Gaming Cardinal Sins
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Thou shalt not create a PC game in which the movement functions are mapped on the right side of the keyboard, and the action functions are mapped to the left side, unless there is a simple and reliable way to change them.
Seriously, we've been trained since 1985 that you move with the left hand, act with the right. Muscle memory is not so easily overcome.
Seriously, we've been trained since 1985 that you move with the left hand, act with the right. Muscle memory is not so easily overcome.
1. Thou shalt not have on-line passes.
1a. If thou doth have on-line passes, thou shalt give an option to say "I never want to buy this on-line pass".
1b. If yon noble player doth chose said option, thou shalt shut the fuck up about the on-line pass.
2. If yon noble player does not have a map pack, only once shalt thou offer said bountiful map-pack to the player.
2a. Nor shalt thou constantly tell yon noble player about matches being played on said unwanted map-pack, especially, and I want to make this absolutely clear, especially if yon noble player has selected "quick match"; said offering being neither quick in it downloading, nor a match the player wishes.
3. If thou has released an Ultra version of a game, and a selling point of the game is that one can play character from yon earlier Super, nay Super Arcade Edition of said game, also shall one allow one's player to play on-line with players from said earlier games; especially when (lo!) every one else on Ultra is but as a God in skill and constantly kick said noble players arse (and there was a wailing and a nash of teeth).
4. Thou shalt not put achievements, nay trophies neither, requiring on-line play.
4a. If doth put achievements, requiring on-line play, thou shalt not require yon noble player to win one match on all on-line match types; mark thee well that anon not a soul shall be found on most of these on-line match types, there having been an exodus to the land of Team Deathmatch.
5. Regarding the games that are known as "racing games".
5a. Thou game shalt not include the Nurburgring yet again; verily does this displease me mightily in its length, nature and ubiquitousness
5b. Thou shalt offer the player the choice of manual gears.
5c. Thou shalt show player the relative speed, handling and acceleration when choosing cars in an easy to compare table.
5d. If thou has a Hot Lap mode, thou shalt include yon noble players ghost and split times for each section. For verily if even Sonic Racing can such a thing do, who amongst you can call thineself a serious racing game, and yet not follow the least amongst you in such a simple matter.
5e. I mean it about the fucking Nurburgring.
6. Regarding the games that are known as "roleplaying games".
6a. On the first day God created a default Man and created an adventure for him. And he filled this adventure with NPCs. And he saw that this was good.
6b. On the second day God took the adventure and changed it so that a Woman could play also. And this was also good.
6c. But God did not update said adventure so that NPCs did know that the adventurer was now fair of sex, and such female NPCs as were found in the world did flirt outrageously with said female adventurer in a manner than was most inappropriate. Let it be known that fain were these the inhabitants of isle of Saphos, but instead ignorant were they of the true nature of the hero, and mightily did it show. And neither did the male NPCs flirt with the male adventurer in such a manner, this being unclean in the sight of the Lord. And this was not good, nay it was half-arsed.
6d. And on the third day, God made an adventure and gave him a grey beard, in the likeness of Gandalf the Gray. Also could he give him a white beard, in the likeness of Gandalf the White. Flexible was his character creation engine.
6e. But again, God did not inform the NPCs of his world, so they all said how young and handsome he looked and all the female NPCs in the world did flirt mightily with him, and he formed a relationship with one of the NPCs and came to know her and no-one remarked on how he was old enough to be her Grandfather.
6f. And it came to pass that in the adventure, the Blood Mages were unholy and evil and the performance of their magicks was agreed to be an abomination against the Lord.
6g. And said grey beard adventurer entered the fade and a devil tempted him with the power of Blood Magic.
6h. And said grey beard thought "That looks really cool, I'll have me some of that"
6f. And yeah he came to use the Blood Magic in every battle from that day forward.
6g. And yet no-one in the party passed comment on his Blood Magic, but were vexed mightily when other NPCs used it.
...
I could go on like this all night. But don't worry I won't.
1a. If thou doth have on-line passes, thou shalt give an option to say "I never want to buy this on-line pass".
1b. If yon noble player doth chose said option, thou shalt shut the fuck up about the on-line pass.
2. If yon noble player does not have a map pack, only once shalt thou offer said bountiful map-pack to the player.
2a. Nor shalt thou constantly tell yon noble player about matches being played on said unwanted map-pack, especially, and I want to make this absolutely clear, especially if yon noble player has selected "quick match"; said offering being neither quick in it downloading, nor a match the player wishes.
