened to the soldiers who disappeared and discover if the holy plate is real.? Sir Mushroom responded. ?Very good.? Olive said while they walked out of the castle towards a stable. ?Your best bet would be to go down this road, it will take you more than a day to get there so make sure you make up a camp before it gets too dark.? Olive explained pointing the two to the correct road to take. ?Thank you Olive, we will head out now. Thanks for your help.? Sir mushroom said before the two took off on their adventure. Olive couldn?t of been happier as he watched the two walk down the road, A sinister smile broke on his face before heading back into the castle.
Sir Mushroom and Squire Sausage had a boring walk towards the outpost and before they knew it it was starting to get dark so they decided to make a camp for the night. ?Sausage, you?ve been checking for people following us right?? Mushroom asked as he was trying to start a fire in a clearing they found. ?Yes sir, I did not see anyone following us. Do you feel like someone would be following us?? Sausage asked. ?I think olive might try to wait until we find the holy plate and then take it for himself.? Mushroom answered. ?Why would you think that? Olive didn?t seem like the type of person who would do such a thing.? Sausage said in a concerned tone. ?Well all the olive?s I know are two faced and I won?t take the risk with him being different.? Mushroom answered honestly. ?Sir Mushroom that is very racist of you. You shouldn?t judge someone on race just because of a few bad ones.? Sausage said a little shocked at the reasoning sir mushroom gave to him. ?It?s better to be safe than sorry. If nothing happens than I was wrong and nothing will happen but if I?m right and we don?t take caution then he could kill us while we least expect it.? Mushroom explained. ?Well that is true, but that doesn?t mean I have to approve of this!? sausage said lashing out a little. ?I don?t care if you approve or not I just care that we are safe.? Mushroom said. The rest of the night was spent in silence as the two could not start up a conversation like they normally do.
The next day the two continued on their quest and after a few hours they made it to the outpost without an incident which bothered Sir Mushroom. The two walked up to the wooden gate and no one seemed to have seen them and the two looked at each other wondering what they should do. ?What should we do sir mushroom? No one seems to be here.? Sausage asked a little concerned. ?I don?t know maybe I can try shouting and see if that gets their attention.? Mushroom responded. ?HELLO!? THIS IS SIR MUSHROOM IS ANYONE THERE!?? Mushroom shouted at the top of his voice trying to get a response.
?OI! THIS IS COMMANDER PINEAPPLE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!?? A voice from inside the outpost shouted back. ?WE WERE SENT BY THE KING TO GET INFO ON THE HOLY PLATE!? Mushroom answered. ?HOLY PLATE!? WHY DIDN?T YOU SAY SO EARLIER? HOLD ON I?LL LET YOU IN.? The voice shouted back before the gate started to open. The two walked in and they saw this very large pineapple, besides the giant pineapple they noticed that the outpost seemed to be devoid of life. ?Well hello there my name is commander pineapple. I?m sorry about not opening the gate for you when you got here as you can probably tell I?m the only one here.? The pineapple stated in a cheerful tone. ?I wondered why there was no one else here but I was told that you would have information about the holy plate for us.? Mushroom said looking around the outpost.
?Oh that, I do have some information about the holy plate for you. It all happened about two weeks ago when we saw this large object come falling out of the sky. I sent a few soldiers to go check it out but only one came back. He told me that the group found a large plate like object and when the group went to check it out the rest of the group was taken by the plate into the sky. Poor boy was the only one left and he rushed back to tell me what happened. I sent the rest of my soldiers to go check it out but they haven?t returned either so I assumed that the holy plate took them into the sky as well.? Pineapple explained. ?What happened to the soldier that survived?? Mushroom asked. ?Poor broccoli, the kid went crazy and I found his dead body a few days after he returned. He tried to deep fry himself and his body couldn?t take the abuse and he died.? Pineapple answered in a sad tone.
?I?m sorry that you had to lose a soldier like that.? Mushroom said trying to make pineapple feel better. ?BAH, I don?t need cheering up I hated that guy anyway he was a little too squirrely for my liking.? Pineapple said in a fiery tone. ?Well you sounded like you were mourning him.? Mushroom said a little taken aback. ?ME MOURINING BROCCOLI!? Don?t make me laugh I was happy the bastard is dead, he just didn?t have to ruin my deep fryer in the process!? Pineapple shouted. ?Well can you just tell us where the holy plate was so we can go check it out?? Mushroom asked wanting to get away from pineapple. ?It was in a field to the east, just follow the tracks that my other soldiers left they should lead you there.? Pineapple responded pointing to the east. ?Thank you for your help.? Mushroom said before the two of them left.
