Friends With Benefits

[Danny Ocean]

in my opinion, should be a symbol of two people's love for one another.

Me too, but I still don't see any issue with friendship with benefits. I tend to get very close to a few people, and see intimacy as a legitimate way of expressing affection. It sounds weird to a lot of people, but it seems natural to me.

 

[_Cake_]

I think that just shows that all women are different.

Personally I only did that when I was really messed up and couldn't deal with just normal dating, so be warned.

 

[daavisb]

I think its a bad idea. the concept itself cant last long, and the "benefit" isnt worth it.
rather find yourself a real women, than fck up the friendship you have.

 

[Kortney]

It wouldn't work in most cases. Someone would end up developing feelings.

 

[ZephrC]

Can it work? Yes, absolutely.

Is it very likely to work for any substantial amount of time? Not so much.

 

[LostProxy]

I've had a friend with benefits for the past year or so. We are incredibly comfortable with each other and other people only become an issue for a little while, until the other one gets used to the lost resource I suppose you can say, and then we're just friends again. I think the main problem is people get to possessive and that won't work in such a relationship. I guess I just know when to back off and when to become invested in something.

 

[dtfyvugbhjnk]

So my question to you is, do you think the whole friends with benefits thing can work, if both parties agree on the topic?

This has nothing to do with "normal" relationships. Those are about emotions... and "love" a.k.a obsessing over another human being. For us without emotions your idea is "normal" but not as easy to understand by the "normal" a.k.a majority of people and it is really hard to tell who´s who. I'm a pretty "normal" guy for most people around me until they expect some kinda emotional reaction from me and don´t get it.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is this. If you get intimate with a "normal" person you are most likely going to trigger some emotions and when these are not answered the relationship brakes.

Girl 1 seems like a "normal" person. Girl 2, if she has any experience is most likely not.
Both of these seem pretty broken and fucked up but hey whatever feels good.

Also... "normal"

 

[Daveman]

Well I know two of my mates claim to have had such a relationship with a girl. So I'd say yes. I'd also say to your friend "M" that having sex with someone outside a relationship doesn't make you a slut. I know she didn't say that but I could tell she was thinking it.

 

[El Poncho]

I wouldn't mind it happening to me but overtime I would probably start getting feelings for the person.

 

[Julianking93]

Well, first off, your friend "M" is wrong.

I know more women who are into the "friends with benefits" thing than men.

More ontopic, I... don't know. I can't see how that would work without other emotions popping up later on down the line. No matter how much one may think it is completely platonic or that they have no real feelings for the other in a romantic sense, it seems to be a primary issue between those who practice it. So, in that sense, no, I don't think it would work. I've never once seen anyone who's in that sort of situation have it work out for them the way they want it to. One person always will get too emotional or they both end up falling for each other.

As for me personally though, I would never do that. I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone because of it or that it's beneath me, but rather because I'm such an emotional person that I couldn't have sexual relations with anyone without getting romantically attached.

 

[EvilMaggot]

well i got a friend (female) that has friends with benefits with around 3 guys, imo a slut but friends with benefits can work

 

[Mr S]

I've never had THESE kind of female friends, but I wouldn;t mind at all.

 

[Syrus Vikeruce]

More or less one of you will get inevitable attached to the other but...

I guess there's a chance of succeeding if you're both angry misanthropists just looking for great sex. *Scratch, scratch*

 

[Faladorian]

at my age, it's almost impossible to find a girl that is willing to have sex even when ina relationship, so absolutely not. Maybe when I'm older, I don't know. Maybe it could work in theory, but I don't see it ever happening to me. [sub]/self-deprecation[/sub]

 

[TyphoidMary]

Friends with benefits can absolutely work, for a time. As long as both parties go in with the understand that nothing will come of it but a meaningless physical relationship. Don't confuse things, try not to make the person your confidante or anything like that, feelings develop more from that than fucking around. If feelings rear their unwelcome heads, discuss it calmly, no big sweeping confessions.

And remember, set the rules in place before you start fucking. If you want to be exclusive fuck buddies, make sure that is well established beforehand.

 

[captaincabbage]

I don't think it can work often, just because you'll eventually get a bit emotionally attached unless you keep yourselves distanced, like what happened with my best friend (call her J).

J and I were pretty much best friends for a long time and we did pretty much everything together. Played games together, went to school together, slept in the same bed.
We eventually (when a little drunk) decided if we thought the 'friends with benefits' thing could work, so we tried it that night.
It worked for a few months, with the both of us working things out. One thing to note, you're each in it for yourselves, but a guy has got to do a fair amount of work for both of you, so you've gotta either be a total sex-machine, or really open to criticism, which I think if fine, because it'll make both of you better lovers. ;P
Eventually we got too close and started dating, and now we've been together happily for two years. I always loved her, but now I'm in love with her and I couldn' be happier.

So pretty much, there's three ways it can go; You could start feeling a bit uncomfortable with each-other and start seeing eachother less and less, you could get yourself into a relationship and completely ruin your friendship, or you could get into a relationship and have a fantastic relationship with them.
I have the latter of the three, since J is almost a mirror image of me. We love the same food, we like the same jokes, same games, talk the same, it's really quite good.

 

[Smooth Operator]

It works for a time, but you should always bail out before shit gets weird.