Funny Gaming Dialogue

[StreetPizza]

Romance of the Three Kingdoms X-Event dialogue on Sun Ce and Zhou Yu's marriage to the two Qiaos. Paraphrased because I can't bother to look it up myself.

Female Civilian: Did you hear? Lord Sun Ce and Lord Zhou Yu have gotten married!
Player Character: Really? To whom?

Me: Uh, well...

Cue Dynasty Warriors fanfiction writer-splosion.

For those of you who don't know, Sun Ce and Zhou Yu are one of the most commonly paired couples by yaoi (guy-on-guy) fanfiction writers and this scene could easily be interpreted to mean a marriage between the two men. In fact, I hypothesize that the writer who made this little "blunder" actually did so intentionally because of its lack of importance. Well played, O self aware one.

 

[RheynbowDash]

"I figured that it had something to do with the monsters congregating in the regions around my wood." - Great Deku Tree, Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker

My sides hurt so much from laughing when i first saw this.

 

[CLEVERSLEAZOID]

Anything from the original Resident Evil.

And Scooter from Borderlands:

"Lucky's an old buddy of mine - and by old buddy I mean asshole that ruined my momma's girl parts. Sounds like he's in trouble so you go on ahead and try and keep him alive long enough so I can kill him at a later occasion."

"Thanks for keepin' that dickbag alive long enough for me to pound on later. Much as it pains me to admit, Lucky knows the area better than anyone. Might wanna use him whilst he's alive for me not having killed him and all."

"You go to Mad Mel and say Hi from Scooter. ... and by that I mean you just go murder the crap outta him, ye hear?"

"Now, I wasn't born in no barn, alright? Well... actually I was, but all I'm sayin' is you don't believe people runnin' around talkin' 'bout some magic door spewin' out treasure and the like, alright?"

 

[ffs-dontcare]

A few scenes in Crysis: Warhead.

For example, the part where you're on a train and engaging in a three-way conversation with O'Neill and your C.O., and O'Neill says over the radio, "You know what? Fuck Nomad!".

 

[MetalDooley]

Brutal Legend had some pretty funny lines

Eddie Riggs: How about this? How about you take off your fucking diaper, lay down your little baby foofoo, get in the bus and go do your fucking job!
Mangus: Dude, not cool! I wear this thing so I don't have to stop the bus to take a leak.


Eddie Riggs: Wait, how do I get fire tributes again?
The Guardian of Metal: Please the Fucking gods of metal, man.
Eddie Riggs: Ok, I'll be back covered in metal god love
The Guardian of Metal: Oh God!

 

[Snowden's Secret]

I'm guessing that anything from Zero Wing doesn't count. Either that or everybody's trying to dodge the meme bullet.
Some of the terrorists from Rainbow Six Las Vegas 2 say some funny banter during combat. Can't remember most of what they say, but on one level I did hear something to this effect:
Foe #1: "Cover me!"
Foe #2: "Fuck you, you cover me!"

 

[CowboyfromHell666]

Many of Alistair's lines in Dragon Age Origins crack me up.

"What? Lead? Me? No, no, no. No leading. Bad things happen when I lead. We get lost, people die, and the next thing you know I'm stranded somewhere without any pants."

"Yes, that's right! Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements! Feel my thorns, darkspawn! I will overpower you with my rosy scent!"

"Just so you know, if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line. Darkspawn or no."

I love Alistair.

Hahahaha I love Alistair too. There's funny dialogue between him and Morrigan when you are just wandering around.

 

[AnAngryMoose]

I'm surprised no one has said this yet...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTAVTkQx72w