Frustrated and I do not know what to do.
- Thread starter GameNeo
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I would hardly consider myself clingy but you may be right.TriggerOnly said:
1: Trust me, I normally do not ask these kinds of questions online but the escapists community seems like the best and most mature community I have ever seen in an online forum so I made an exception to the rule.Spherex said:
2: Unfortunately, I would but I can not afford a therapist at the moment and will probably not any time soon in the near future.
good, keep doing your stuff, do your routines, enjoy your life.
and the 'with or without friend' part, dude, you maybe already have one in one of those routines, maybe you just didnt realize it out of excitement or the insecurity or some chick with huge boobs passed by.
but if you're still with the 'i can never have friends eva' at the end of the day, seek professional help, i read that you couldnt afford one atm, maybe you can borrow some from your mom or a relative.
PS: you said in the first post that you can be a social person, but having issues on making friends. this is kind of a smartass advice, but when u get a new acquaintance, dont jump the gun, keep it cool, dont spam em with texts and all, just be cool.
EDIT : like TriggerOnly said up there..
and the 'with or without friend' part, dude, you maybe already have one in one of those routines, maybe you just didnt realize it out of excitement or the insecurity or some chick with huge boobs passed by.
but if you're still with the 'i can never have friends eva' at the end of the day, seek professional help, i read that you couldnt afford one atm, maybe you can borrow some from your mom or a relative.
PS: you said in the first post that you can be a social person, but having issues on making friends. this is kind of a smartass advice, but when u get a new acquaintance, dont jump the gun, keep it cool, dont spam em with texts and all, just be cool.
EDIT : like TriggerOnly said up there..
I try not to jump the gun but I just don't know when is the proper time to ask a person to hang out anymore. Do I wait 2-3 days? 2-3 weeks? shit I don't have very many days when I am off, let alone can hang out with people, so how the hell am I supposed to know when I jump the gun? God this is starting to seem like a dating problem more than a friendship problem what with all the "unspoken rules".figday said:
In my opinion, this subtle shit is just mad frustrating. Is it so wrong when I get someone's number then two or 3 days later ask if they just want to hang out or do some regular shit? I mean I am not asking for a kidney here but jebus...I would just like some to say exactly what they feel like saying like "no sorry man, I don't like hanging out with you" or "na sorry but I can't but maybe later aight?"
See, my entire family, (outside my awesome bro and sis and ma) is complete and utter shitholes to each other and I would rather starve or be depressed than ever, EVER ask for anything in my life from those terrible, shitbags of human beings. Also, I am not embarrassed about asking about this. In fact, I have discussed it with my mother but it is very hard to discuss it with her when she is one of those types who loves me for whatever I do and feels I am the embodiment of jesus christ and what not, so you will have to bear with me considering I am alone in this problem.Spherex said:Ah, the American health system strikes again.GameNeo said:
Honestly though, if it could help you, I would ask your family for help/a loan just to get it sorted out as fast as possible. It will get even more expensive if you wait until it has evolved into a full blown depression, trust me.
Regardless of how embarrassing and disappointed you'll feel for asking for help, it will be close to impossible to solve it on your own, and the downwards spiral is a damned fast ride if you let it be.
As mentioned above though, it can't hurt to just slow your active search down a bit and let things progress naturally. Just don't let yourself go alone for too long. Been there, done that.
if its a dating issue, then yes there will always be the 'proper time' factor'.GameNeo said:
but this is not, so that factor doesnt really count as important.
whats important is for what purpose do you contact them for?
try something easy for starters, i.e : try asking mini advices from their line of work, you know, stuff like 'hey man, sorry to bother you, but i kinda need a small advice/input about ____, i remember you're in that line of work so i thought why not ask. anyways thx in advance'
stuff like that.
Well it depends on the person and situation I met them in. For 2 examples:figday said:
1: I recently co-organized a MVC3 tournament with the people at my local gamestop. The turn-out was 12 people (which was 3x more than we expected). I ended up winning but I had a guy I met there excited about the tournament scene and getting farther in his skill than just a "casual". So I said I would be happy to help you learn more about this game and tournaments in general. Good start right? Even got his number and hung out at his place about a day later. Well school shit and work pops up and about 4 days later I call him and say , hey want to hang out or play some mvc3? He says he can't but he would call me later. Well this sounds familiar so I wait bout 3 days and text him saying if he would like to hang out or do some shit whenever. Have not heard from him since.