?Nosey little bastard.? Pineapple said to himself after he was sure that they were gone. ?Thank you for the information Commander Pineapple.? A voice said. ?What who are... The black knight!?? Pineapple said in disbelief as he saw the figure in black armor before him. ?Yes I am the black knight and you have given me all the information I wanted and now you?re useless.? The black knight said. ?Wait a second can?t you just let me live I won?t tell anyone about you.? Pineapple said in a panic. ?I?m sorry I can?t let you live, I can?t take the risk that you would keep your word. Besides I love pineapple juice.? The black knight said in a sadistic voice.
Sir Mushroom and Squire Sausage were a good distance away when sir mushroom suddenly stopped. ?What is it mushroom?? Sausage asked a little confused as to why mushroom stopped. ?I thought I just heard pineapple scream, it must have been nothing. Let?s continue towards the holy plate.? Mushroom responded after stopping for a second and looking back at the direction of the outpost. ?Are you sure sir I didn?t hear anything. But if you say not to worry about it I won?t.? Sausage said a little skeptical of what mushroom said. A ways behind the two the black knight was following with a sword that still had the pineapple juice on it from the black knight?s last kill.
After an hour of walking the two came on a large clearing in the field and they saw what they had been searching for. ?The holy plate it is real.? Mushroom said in disbelief. The two were looking upon a giant white plate just sitting in the field and they could just tell it was the holy plate. ?Sir Mushroom we shouldn?t get too close to it or we might be taken away as well.? Sausage said quickly to make sure that mushroom didn?t get too close to the holy plate. The two then heard laughing from behind them and when they looked back they saw the black knight.
?The holy plate, I?ve been searching for this my entire life and now it?s within my grasp.? The black knight said walking towards the two. ?The black knight! I won?t let you have the holy plate it belongs to the King!? Mushroom said placing himself between the black knight and sausage. ?Oh and you?re going to stop me? I?d hate to tell you but it was you that led me the entire way here.? The black knight stated. ?What!? There is no way that I led you here! I had my squire checking for people following us!? Mushroom snapped back. ?I never followed you, I was the one that pointed you to Commander Pineapple.? The black knight said. ?That means that you must be the king?s attendant the green olive.? Mushroom said sure that it was him. ?HEHEHE you are right I am the king?s attendant Olive!? The black knight said removing his helmet revealing that he was Olive.
?Why did you have us come here if you already knew where it was?? Mushroom asked. ?That fool pineapple would never tell me what I wanted to know, he always went on about how he couldn?t trust people like me. I enjoyed killing him.? Olive said holding up his sword as it dripped a drop of pineapple juice. ?So it was Pineapple?s voice I heard.? Mushroom said with an angry look on his face. ?And now you will share his fate!? Olive said pointing the blade at mushroom. ?Bring it on; I didn?t like you from the moment I set eyes on you.? Mushroom responded as he took his sword out of sack and threw the rest of his stuff to sausage to look after.
Mushroom rushed olive taking the initiative to strike and took a stab at olive. Olive knocked mushroom?s sword away with his own and while mushroom was trying to regain his balance kneed him in the gut. ?You can?t win sir mushroom I am too skilled for you.? Olive gloated. ?Fuck you, I can still beat you.? Mushroom snapped back getting back on his feet. ?I doubt it, it would take a miracle for you to beat me.? Olive said before laughing. Just then the ground started to shake and the holy plate started to move. ?What is going on!?? Olive said in disbelief. The holy plate started to hover above the warriors before crashing down on Olive and crushing him.
?SIR MUSHROOM, I THE HOLY PLATE HAVE CHOSEN YOU TO BE TAKEN UP TO THE HEAVENS! IF YOU SO ACCEPT BOARD THE HOLY PLATE AND IT WILL TAKE YOU UP TO THE HEAVENS!? A thunderous voice from the sky said. Mushroom was taken aback by what happened and looked over to sausage as if to confirm if he had heard it too. ?Holy plate I have one question, what happened to the soldiers that came here a few weeks ago?? Mushroom asked. ?THOSE MORTALS WERE NOT WORTHY OF MY POWERS AND WERE DESTROYED. YOU ON THE OTHER HAND ARE WORTHY OF MY POWERS AND I OFFER YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO GO TO THE HEAVENS.? The voice responded.
