Yay a venting thread, how useful at this moment.
I'm tired with the lack of progress in my life. Virtually everything is exactly the same as it was 5 years ago to the point that it's going stagnant. I feel I have outgrown the few friends I have but can't bring myself to pull away from them because then I will have no one. We all became friends a good few years ago now when we were all drop out teens without direction or care. We spent our time skipping college/6th form, drinking heavily and we'd resigned ourselves to the fact we were some of lifes rejects. We dressed in a manner that expressed this, torn shirts and jeans, unkempt hair, scruffy as hell, so only the diviest of dive bars would let us in.
At the time, I loved it because it suited where I was mentally, I was a mess who believed he would be better off dead. Now as time goes on I find myself longing for more, a better job, a better standard of living, a nice girl who I could one day think of settling down with. I know what job I want, it's not glamourous but it's a lifestyle I think I would be happy with. I'm currently working on that, so that should be in place shortly.
My main problem I guess is lonliness. During the week I have no one to speak to except my family and the people I work with. At weekends either I have to go out and spend a shitload of money drinking with my current "friends" or sit at home alone with no one to talk to. I used to get around this by using the internet. Chatrooms, forums whatever, it was easy to make friends back then. Now I can't even aptly communicate with people over the bloody internet.
I feel everyone and everything is too good for me, I don't talk to people because I assume they will dislike me, even on here. Women, pft that's even worse, why would a woman want to get to know the shrek look alike dreg of society that I am? The only people I have then are my friends, who are quite happy staying dregs, they love it. All life is to them is one big piss up.
I almost managed it once, got to know a girl who was normal, we got on well for a while, but my negativity even soured that in the end. Maybe that's my problem, I see the world with shit tinted glasses and I can't bring myself to be happy.
Fuck sake...yeah, rant over. So much more I could go on about but then I'll just end up angry lol.