2: I recently got into Theatre so in my class we have to do what they call "practicum hours" which means you have to work behind the scenes on an up coming play. So after I get all my hours I still enjoyed doing it so I go back and the class got moved to a different section time frame, which unfortunately, clashes with my next two classes. So I tried to get some numbers, and got some, but shit just does not work out with our schedules.
oh man, this is kinda 'the world is against you' thing. maybe youre spreading a negativity vibe thats (probably) caused by your mindset, or maybe its something else entirely. anyways, if i can meet you , i can totally try helping you out, alas, this is the net, and i think this is as far as i can go. sorry man. keep a positive mind and good luck!GameNeo said:
Fucking listen to others. Biggest thing I changed about myself, and it worked.
I was in nearly the same boat as you, OP, but one day I went to school and made a conscious effort to care about what others told me, and to devote energy to listening to what others have to say.
I grew a close circle of friends I'm pretty happy with, with whom I can talk to whenever I want. A few have confided in ridiculously intimate stuff with me after weeks of growing a relationship, because I make it a point to be easy to talk to me, and because people notice when you care- or don't.
If someone tells you a story or bit about themselves, try asking them more about it, or asking them to develop further; avoid returning with your own selfish point, unless it's directly relevant to their topic. This is of course at the start of a relationship, and once the person has seen he has someone to talk to, in my experience, he will reciprocate and listen as well.
It's a good way to weed out jerks too, because when after listening attentively to someone and caring and he won't do the same for you, you know you've found a jerk.
Yes, this is based on the premise that everyone loves talking about themselves and their issues. I've never found an exception. Everyone has something to gripe (*****) about, exalt about, or discuss seriously.
I was in nearly the same boat as you, OP, but one day I went to school and made a conscious effort to care about what others told me, and to devote energy to listening to what others have to say.
I grew a close circle of friends I'm pretty happy with, with whom I can talk to whenever I want. A few have confided in ridiculously intimate stuff with me after weeks of growing a relationship, because I make it a point to be easy to talk to me, and because people notice when you care- or don't.
If someone tells you a story or bit about themselves, try asking them more about it, or asking them to develop further; avoid returning with your own selfish point, unless it's directly relevant to their topic. This is of course at the start of a relationship, and once the person has seen he has someone to talk to, in my experience, he will reciprocate and listen as well.
It's a good way to weed out jerks too, because when after listening attentively to someone and caring and he won't do the same for you, you know you've found a jerk.
Yes, this is based on the premise that everyone loves talking about themselves and their issues. I've never found an exception. Everyone has something to gripe (*****) about, exalt about, or discuss seriously.
No please, elaborate.Berethond said:
Well, I do like listing to others and I general enjoy the presence of another. Considering each day is different for each person, I could have a total shitty day but the other person could of had a wonder day. I kinda like to know how people's day went considering there will never be two of the same story nor the same experiences.Monkestful said:
Heh, too true xDfigday said:no problem dude, anytime. as for the captcha. i dont know. just seeing them once is more than enough for meGameNeo said:
Well, there are lots of reasons.GameNeo said:
I find your voice grating.
I think your neckbeard looks hella stupid.
You're interested in theater and as far as I'm concerned that makes you a loser until proven otherwise.
You obviously take video game tournaments very seriously. And they're not only very small tournaments, they're also tournaments for games which I don't like.
The last reason is the most important. To me, it sends a message that you may or may not have your priorities a little messed up. Not to mention its just weird.
Of course, that's all just my highly biased opinion.
1: okBerethond said:
2: ok
3: So having an interest in a modern Theatre makes anyone a loser by your standards? That leaves an impression that you are a uncultured, ignorant man. Also, define "loser" by your standards.
4: Considering fighting games are the only good source of tournament value and given the community is huge, then yes they will be big. As for your preference? To each his own but when is the last time you ever heard of a major FPS, RTS, or puzzle game tournament?
5: And what sort of priorities should I have? Considering I go to college, have a job, and do community work, I don't understand your reasoning. Also, define "weird".