3. If thou has released an Ultra version of a game, and a selling point of the game is that one can play character from yon earlier Super, nay Super Arcade Edition of said game, also shall one allow one's player to play on-line with players from said earlier games; especially when (lo!) every one else on Ultra is but as a God in skill and constantly kick said noble players arse (and there was a wailing and a nash of teeth).
4. Thou shalt not put achievements, nay trophies neither, requiring on-line play.
4a. If doth put achievements, requiring on-line play, thou shalt not require yon noble player to win one match on all on-line match types; mark thee well that anon not a soul shall be found on most of these on-line match types, there having been an exodus to the land of Team Deathmatch.
5. Regarding the games that are known as "racing games".
5a. Thou game shalt not include the Nurburgring yet again; verily does this displease me mightily in its length, nature and ubiquitousness
5b. Thou shalt offer the player the choice of manual gears.
5c. Thou shalt show player the relative speed, handling and acceleration when choosing cars in an easy to compare table.
5d. If thou has a Hot Lap mode, thou shalt include yon noble players ghost and split times for each section. For verily if even Sonic Racing can such a thing do, who amongst you can call thineself a serious racing game, and yet not follow the least amongst you in such a simple matter.
5e. I mean it about the fucking Nurburgring.
6. Regarding the games that are known as "roleplaying games".
6a. On the first day God created a default Man and created an adventure for him. And he filled this adventure with NPCs. And he saw that this was good.
6b. On the second day God took the adventure and changed it so that a Woman could play also. And this was also good.
6c. But God did not update said adventure so that NPCs did know that the adventurer was now fair of sex, and such female NPCs as were found in the world did flirt outrageously with said female adventurer in a manner than was most inappropriate. Let it be known that fain were these the inhabitants of isle of Saphos, but instead ignorant were they of the true nature of the hero, and mightily did it show. And neither did the male NPCs flirt with the male adventurer in such a manner, this being unclean in the sight of the Lord. And this was not good, nay it was half-arsed.
6d. And on the third day, God made an adventure and gave him a grey beard, in the likeness of Gandalf the Gray. Also could he give him a white beard, in the likeness of Gandalf the White. Flexible was his character creation engine.
6e. But again, God did not inform the NPCs of his world, so they all said how young and handsome he looked and all the female NPCs in the world did flirt mightily with him, and he formed a relationship with one of the NPCs and came to know her and no-one remarked on how he was old enough to be her Grandfather.
6f. And it came to pass that in the adventure, the Blood Mages were unholy and evil and the performance of their magicks was agreed to be an abomination against the Lord.
6g. And said grey beard adventurer entered the fade and a devil tempted him with the power of Blood Magic.
6h. And said grey beard thought "That looks really cool, I'll have me some of that"
6f. And yeah he came to use the Blood Magic in every battle from that day forward.
6g. And yet no-one in the party passed comment on his Blood Magic, but were vexed mightily when other NPCs used it.
...
I could go on like this all night. But don't worry I won't.
As sort of a related cardinal sin: Thou shalt not have cutscenes or other non-interactive moments, including those that start off as QTEs before turning into these moments, showcasing thy character executing actions much cooler than anything yon players can do themselves or anything yon players can do as dynamically in a 1:1 controls fashion.al4674 said:
Also,al4674 said:
Thou shalt not try to pass off badly implemented trial-and-error gameplay as something "thought intensive" or otherwise non-monotonous especially in a puzzle solving game
and
Thou shalt not include an autosave system only, yet also, not include an option to start at or replay specific moments of the game. Thou shalt doth one or the other, regardless whether yon game works in a mission/level type of way or a more sandbox/open world manner.
-Thou shalt strive for both a custom save option and the latter option when feasible.
-When broken thou shalt, at least, include a boss battle mode, especially if boss battles are FAR superior than previous game*
*(since you mentioned the Arkham games) as broken by Arkham City
Yeah, and here's a sub-level cardinal sin for dishonesty: Thou shalt not advertise characters as being a bigger part of the game than they end up being.sageoftruth said:
So much wasted potential in Deadshot and Lady Shiva in Batman: Arkham Origins. Heck, even ones that weren't just shoved into side missions were underwhelming: Looking at you Deathstroke. It's not that I thought the game would live up to the series namesake; heck, I called the Joker overtaking the story bit (not in the exact way it played out, admittedly). But still.
