Gamers in relationships.

[Kaez]

I've been with my Fiance for 5 and a half years. Inititally she wasn't keen on me playing games as much, but she started playing them with me and things started to change. It's still slow going, but she plays more games now than she used to.

When we started dating she and I mostly played N64 and Ps2 games (Soul Caliber/Tekken Ps2 and Goldeneye/Mario Party N64) and now she's playing more stuff. I got her into Diablo, she started playing DDO, and likes Dragon Age Origins, along with N64 games, Wii games (SSBB, Mario Kart, Raving Rabbits TV, just to name a few).

And she also likes DnD 3.5 (which is funny becuase I only had a small intrest, and she initally had none, but as we played we learned we both liked it)

I feel lucky

 

[shwnbob]

The girls I "dated" always used to text me at night when I played video games the most. It's the main reason I broke up with most of those girls. Well, that and because NONE of them were gamers so their wasn't a lot for us to talk about...

 

[Cade the Imperfect]

i dated a girl that didn't like gaming. But i feel that was mainly do to just following the social pressure. So i gave her sims, and spore and well....never saw her for a week. Addictive hobby we have.

 

[Ignatz_Zwakh]

I don't think I've actually dated a gamer....not counting a fling I had with another man...oh wait, no, there was this one girl who was obsessed with Nintendo. Nah, not too many gamers.

 

[Ben Legend]

Yes... I have done in the past. And I am now.

Next question please.

 

[Firia]

As a gamer, do you think you could date someone who wasn't one, no matter how ridiculously good looking they are.

Easy question, easy answer; yes. Already have. Almost already do. Besides, dating? Pfft, easy as cake.

 

[Royta]

I prefer it, I've dated tons of girlgamers but it just didn't work for me.
I want a normal girl who accepts that I like gaming and comics, but isn't too big into them. It has to stay my 'escape' thingy.

 

[Fenra]

Sure it can work, provided, like any relationship, you put in the effort and your priorities lie in the right place.

Gaming for most is merely one aspect of thier personality, the question then becomes how great an aspect is it and how can you ballance that around your relationship with a "non-gamer". For some its easy, for others... well if your chosing WoW raids over him/her then chances are the relationship wasnt right in the first place.

Its not unique to gaming either, ive seen it happen over films, books, music.... even food. Chances are if they get so hung up on one part of your personality it wasnt the right relationship to begin with, most relationships that end werent right. I'm not a believer of the "one person for everyone" or finding "mr/mrs right" but each relationship that falls lets you learn more about who you are compatable with.

And a good point to mention is even if they are not into gaming, simply excluding them wont help, I've made huge progress in relationships in the past by trying to include them, prime example I let my boyfriend use my WoW character for a while one night while I sat watching him. Try to bring them into "your world", even if they dont get into it they will feel closer to you for your effort and deffinatly wont feel "ignored" as can sometimes happen.

 

[Monsterfurby]

My girlfriend for three years now is pretty much on my level when it comes to nerdiness, although I am more of a storyteller-roleplayer type while she is more of the programmer-science nerd. But we make a good match.
I wouldn't consider her a gamer though, so all in all I guess that gamerism is not really something that makes or breaks a relationship. Too many other factors are involved.

 

[Capt. Crankypants]

Hell yes. To be honest, I'd prefer a sporty chick over a 'gamer girl' every time. Find me a combination of the two (much like myself), with a beautiful personality, pretty face and a cute bum, and it's a dream come true =D

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

I did. She ended up tearing up my heart in seventeen different directions for no real reason, but I digress. I did, and it worked for a little while, or at least I thought it did.

 

[captaincabbage]

I'm not sure. Gaming is a huge part of my life and my girlfriend's life, so unless they understood and respected that I'd have to say no.

 

[INF1NIT3 D00M]

I am in a relationship with someone who's pretty much a non-gamer. She's in my DnD group, but that's it. And she played some Sonic the Hedgehog when she was younger.

This sounds like my girlfriend, though you have to substitute DnD for Star Wars Tabletop RPG and change Sonic to Kirby. We have some pretty different interests, since I like video games and paintball while she likes dirtbikes and music. We still share a love of books and movies, so it all works out.
To be honest, her interest in what most would consider "manlier" things like dirt bikes or ATVs are what drew me to her initially, though over time the hobbies the two of us have really started to shrink in importance as we got to know each other better.She could decide tomorrow that she likes frilly dresses and wants to listen to nothing but the latest taylor swift album and I'd still love her.

 

[XJ-0461]

Yeah, I'm doing that right now. I'm not exactly the biggest gamer on the planet though. Comic books however... she doesn't like those either. I got lucky though, and she likes how geeky I am. ^.^

EDIT: Wooo 5000th post!!!

 

[Wutaiflea]

This is a bit of a strange question from my point of view.

Since when you get together with someone, its often due to having several things in common, a gamer is more likely to enter a relationship with another gamer than not- I've only ever had one (albeit rather casual relationship) with someone who had no interest in games, but we had a lot of other things in common.

You don't need to have all the same interests to have a successful relationship, but still, it tends to turn out that your major interests are compatible, but, given the amount of gaming I do, it'd be difficult for me to imagine finding someone that would put up with me if they weren't also a gamer.

 

[Michael826]

Easy. Gaming isn't such a dominant part of my life that it would impact any prospective relationship I might have. I've actually been in a relationship for two years as I type this, and although she enjoys games, she's far from a 'gamer'. Although, perhaps I'm not the best example, considering I've been gaming seriously less and less over the last few years. The console I spend most time with is my Nintendo 64.

 

[The_Blue_Rider]

Um yes, gaming is my favourite hobby but it doesnt really define me. If she hated games, but apart that i really liked her, i would have no problem. I guess though it really depends on how into the gaming scene you are, for example i game a lot, but there are times when i go long periods without picking up a controller, it depends on how much you like gaming compared to how much you like your partner

 

[Jonluw]

Yes, yes I think so.
I see no reason not to, so long as they do not hate videogames with a passion.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

Yes you indeed can. Well, I should not say that exactly but rather the only thing that keeps such a relationship from working are the people. You do not need to share hobbies with a partner for a relationship to work, and indeed it is probably best that there is at least one significant thing different about you and your partner.

There can of course be plenty of problems if your significant other is a non-gamer. Many people on these boards (and probably a fair number in this very thread) use games as more than a distraction or entertainment (or any of the usual things people might play games for); indeed, many of us are (or at least have at some point) using games as a surrogate for meatspace relationships. You can keep playing games for all those other things, but the minute you have another human in your life it is best to stop playing games for this purpose. It is hard enough to build a relationship without having to split your limited attention between clever math and a living and breathing entity with dreams and emotions of their own.

Alyx won't get jealous if you leave.

-edit-
And, for the record, I have had 6 girl friends and only one of them played games (or rather, only one played the same sort of games as I did. All of them played games from time to time, but they were of the solitaire/bejewled/facebook sort).

 

[dancinginfernal]

No. They don't get it, and when I dated them they gave no effort to try and understand.

Not to be sexist or anything, but some women need to learn to be quieter.