"Fuck this" moments
- Thread starter LaughingAtlas
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yeah i got one. The Iron Man game is a piece of shit game but i sat through it any way cause i spent the $10 to rent the fucker.
I even tried to go for the achievment where you have to complete all the secondary objectives. I managed most of them but theres this one level where aparently the bad guys have kiddnaped pepper and stuck her in some kind of reactor building...thing! The idea was they'd send waves of baddies and fire missles at the outter towers of the facility and if all of them are destroyed you loose the mission. the bonus objective was beating the level without loosing any of the towers...this is impossible. besides the fact that the game handles like butt and your weapons all have the destructive power of a pea shooter, the fucking towers lose health really fast if your not in front of that specific tower blasting the baddies.
All of this could be do-able except that the final wave of baddies instantly surround all towers and the game launches a wave of missles at the facility in all directions. You can't stop all the missles and even if you've managed to prevent the towers from being damaged up to this point (which means you've hacked the game or somthing) then your still going to lose at least one tower between the baddies and the missles.
i tried doing this a few times and finally said fuck this shit i'm done. This is one of those games where if i ever met the guy in charge of designing the missions, i'd proabley try to poison him...not kill him just make him puke and shit him self for a couple of days so he'd know what it was like for anyone who played his game.
I even tried to go for the achievment where you have to complete all the secondary objectives. I managed most of them but theres this one level where aparently the bad guys have kiddnaped pepper and stuck her in some kind of reactor building...thing! The idea was they'd send waves of baddies and fire missles at the outter towers of the facility and if all of them are destroyed you loose the mission. the bonus objective was beating the level without loosing any of the towers...this is impossible. besides the fact that the game handles like butt and your weapons all have the destructive power of a pea shooter, the fucking towers lose health really fast if your not in front of that specific tower blasting the baddies.
All of this could be do-able except that the final wave of baddies instantly surround all towers and the game launches a wave of missles at the facility in all directions. You can't stop all the missles and even if you've managed to prevent the towers from being damaged up to this point (which means you've hacked the game or somthing) then your still going to lose at least one tower between the baddies and the missles.
i tried doing this a few times and finally said fuck this shit i'm done. This is one of those games where if i ever met the guy in charge of designing the missions, i'd proabley try to poison him...not kill him just make him puke and shit him self for a couple of days so he'd know what it was like for anyone who played his game.
In Golden Sun: The Lost Age.
That son of a ***** Dullahan. The ability to drain all your Djinni and leave you standing there, weaker than you were when you running around as a rosy-cheeked youngster, fighting fat little monsters in your backyard in Vale...
It took me so many tries to beat that jerk. I was in tears of frustration half the time.
That son of a ***** Dullahan. The ability to drain all your Djinni and leave you standing there, weaker than you were when you running around as a rosy-cheeked youngster, fighting fat little monsters in your backyard in Vale...
It took me so many tries to beat that jerk. I was in tears of frustration half the time.
While playing Dark Void I died again in a less-than-funny way while doing a defense mission [my least favorite type of mission] I had been playing for between 2 to 3.5 hours so I was surprised when my game loaded and the screen was black except for red targeting reticles which disappear almost as quickly as The Ark's [of the covenant I assume] health. I assume this was a one time glitch as I've played less functional games far longer but no, it happened three more times so, I turned off the game, popped it back in the box and take it back to the big box video rental unit in my neighborhood.
Mass Effect 1 and 2 on the PC are basically an erosion on your very will to live. They're terrible ports with bugs QA should have caught 2 minutes in.Darth Caelum said:
The fucking fucking fucking Star Destroyer in the Force Unleashed.
So, Star Wars Colon The Force Unleashed Semicolon Ultimate Sith Edition is now about $15 on Steam, and I advise all people to immediately rush out and don't fucking bother. It has moments of genuine coolness to it - it is really fun throwing people around with force powers - but functionally it's no different from archaic XBox title 'Psi Ops' with the important difference that Psi Ops worked much better (apart form identical aiming issues with telekinesis), had an interesting story and was a good game.
Force Unleashed is not a good game. The story is god-awful and actually does more to damage the Star Wars mythos than anything else - Force powers are so unbelievably godlike there is literally no reason to use anything else until the game forces you into a terrible lightsaber duel. Playing through it, you seriously begin to wonder why Yoda ever owned a damn lightsaber, if force powers were this strong.
Case in point and fuck this moment:
So there's this one bit towards the end, right, where you need to use your force powers to seize an Imperial Star Destroyer and drag it down to earth.
Imma repeat that: in this game, playing as a character (shoehorned awkwardly into the lore) that is ostensibly considerably weaker than Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker and Yoda, you must seize a star destroyer with your force powers and drag it down to earth.