I hate bad optimization period, the worse graphics is just an extra layer of nonsense. My laptop is perfectly capable of running some newer games, but I still have to lower the settings to minimum because it was never optimized for PC.GalanDun said:
This was especially frustrating when I accidentally spilled tomato soup on the laptop because I was too lazy to move it to the side and just get up, grab the bowl,, and bring it down to me. Noooooo, instead I had to be stupid and struggle to reach the soup on the table, to the right and above my head, while I had my laptop lying on my stomach while I lie on the floor . That crippled my laptop, but it was still in good enough condition after repair to run aforementioned games at lower settings if those games had been properly optimized. Now, it just can't run them at a decent FPS, if at all. Obviously the tomato soup thing is my fault, but it's annoying that my laptop is perfectly capable nonetheless. Then again, it is meant mostly for school and even so, a dedicated gaming rig a laptop is not meant to be.
OT: I think this [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/comicsandcosplay/comics/critical-miss/8230-The-Collectable-Doodad-Commandments] is appropriate as well.
You win. Seriously, this particularly crappy form of QTE had to be invented by someone who never gamed before in his/her life. I can't do these with my thumb, either. I have to use my palm, and shake my hand for the wiggling QTE, and do this weird arm thing for the rotating QTE. Neither looks right if I've got a cam on.AmberSword said:
I haven't played this game so I could be wrong but based on what I've heard, there are forced stealth segments in Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2. So,
Game: Lords of Shadow 2
Sin: Thou shalt not take an unmeasurable bad-ass character like Dracula and weaken him to the point that there are mandatory stealth sections
Another one I have,
Games with unskippable cutscenes, long cutscenes or, QTEs within their cutscenes:
Sin: Thou shalt NOT surprise players with a QTE during the course of a cutscene. I hear this was a source of grief within Resident Evil 4
and finally,
Game: Alice - Madness Returns
Sin: Thou shalt NOT boss-tease!
Game: Lords of Shadow 2
Sin: Thou shalt not take an unmeasurable bad-ass character like Dracula and weaken him to the point that there are mandatory stealth sections
Another one I have,
Games with unskippable cutscenes, long cutscenes or, QTEs within their cutscenes:
Sin: Thou shalt NOT surprise players with a QTE during the course of a cutscene. I hear this was a source of grief within Resident Evil 4
and finally,
Game: Alice - Madness Returns
Sin: Thou shalt NOT boss-tease!
I believe the word you're looking for is "thyst".ThingWhatSqueaks said:
...and yes, I don't think that's a glitch but it is supremely annoying. So this boss just killed me... I'd better take him on again right away only this time I'll be half-equipped - good plan!
as for me:
In a QTE thou shallt not use keys with no assigned function in normal gameplay.
I'm looking at you Tomb Raider - I can't count the number of times I was insta-gibbed because I was using mouse & WASD when a QTE suddenly called for me to press "K". Typing of the Dead gets a pass because that's the point of the game, everyone else needs to get their heads out of their asses.
Thou shalt not institute a grid-based inventory system without the ability to turn items 90 degrees to fit them better. I'm looking at you, Path of Exile.
So's my PC. My PC is more powerful than the Xbox or GameCube and yet I can't run games at their level even in games made for PC, like Left 4 Dead 2.jamail77 said:
And it's utterly ridiculous how a lot of games that work on the Xbox 360 (Which is, again, less powerful than my PC) don't work on my PC at a decent speed without lowering the graphical quality. Which is why I like consoles.
Also:
Thou Shalt Not have mouse controls ported 1:1 to joysticks. DooM 3 has this issue and so did Silent Hill: Shattered Memories.
Game: Various, example: Mass Effect series
Sin: Thou shalt not have unremappable controls on PC.
We are not playing with a controller with around 12 buttons counting a D-Pad. There are options. No reason to even have a contextual button for everything. Specifically though, I despise that ME1 has crouch mapped to the right Ctrl button. My hands are small, Bioware. I hit the Windows key in the heat of the moment. Dammit, the C button is not even used, why can't I map crouch to C?
Sin: Thou shalt not have unremappable controls on PC.
We are not playing with a controller with around 12 buttons counting a D-Pad. There are options. No reason to even have a contextual button for everything. Specifically though, I despise that ME1 has crouch mapped to the right Ctrl button. My hands are small, Bioware. I hit the Windows key in the heat of the moment. Dammit, the C button is not even used, why can't I map crouch to C?
