Game Characters With The Stupidest Names

[EscapeGoat_v1legacy]

Cloud. Master Chief.

Cloud isn't a great name, I have to admit, and I reckon he probably went through some tough times at school.

Also, Master Chief is a title, rather than a name. It's a rank in one of the armed forces and I believe the full title is Master Chief Petty Officer.

Oh, and my vote goes towards Xemnas, a graduate with honours from the University of Names That Weren't Thought Out, due to his name being rearrangeable into something else. Poor guy.

 

[gigastrike]

Butz, Jet Brody, Shoot Gunner, Miles Prower, Andrew Oinkony.

 

[lostclause]

Master Chief (Crap name, had it came out in the 80s his name would've been Awesome Radman).

His real name is John. Master chief is his rank.

 

[Internet Kraken]

Cloud Strife

stupid stupid stupid

 

[Alcookie]

James Earl Cash from Manhunt, too obvious a reference.

 

[Fightgarr]

A friend of mine was really into the new Fire Emblem games so I was watching him play for a little while one day. Anyway, in the game there's this badass-looking dude named Tybarne (I believe its pronounced Tih-Barn). Now I realize its not that stupid, but if you're going to go through the effort of making a character be a badass, don't name them something that makes you think of a kitten.
I don't know why the name makes me think of kittens but it does.

 

[thecodemaster]

Saop MacTavish; the name is so bad the game itself insults you for it.

I was going to say Soap MacTavish. They must have really been desperate to think of something!

 

[Aznleeman]

Solid Snake always made me giggle.

That is, before MGS4. Now it makes me think of an old man waving a cane at some little kids on his lawn.

 

[Chadra]

Duke Nukem... nuff said

I disagree I think it's possibly the awesomest name in the world. It would only work if your surname was nukem though.

 

[TriggerUnhappy]

I'm surprised Solid Snake hasn't been mentioned yet, so I guess I'll be the one to say it. Solid Snake is a bad name, reminds me of a porn star more than an action hero. Still, the question remains, "can love bloom on a battlefield?"
EDIT: ninja'd, damn

 

[thecodemaster]

Forgot about Solid Snake. If you mention the name to someone who doesn't know its a character from MGS you have some quick explaining to do...

 

[Jon Etheridge]

Joe King form the game "Flight of the Amazon Queen". Good game, but Joe King... Joking.. come on, really?

-Jon
-Creator of Apocalypse Lane

 

[la-le-lu-li-lo]

and i have to say louis. i'm pretending my dyslexia read the title of this thread as 'names of stupid video game characters'. i'm looking at you louis. *glares*

but i must add that i think the metal gear names were actually awesome, except for the B&B squad. now that was just silly.

 

[Flunk]

Cloud (Never got behind him as a leading man). Gordon Freeman (Fishstick man from the future). Master Chief (Crap name, had it came out in the 80s his name would've been Awesome Radman). Crono (since in the title its Chrono trigger... if the excuse was "Crono is a similar name to Chrono, since no mom would name their kid Chrono, then why not give him one of the other seemingly normal names in the game? Red spikey hair in a Toriyama-designed cast (everyone looks the same) you could've called him Red, or like I did, Boner).

The real reason the character is named "Crono" and not "Chrono" is that the game only supports names that are a maximum of 5 characters long (which makes sense in Japanese, but not so much in English). In the Japanese version the character "クロノ"'s name is spelled the same as in the name of the game "クロノトリガー". Chrono Trigger was translated in a real rush and there are a few other weird oddities like that, for the 2008 re-translated version they decided to retain the original spellings of the character names as not to confuse people.

As for bad names, I nominate every character so far mentioned for FF13. Lightning, Snow Villiers, Oerba Dia Vanille, Sazh Katzroy? WTF is that.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Jack ("The Terrier") Russel (Thank you Unskippable)

 

[Heart of Darkness]

Jack Hammer from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. I mean, I get that the names are supposed to be puns, but Jack Hammer? It ties with Sal Manella, but at least that name fits.

 

[Lovelocke]

I believe the full title is Master Chief Petty Officer.

XD!

Also, 'bout Crono: Yeah I know about the 5-letter thing... I'm just trying to get cheap heat from CT fanboys.

 

[Gotham Soul]

Squall Leonhart.