Game designers I am requesting a moratorium on . . .

[Mr Mellowguy]

33. Anything that has the name "Petz" in it.

For that matter, I find anything that adds a "Z" or a "X" (xtreme instead of extreme), is incredibly annoying

40. Paying 1/6 of the price of the game for an expansion that's about 1/18 of the size of the actual game.

 

[Duck Sandwich]

41. Random Chances (ie, 10% chance of critical strike, 25% chance to dodge, etc). For shit's sake, anything that relies completely on luck and throws skill out the window makes the game worse.

 

[the monopoly guy]

crates!

somebody reads or has dread OPM. No?


Escort missions and stealth levels in games that are not primarily stealth.
And quality control.

16. What i like to call Gordon Frohman Syndrome (google him), excessive explosive barrels just for the sake of those pretty explosions (Im looking at you BF:BC).

Hmm, never heard of him

 

[Imitation Saccharin]

somebody reads or has dread OPM. No?

You realize your precious Valve fails horribly at games if graded by the crate scale, right?

Muwahaha.

Aww, I made myself sad.


*nostalgia*

 

[Kermi]

19. Infinite respawning enemies. Never again, you hear?

I happen to absolutely love infinite respwaning enemies. As long as they're fun to fight against and they give you something when you kill them.
That's the essence of grinding my friend.
Isn't it fun to be like 100 levels over the boss when you get there?

Except when the game scales the enemies to your level and the boss becomes harder to beat at level 100 than level 1. I get that developers are concerned about a game being too easy for obsessive grinders or too hard for casual players so they have to scale the enemies somehow - but I like grinding in RPGs for the sole reason that it makes me a badass capable of whipping everything around me like a ragdoll.

 

[McDayman]

43. Goofy or obnoxious character animations, especially making the main character run like a fairy. I'm looking at you Star Ocean.

 

[hem dazon 90]

I think I might be the only person alive who likes quicktime events.quote] make that two

 

[Aardvark]

Elves, Dwarves and Orcs. Stop using them altogether. Invent some new fantasy races, for crying out loud. How about more fantasy games in which there are no humans, either?

Make more controller only FPS games, just to give the finger to those keyboard nazis.

More HD games, not less. Give the poor, tired, huddled masses who need to shelter around their 15cm screens, connected through RF converters something to work towards. A goal in life. And make that goal 1080p.

Unblockable/undodgeable attacks and other unpredictable death events that are only avoidable after reloading several times and studying the exact pattern of events leading up to said death.

More imaginative achievements/trophies. Killing 250 of monster X is a grind quest, not something to be proud of. Dragging that stupid fucking gnome across 5 chapters and 2 vehicle rides without losing the little prick is something to hold your head up about, while those around you just plain worry about what kind of weird OCD variant you must possess.

 

[Batadon]

44a. Seriously, if you're going to make me make a decision, have it actually matter. This is 2008, we really don't need any more 80s-90s "But thou must!" situations.

44b. If you're going to make a game with multiple endings, please try to make the endings, um, DIFFERENT.

 

[TaboriHK]

Making anything unskippable. Nothing is so important that we need to see it EVERY GODDAMN TIME IT HAPPENS.

 

[josh797]

I think I might be the only person alive who likes quicktime events.quote] make that two

3!!!

heres mine: put in limbs in the first person cam.

i feel like a fucking spirit or a floating camera in games like halo and stuff. i hate golden eye syndrom with just the gun showing and thats it. i have limbs! i can see them *points* there, right there in that cutscene! i knew it. draw them please! make me flail about or whatnot when i get a grenade in the face.

 

[SimuLord]

Making anything unskippable. Nothing is so important that we need to see it EVERY GODDAMN TIME IT HAPPENS.

But the developer would rather gouge out his eyes with a rusty steel toothpick than even countenance for one second the idea that someone wouldn't want to see every bit of his cinematic masterpiece, right Kojima-san?

 

[L4Y Duke]

I think I might be the only person alive who likes quicktime events.quote] make that two

3!!!

heres mine: put in limbs in the first person cam.

i feel like a fucking spirit or a floating camera in games like halo and stuff. i hate golden eye syndrom with just the gun showing and thats it. i have limbs! i can see them *points* there, right there in that cutscene! i knew it. draw them please! make me flail about or whatnot when i get a grenade in the face.

Oh, yeah. Floating-head-syndrome really pisses me off.

 

[Flour]

I think I might be the only person alive who likes quicktime events.quote] make that two

3!!!

4 for the Quick Time Events.
Well, at least if they're done properly. Jericho did them fairly well, but it was too random.(you never knew if an enemy was going to stick that metal spike in your face or start the "press X to survive" event)

 

[The_Deleted]

Hype!
I realise that you need to make people aware of your game and no doubt you're excited by what you hope to accomplish but I can promise you the more you inform us that the game will be the greatest thing to mankind ever the more we'll be completely non-plussed when we play it.

I mean, surely it's commom sense, right?




Right?

 

[WhiteFangofWhoa]

Again, and to summarize, unskippable cutscenes. Especially before a boss battle! I can now recite GoW 2's boss cutscenes perfectly line for line, and NOT because I wanted to learn how!

Repeating voices. Just have a counter that keeps track of the number of times a certain line's been repeated, then cancel that line when it's been said a few dozen times. Yes I can mute it, but some game music these days is really good. Particularly bad offenders are the Tales games.

 

[jackanderson]

46. "Imagine..." can I even bring up the courage to call it a game?
47. "Games" that aren't really games.