Thou shalt not glitch when said game feels like it
*looks at Sonic 06*
Thou shalt not lack button customization
*looks at certain fighting games*
Thou shalt not remind me of one's own DLC
*looks at [insert game here]*
Thou shalt not pad out game for "100% completion" sake
*looks at [insert game here]*
I was also going to add a "thou shalt not mimic real life without proper context", but then I realized that I have not [yet?] played a David Cage game...
*looks at Sonic 06*
Thou shalt not lack button customization
*looks at certain fighting games*
Thou shalt not remind me of one's own DLC
*looks at [insert game here]*
Thou shalt not pad out game for "100% completion" sake
*looks at [insert game here]*
I was also going to add a "thou shalt not mimic real life without proper context", but then I realized that I have not [yet?] played a David Cage game...
"Thine Sequels shall not have less content for no apparent reason. Honor the Sequel as a way of improving yon game, not abusing it"
I'm looking at you here, Sims 4.
"Thou shall not assume thine player careth about a character, if thine player has no reason to care about said character."
"Moral choice systems are a ruse of the Bad Developer. He tempts thee with the promise of increaseed replayability and greater consequence of thine players acctions, but heed not his word. Following his path, instead you'll only find Having-to-replay-the-game-to-see-all-the-content and Answering-the-same-question-over-and-over-again. No, there is nothing but pain along that path. Stay away, and thine players shall thank thee"
I'm looking at you here, Sims 4.
"Thou shall not assume thine player careth about a character, if thine player has no reason to care about said character."
"Moral choice systems are a ruse of the Bad Developer. He tempts thee with the promise of increaseed replayability and greater consequence of thine players acctions, but heed not his word. Following his path, instead you'll only find Having-to-replay-the-game-to-see-all-the-content and Answering-the-same-question-over-and-over-again. No, there is nothing but pain along that path. Stay away, and thine players shall thank thee"
The thing about 999 is that you CAN speed up the text.......TizzytheTormentor said:
if you've already seen it.
So there's no way to speed through text on your first playthrough, unfortunately, but after getting one ending the subsequent playthroughs should go much quicker as you'll be skipping through all the bits you've already read. You'll still have to do all the puzzles again, though; Virtue's Last Reward handled this much better IMO by allowing you to just jump straight past the bits you'd done to the important choices, therefore removing the need to skip through text or do the very first puzzle for the umpteenth time.
A couple of sins from Vanquish now, which I'm otherwise rather enjoying:
Thou shalt make it clear whether a QTE requires a single button press or continued mashing. I'll know in future that Vanquish QTEs require mashing, but the first time an 'X' came up and flashed intermittently at me I just pressed each time it flashed, not realising that it meant 'mash'. Needless to say, I died, leading to my next sin.
Thou shalt ensure that thy checkpoints are reasonably spaced. More than once I've stopped playing in frustration having got through a very lengthy battle only to die on some stupid environmental event that I didn't know was coming. It would be nice to have a checkpoint BETWEEN those two things.
Thou shalt include some form of full Anti-Aliasing. Seriously, it's been around for a decade, there's no excuse not to have it in modern games.
Thou shalt not overly restrict or railroad character classes in RPGs (by, say, only allowing one class to actually hit the side of a barn with all four types of gun in-game).
Thou shalt include the option to autosave openworld games (for those of us who forget to F5 before wandering into a dungeon after 3 hours of unsaved play)
Thou shalt not ruin slowpaced stealth franchises by encouraging open aggression and evading pursuers instead of staying quiet in the first place.
Thou shalt not pad-out openworld games with excessive crafting and collection quests.
Thou shalt not continuously release paid DLC while significant gameplay problems still exist in the vanilla game. In fact, thou shalt not release simple unitpacks, gunpacks, and cosmetic changes as paid DLC at all.
Also, this:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/comicsandcosplay/comics/critical-miss/8230-The-Collectable-Doodad-Commandments
Thou shalt not overly restrict or railroad character classes in RPGs (by, say, only allowing one class to actually hit the side of a barn with all four types of gun in-game).
Thou shalt include the option to autosave openworld games (for those of us who forget to F5 before wandering into a dungeon after 3 hours of unsaved play)
Thou shalt not ruin slowpaced stealth franchises by encouraging open aggression and evading pursuers instead of staying quiet in the first place.
Thou shalt not pad-out openworld games with excessive crafting and collection quests.