?What should I do sausage, I don?t want to disobey the king but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.? Mushroom asked not sure of what to do. ?You should go with the plate sir; I will tell the king what happened. It?s not like he could stop you once you get there.? Sausage responded. ?Thank you Sausage, You will make a great knight one day.? Mushroom said. ?Holy Plate! I will take you up on your offer.? Mushroom said. ?EXCELLENT, BOARD THE PLATE AND I WILL TAKE YOU UP TO THE HEAVENS!? The voice responded.
Sir mushroom walked towards the holy plate and stairs appeared that allowed him to make it up to the plate?s surface. Sir Mushroom looked back one last time to get a look at the world he was leaving behind. ?SIR MUSHROOM! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME OVER THE YEARS, I WILL BECOME A MIGHTY KNIGHT IN YOUR HONOR!? Sausage shouted saying his last good byes to Sir Mushroom. Sir Mushroom could not say anything back as tears started to run down his face. The holy plate started to ascend into the sky as Sir Mushroom prepared for whatever it was at the other end of the sky.
i won this already. mine involved charlie sheen, tourettes syndrome, a redneck sausage, and cocaine, and shia LaBeef.
SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
Well, lets just say a will read short ones a lot more thoroughly, but I will appreciate long ones a lot more...demolisher360 said:
OH GOD THE EUPHEMISMS FOR WHAT I JUST SAID.
But anyway, quality over quantity any day, and after an hour or so of reading these, the short ones may hold a certain charm ;P
But I will try to be fair as possible.
demolisher360 said:
Aheheheheheheheheh.Eddie the head said:
It was like finding some ancient rare treasure in the depths of the internet...
I just inserted the epic face.
I am donating a Steam key for Grotesque Tactics to the contest. With the added stipulation that the people who are going for that key somehow have to shoehorn a gorilla suit into their story.
Also, my story: The Adventures Of Mr. Sausage and Senior Mushroom
One day, Mr. Sausage and Senior Mushroom were poncing about when they came to a marina. "I know", stated Sausage,"Let's go on a bit of a trip!" So they packed it up and headed out for an adventure on the open seas, going past sea monsters and braving wild storms until they finally found themselves on a deserted island. By this point, Mushroom had grown into the damp boards of the boat and Sausage had mostly rotted. As they came to, they saw a Pineapple sitting on the beach. "Come over here", said Pineapple. So Mushroom cut himself loose from the boat, and picking up the very rotten Sausage, headed over to Pineapple. However, it turned out that Pineapple didn't have their best interests at heart, as as soon as they got over there, they realized that Pineapple was in league with the seagulls and got eaten. Thankfully this story has a happy ending. Because they ate rotten sausage, the seagulls got Salmonella and shit themselves to death
THE END
Also, my story: The Adventures Of Mr. Sausage and Senior Mushroom
One day, Mr. Sausage and Senior Mushroom were poncing about when they came to a marina. "I know", stated Sausage,"Let's go on a bit of a trip!" So they packed it up and headed out for an adventure on the open seas, going past sea monsters and braving wild storms until they finally found themselves on a deserted island. By this point, Mushroom had grown into the damp boards of the boat and Sausage had mostly rotted. As they came to, they saw a Pineapple sitting on the beach. "Come over here", said Pineapple. So Mushroom cut himself loose from the boat, and picking up the very rotten Sausage, headed over to Pineapple. However, it turned out that Pineapple didn't have their best interests at heart, as as soon as they got over there, they realized that Pineapple was in league with the seagulls and got eaten. Thankfully this story has a happy ending. Because they ate rotten sausage, the seagulls got Salmonella and shit themselves to death
THE END
Just sent my PM with my little tale.
PROLOGUE:
Once upon a time, there was a sausage. He began life in the cold womb of the meat grinder, and was promptly contained in a strange form of cryostasis. Around the same time, there was a mushroom, who grew up in the lush forests of HODOR, until one day, he was mysteriously abducted. Though these characters do not realize it yet, they are interconnected in ways that neither of them could have foreseen.