(WHY THE FUCK DID ANYONE USE LIGHTSABERS IF THE FORCE WAS THIS STRONG)
This is, at first glimpse, a thrilling encounter. You are shooting down TIE Fighters with your Force Lightning (WHAT IS THE POINT OF A LIGHTSABER IF I CAN DESTROY SPACE SHIPS WITH MIND LIGHTNING) to clear out the sky and buy yourself some time to drag that massive spaceship down, into the range of an anti-spaceship railgun.
The problem here lies in the PC controls. You do this with WSAD and mouse, rather than the dual-analog this encounter was clearly designed for.
What this means is, what was clearly intended to be two-analogs-pulling-down instead becomes "Hold S and sweep mouse downward like a flap-handed retard."
This works fine enough for the first two or three 'phases' of the encounter, getting it closer and closer and breaking off when the TIEs close in, but the very last phase, where you only have about 15 seconds to get the ship aligned JUST RIGHT to pull it down the very last bit of the way to the guns - it just fucking seemed like it was flat-out impossible with the WSAD and mouse control scheme.
What i mean is, it just stopped giving me the PULL IT DOWN NOW command. I fiddled and fiddled with alignment but nothing worked before the next wave of TIEs came down, leading to no shit one full hour of me shooting down ships with lightning and then running over to fiddle with terrible controls and then running right back to TIEs and lightning.
An hour.
And then, just when i finally almost had it, almost done, almost fucking done with this nonsense encounter, when the aforementioned shit targetting comes up and instead of shooting lightning at the ship RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME my toon decided instead to fire it at the explosive barrel next to me.
The explosion didn't kill me. It just blasted me up onto a handrail. Where i couldn't get off. Where I couldn't reach the TIEs. Where i couldn't reach the ship.
I said okay.
Okay. This will not beat me. I will do this again and that will not happen and i will be done with this silly fucking game.
So I reloaded.
Got to the same point.
Spent another FORTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES on that ridiculous MUST BE ALIGNED JUST RIGHT OR NO CAN PULL and then
and then
my avatar decided HEY INSTEAD OF THE TIE SHOOTING AT ME THAT I AM TARGETING I THINK INSTEAD I WILL LIGHTNING THAT CUTE LIL BARREL AGAIN WHEEEEEEEE
back up on the handrail where i can't complete the encounter.
Fuck this, I said. Fuck this, fuck Lucas, fuck Star Wars and fuck the force. I deleted all local content and immediately came to write this overlong ramble of death.
Thenkew.
So, Star Wars Colon The Force Unleashed Semicolon Ultimate Sith Edition is now about $15 on Steam, and I advise all people to immediately rush out and don't fucking bother. It has moments of genuine coolness to it - it is really fun throwing people around with force powers - but functionally it's no different from archaic XBox title 'Psi Ops' with the important difference that Psi Ops worked much better (apart form identical aiming issues with telekinesis), had an interesting story and was a good game.
Force Unleashed is not a good game. The story is god-awful and actually does more to damage the Star Wars mythos than anything else - Force powers are so unbelievably godlike there is literally no reason to use anything else until the game forces you into a terrible lightsaber duel. Playing through it, you seriously begin to wonder why Yoda ever owned a damn lightsaber, if force powers were this strong.
Case in point and fuck this moment:
So there's this one bit towards the end, right, where you need to use your force powers to seize an Imperial Star Destroyer and drag it down to earth.
Imma repeat that: in this game, playing as a character (shoehorned awkwardly into the lore) that is ostensibly considerably weaker than Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker and Yoda, you must seize a star destroyer with your force powers and drag it down to earth.
(WHY THE FUCK DID ANYONE USE LIGHTSABERS IF THE FORCE WAS THIS STRONG)
This is, at first glimpse, a thrilling encounter. You are shooting down TIE Fighters with your Force Lightning (WHAT IS THE POINT OF A LIGHTSABER IF I CAN DESTROY SPACE SHIPS WITH MIND LIGHTNING) to clear out the sky and buy yourself some time to drag that massive spaceship down, into the range of an anti-spaceship railgun.
The problem here lies in the PC controls. You do this with WSAD and mouse, rather than the dual-analog this encounter was clearly designed for.
What this means is, what was clearly intended to be two-analogs-pulling-down instead becomes "Hold S and sweep mouse downward like a flap-handed retard."
This works fine enough for the first two or three 'phases' of the encounter, getting it closer and closer and breaking off when the TIEs close in, but the very last phase, where you only have about 15 seconds to get the ship aligned JUST RIGHT to pull it down the very last bit of the way to the guns - it just fucking seemed like it was flat-out impossible with the WSAD and mouse control scheme.
