Funny quotes when out of context

[Queen Michael]

Let's all quote things that sound funny out of context!

"Not ALL problems can be solved by eating babies, Nixon!"
The Non-adventures of Wonderella

"I wish you wouldn't sexualize literary techniques, T-Rex."
Dinosaur Comics

 

[tmujir955]

"We may need you to play twing-twang."
Heavenly Sword

 

[Timotei]

"Yes, a cat is fine too."

 

[Kabutos]

"I was frozen today!"

 

[ae86gamer]

Commander Shepard: [sees the Thorian] That's... large. -Mass Effect

 

[bcponpcp27]

"It was terrible....terrible. Like a chicken."

That was from the original draft of Alien. Thank god it got gutted. What actually happened was that a crew members head got taken off by the alien. Makes a little more sense in context.

Also "Waldos akimbo! Like that cartoon cat!" from the first draft of a spiderman movie featuring doc ock

 

[Lexodus]

"Matt has such a bony bum! Feel it, Lex!"
~IRL

Uh, no thank you.

 

[TheCameraman]

Have you been... looking at my sword?

 

[Doomdiver]

"I can do it because it's still warm." - My friend... Today. Talking about re-moulding some form of wax sculpture he made when someone stabbed it with a compass.

 

[Xerosch]

"Do you know where I can find some sailors?"

"I can see it in their faces when they're going to bump me from behind"

 

[FlyAwayAutumn]

"I just thought you might like some extra seamen on your poopdeck." - Family Guy

 

[curlycrouton]

"I just thought you might like some extra seamen on your poopdeck." - Family Guy

That's not out of context, that's just wordplay. And unfunny wordplay at that.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

'That was a pretty good lay of yours last night, some of you are handy with a handspike.'-Treasure Island.

'I must go up and down like a cock no one can match.'-Shakespeare, I forget the play.

 

[vladtehimpaler]

Drugs can be used to attack, too. -TouHou 8 epic win if you've ever heard of it.

 

[SomethingUnrelated]

'I must go up and down like a cock no one can match.'-Shakespeare, I forget the play.

XD That's the funniest thing I've read all day. Nice one!

 

[FlyAwayAutumn]

"I just thought you might like some extra seamen on your poopdeck." - Family Guy

That's not out of context, that's just wordplay. And unfunny wordplay at that.

I suppose but it's the first thing that came to mind.

 

[Cargando]

"Mini-Me, stop humping the laser"

Don't know why that popped into my head, haven't seen it in ages...

 

[Kollega]

'I must go up and down like a cock no one can match.'-Shakespeare, I forget the play.

Oh my god. Shakespeare is fuckin' hilarious. I have something similar.

"It goes in... and out. Iin... and oout..." - Soviet Winnie The Pooh cartoon.

Spoiler: Sounds much dirtier than it really is.

It's about popped baloon that can be seamlessly put in an empty honeypot.

 

[Barky13]

"I was frozen today!"

This. I yelled it in the middle of an argument. Needless to say there was a lot of confusion.

 

[Break]

"Yes, a cat is fine too."

To be fair, depending on where you're quoting it from, that can be just as bad as it sounds.