CHAPTER 1:
Sausage woke up, with no idea where he was or how long it had been. The last he remembered was that he had been encased in some strange form of wrapping, and then frozen. He looked to his left, and saw a dozen innocent mushrooms a short distance away. They seemed to have suffered the same fate, as they were covered in the same strange container that he, as well, had formerly inhabited. Suddenly, he was picked up by a giant! He had neither seen nor heard of such frightening beings, but the mere sight of it was sure to haunt his nightmares for years to come. Trapped within the mighty grasp of the gargantuan being, he could only watch in horror as the giant released the mushrooms from their frozen torment. Sausage was hoping for the best; maybe the giant was going to free them, or return them home! All he wanted to do was return to his life in the meat grinder. But then, the giant picked up the mushrooms and cast them into a black, iron pit filled to the brim with boiling liquid! Sausage was terrified that this fate would surely await him as well. Just then, the sausage was set down upon a quite large white table of some sort. He wanted to escape, but he could not as he was a sausage and incapable of movement. He saw the giant in all of its horrifying splendour, clutching a knife, holding it over his head (or was it his leg?), and then bringing it down upon him, bringing with it untold agony. The being did this seven times, until Sausage was bisected into eight different parts. Fully conscious of the torture that was being inflicted upon him, Sausage could do nothing as his segments were picked up by the giant, and cast into the same black, hellish boiling liquid as the mushrooms he had seen earlier. As he burned, his last visions were of the innocent mushrooms being burned alive. He pondered the sheer perversity of such a being that tortured dozens, maybe hundreds of innocent beings for the sake of his own enjoyment, and then... silence.
EPILOGUE:
The giant opened the pot that he had cast the sausage and mushrooms into, pouring the contents into a strainer. The scalding liquid poured out through the bottom, revealing the charred carcasses of the sausage and the mushrooms. The corpses were dumped onto a platter, to be garnished with shreds of pineapple and served to his clan of four more giants, of varying sizes and ages.
FIN
Once upon a time, there was a sausage. He began life in the cold womb of the meat grinder, and was promptly contained in a strange form of cryostasis. Around the same time, there was a mushroom, who grew up in the lush forests of HODOR, until one day, he was mysteriously abducted. Though these characters do not realize it yet, they are interconnected in ways that neither of them could have foreseen.
CHAPTER 1:
Sausage woke up, with no idea where he was or how long it had been. The last he remembered was that he had been encased in some strange form of wrapping, and then frozen. He looked to his left, and saw a dozen innocent mushrooms a short distance away. They seemed to have suffered the same fate, as they were covered in the same strange container that he, as well, had formerly inhabited. Suddenly, he was picked up by a giant! He had neither seen nor heard of such frightening beings, but the mere sight of it was sure to haunt his nightmares for years to come. Trapped within the mighty grasp of the gargantuan being, he could only watch in horror as the giant released the mushrooms from their frozen torment. Sausage was hoping for the best; maybe the giant was going to free them, or return them home! All he wanted to do was return to his life in the meat grinder. But then, the giant picked up the mushrooms and cast them into a black, iron pit filled to the brim with boiling liquid! Sausage was terrified that this fate would surely await him as well. Just then, the sausage was set down upon a quite large white table of some sort. He wanted to escape, but he could not as he was a sausage and incapable of movement. He saw the giant in all of its horrifying splendour, clutching a knife, holding it over his head (or was it his leg?), and then bringing it down upon him, bringing with it untold agony. The being did this seven times, until Sausage was bisected into eight different parts. Fully conscious of the torture that was being inflicted upon him, Sausage could do nothing as his segments were picked up by the giant, and cast into the same black, hellish boiling liquid as the mushrooms he had seen earlier. As he burned, his last visions were of the innocent mushrooms being burned alive. He pondered the sheer perversity of such a being that tortured dozens, maybe hundreds of innocent beings for the sake of his own enjoyment, and then... silence.
EPILOGUE:
The giant opened the pot that he had cast the sausage and mushrooms into, pouring the contents into a strainer. The scalding liquid poured out through the bottom, revealing the charred carcasses of the sausage and the mushrooms. The corpses were dumped onto a platter, to be garnished with shreds of pineapple and served to his clan of four more giants, of varying sizes and ages.
FIN