What i mean is, it just stopped giving me the PULL IT DOWN NOW command. I fiddled and fiddled with alignment but nothing worked before the next wave of TIEs came down, leading to no shit one full hour of me shooting down ships with lightning and then running over to fiddle with terrible controls and then running right back to TIEs and lightning.
An hour.
And then, just when i finally almost had it, almost done, almost fucking done with this nonsense encounter, when the aforementioned shit targetting comes up and instead of shooting lightning at the ship RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME my toon decided instead to fire it at the explosive barrel next to me.
The explosion didn't kill me. It just blasted me up onto a handrail. Where i couldn't get off. Where I couldn't reach the TIEs. Where i couldn't reach the ship.
I said okay.
Okay. This will not beat me. I will do this again and that will not happen and i will be done with this silly fucking game.
So I reloaded.
Got to the same point.
Spent another FORTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES on that ridiculous MUST BE ALIGNED JUST RIGHT OR NO CAN PULL and then
and then
my avatar decided HEY INSTEAD OF THE TIE SHOOTING AT ME THAT I AM TARGETING I THINK INSTEAD I WILL LIGHTNING THAT CUTE LIL BARREL AGAIN WHEEEEEEEE
back up on the handrail where i can't complete the encounter.
Fuck this, I said. Fuck this, fuck Lucas, fuck Star Wars and fuck the force. I deleted all local content and immediately came to write this overlong ramble of death.
Thenkew.
Ah, but mine is on the 360. Thus, there were no real bugs.....well, for ME anyway.[sub]Cue incredibly lame pun[/sub]Caiti Voltaire said:
Yeah, I really should have gotten the 360 versions, apparently, so but hindsight's always 20/20 and there's little point to buying the game again when I've beaten it.Darth Caelum said:
The first one had control issues but was playable and the MAKO was horrid even on 360 as many people have rightfully so pointed out in reviews and such, but the second one you cannot even progress out of the first starting room because the game refuses to let you use the "usable' items such as the cabinet the gun is in, without a requisite 30 minutes of old-Sierra-adventure-game-esque pixel hunting.
Final Fantasy Dissidia: Inward Chaos as Kefka and crappy gear. I tried that last fight 57 times over the course of 3 days... still can't do it.
Left 4 Dead 2: The Parish finale on Expert Realism after going through the entire thing with some friends. Right before getting on the helicopter I was incapped by a flying rock that glitched through the fence. I was cheated out of "The Real Deal" by a glitch...
Final Fantasy 7: Playing at the marshes right after leaving Midgar. I forgot how to catch chocobos (really tired, and hadn't played in a bajillion years) and was trying to get past the effing snake. Eventually after coming to the conclusion that I wasn't going to outrun it I just power-leveled my materia and got bolt 3 and had Barret, Cloud, and Red XII at level 43. Afterwards I looked in my materia folder and saw Chocobo lure. I wasn't happy.
Left 4 Dead 2: The Parish finale on Expert Realism after going through the entire thing with some friends. Right before getting on the helicopter I was incapped by a flying rock that glitched through the fence. I was cheated out of "The Real Deal" by a glitch...
Final Fantasy 7: Playing at the marshes right after leaving Midgar. I forgot how to catch chocobos (really tired, and hadn't played in a bajillion years) and was trying to get past the effing snake. Eventually after coming to the conclusion that I wasn't going to outrun it I just power-leveled my materia and got bolt 3 and had Barret, Cloud, and Red XII at level 43. Afterwards I looked in my materia folder and saw Chocobo lure. I wasn't happy.
Force unleashed really, really, was over-comphensating for something. It seems like each successive star wars game has increasingly Deus-Ex-Machina style force powers with SW:KoTR2 getting pretty ridiculous in some spots. It appears to me at least that the developers of Force Unleashed sat in a room and determinedly set out to make a game that could not be one-upped at all period, which I suppose they succeeded in doing at least, but they need to be tactfully reminded that canon exists and they've basically gauranteed no sane Star Wars fan is ever going to give that game a serious look.xvbones said:
I do not understand this tack, personally.Caiti Voltaire said:
I just finished playing Mass Effect 1 on PC, the MAKO sections were perfectly fine. I have no idea why everyone jumped all over it - yes, the sections were tedious but while it handled like a dump trunk, it was nowhere near as bad as everyone'd told me.
I even got to enjoying those sections.
The fact that (in the PC version at least), it catapaults into the skybox or the ground dramatically with the slightest bump into vertical terrain, was what did it for me.xvbones said:
[edit] Oh and that timed sequence at the end in the MAKO? Yeah, that was a serious fuck you moment. I contemplated feeding the CD to next doors dog or finally indulging my childish curiosity of wanting to firsthand experience the microwaving of a CD after about the fiftieth fucking time of doing that.