Funny/Odd Private Messages you have recieved.

[The_Chief]

I got a call on my mobile with some guy saying I had his drugs and that he was going to come to my house and stab me in the face. That was fun, I presume he had the wrong number unless somebody has been buying drugs with my identity...

... is your name jenny?

 

[Major_Sam]

I'm a young sexy crazed woman who will stalk you for the low low price of cake. Order today and recieve in the free "How to train your stalker" hand book.

No one sends me weird messages. I don't even get spam. *sigh*

Hmm, stalking in person might be a bit of a problem as I intend to be a cop. Any chance I could contract you for some email stalking? I have cherry chip cake if it so interests you.

We can do that! Email stalking is our speaciality and cherry chip cake is a payment that could upgrade your stalking to email and random present drops for free!

 

[theSovietConnection]

We can do that! Email stalking is our speciality and cherry chip cake is a payment that could upgrade your stalking to email and random present drops for free!

Alright, when I finally get the money for my return trip to Australia, you should have your cherry chip cake.

 

[Tehpwnsauce]

Perhaps I'm such a good stalker that you had not realized that I was following you.

Hmm i may regret asking to be stalked on a public forum...oh well the more the merrier.

Great. Can you tell me next time you cut your nails, I've run out of trophies of you.

 

[the_dancy_vagrant]

Once when I first started playing WoW I ended up with a really pushy beggar trying to get money off of me. I don't have the mail he sent me anymore, should have made some permanent copies but meh. He whispered me asking if i could spare him some fairly small amount of money, something to the tune of 5 gold.

I messaged back 'no, go quest or farm like everyone else.' I should have just flagged ignore right then and there. The next day when I logged back in I had 15 or 16 mails from this doofus saying that I was a complete bastard, how could I not help out a person in need, etc. I do remember the last one he sent me, though. It went something like:

YOU AHSOLE just gvie me teh money and ill laeve you along

So I went through and replied to each one with the same response: Congrats! You've been reported for being a dumbass!