Thou shalt not continuously release paid DLC while significant gameplay problems still exist in the vanilla game. In fact, thou shalt not release simple unitpacks, gunpacks, and cosmetic changes as paid DLC at all.
Also, this:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/comicsandcosplay/comics/critical-miss/8230-The-Collectable-Doodad-Commandments
Though shall not portion up thy game and sell it in pieces.
Seriously, no more DLC bullshit. Give me a proper expansion and I will probably buy it - provided I enjoyed your game.
A short side mission, character skin, a bunch of items, a character... these are like buying individual pieces to eventually assemble a sandwich. Just sell me the whole fucking thing from the start. Then ask if I want another later.
It's rather telling that my reaction to any new game coming out nowadays has become "I'll just wait a year of so for the complete version", but that is what I do.
capcha: cucumber sandwich[footnote]If that sandwich was a game then the cucumber would be sold separately, a few months later, or as a bonus if I buy the sandwich several weeks in advance.[/footnote]
Seriously, no more DLC bullshit. Give me a proper expansion and I will probably buy it - provided I enjoyed your game.
A short side mission, character skin, a bunch of items, a character... these are like buying individual pieces to eventually assemble a sandwich. Just sell me the whole fucking thing from the start. Then ask if I want another later.
It's rather telling that my reaction to any new game coming out nowadays has become "I'll just wait a year of so for the complete version", but that is what I do.
capcha: cucumber sandwich[footnote]If that sandwich was a game then the cucumber would be sold separately, a few months later, or as a bonus if I buy the sandwich several weeks in advance.[/footnote]
This one I can forgive, but only if the game is designed with enough versatility. If I choose to be a Bard, then I'd better be able to sing my way past the final boss, instead of having to grind myself into an sub-par fighter character.OneCatch said:
And walking. I hate spending 80% of a game trying to get from one place to another with nothing significant happening.OneCatch said:
Thou shalt not have an invisible "Combat area" which players are forbidden to leave.
Thou shalt not forbid players to think for themselves.
Thous shalt not mistake "required grinding" for "difficulty".
Thou shalt not mistake "cutscenes" for "story".
Thou shalt not forbid players to think for themselves.
Thous shalt not mistake "required grinding" for "difficulty".
Thou shalt not mistake "cutscenes" for "story".
1. If thy game has combat mechanics, thou shalt ensure that thy combat mechanics work.
1a. If thy game has dodging, thou shalt ensure that there are things which can be dodged.
1b. If thy game has group tactics, thou shalt ensure that the team AI follows them.
1c. If thy game has many attack options, thou shalt ensure that one is not better than the others in every way.
1d. If thy game requires clever use of many attack options, thou shalt not make it cumbersome to switch between them.
1a. If thy game has dodging, thou shalt ensure that there are things which can be dodged.
1b. If thy game has group tactics, thou shalt ensure that the team AI follows them.
1c. If thy game has many attack options, thou shalt ensure that one is not better than the others in every way.
1d. If thy game requires clever use of many attack options, thou shalt not make it cumbersome to switch between them.
If thine game world is large enough to require Fast Travel, and the areas fast traveled to are massive, and thy fast travel points are not spots of safety and refuge (ala Dark Souls) then thou shalt not require the player to hunt down a fast travel point located only at the entrance to thine area and not at thy end in order to Fast Travel
Offender: Borderlands 2 (I recently was powerleveling a character with a friend and we wanted to return to town to dump all the quests)
Appdendum: Should thou install limitations on the rules of Fast Travelling (no combat and so on), thou shalt make sure those limits aren't finicky and have a system in place to ensure the player knows what's stopping their Fast Travel (hunting down a nonthreatening mob that registers as a hostile enemy without any clue as to where this 6 inch bug with a grudge or the hostile enemy that's well outside whatever radar you have is has caused so many "Can I travel now?!" moments, but I can't remember the specific offenders for stuff like this)
Offender: Borderlands 2 (I recently was powerleveling a character with a friend and we wanted to return to town to dump all the quests)
Appdendum: Should thou install limitations on the rules of Fast Travelling (no combat and so on), thou shalt make sure those limits aren't finicky and have a system in place to ensure the player knows what's stopping their Fast Travel (hunting down a nonthreatening mob that registers as a hostile enemy without any clue as to where this 6 inch bug with a grudge or the hostile enemy that's well outside whatever radar you have is has caused so many "Can I travel now?!" moments, but I can't remember the specific offenders for stuff like this)