Gaming Romances that just don't work

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Unit Alpha

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Jan 3, 2009
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Personally, I liked Liara's ME1 romance but didn't care that much for Ashley's. I haven't done Tali's in ME2 but it's obviously getting a lot of support.

I do like the Elika/Prince "romance" from the newest PoP. It's very subtle and the VAing is surprisingly well done.
 

MiracleOfSound

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Jan 3, 2009
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meganmeave said:
EPIC SNIP
It's all about the sex with us humans. Just ask that Quarian in the bar on Illium.

My fem-Shep was pissed at that situation too, she wanted to lez out with the glamorous Samara but instead she gets to pick between Scales or Gills.
 

Meggiepants

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Jan 19, 2010
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MiracleOfSound said:
meganmeave said:
EPIC SNIP
It's all about the sex with us humans. Just ask that Quarian in the bar on Illium.

My fem-Shep was pissed at that situation too, she wanted to lez out with the glamorous Samara but instead she gets to pick between Scales or Gills.
Oh come on, gills are hot as hell! Their all frilly and fringie, and when you kiss a gilled creature, they can still breath without stealing your air. An important feature, truly. I wonder if he was coldblooded too...

I was absolutely shocked you couldn't romance Samara. I loved watching her talk, her face transfixed me on several occasions. She was very well done. And she could easily have been a cross over romance for both the girls and guys. She was way more interesting than Liara. I guess Bioware figured, 'been there done that.'
 

MiracleOfSound

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Jan 3, 2009
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meganmeave said:
MiracleOfSound said:
meganmeave said:
EPIC SNIP
It's all about the sex with us humans. Just ask that Quarian in the bar on Illium.

My fem-Shep was pissed at that situation too, she wanted to lez out with the glamorous Samara but instead she gets to pick between Scales or Gills.
Oh come on, gills are hot as hell! Their all frilly and fringie, and when you kiss a gilled creature, they can still breath without stealing your air. An important feature, truly. I wonder if he was coldblooded too...

I was absolutely shocked you couldn't romance Samara. I loved watching her talk, her face transfixed me on several occasions. She was very well done. And she could easily have been a cross over romance for both the girls and guys. She was way more interesting than Liara. I guess Bioware figured, 'been there done that.'
She was a proper lady. Much hotter than Liara, Morith and Shiala.

Wierdly enough, her face transfixed me too. She looks like a 1950s movie star or something, there's a real elegance to her.
 

LiquidGrape

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MiracleOfSound said:
Wierdly enough, her face transfixed me too. She looks like a 1950s movie star or something, there's a real elegance to her.
Agree completely.
I think there's a vague resemblance to Ava Gardner, actually.
 

Mr.logic

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imahobbit4062 said:
Mr.logic said:
Julianking93 said:
Most JRPG romances fail miserably
all except 1, which would be tidus and yuna... thats the only good one, the worst one was dante and trish in devil may cry 1
That wasn't romance. Weren't they related..?
no they were not. She was created to look like someone dante knew then she stabs him shoots him asks him for help betrays him then they fall in love =D
 

MiracleOfSound

Fight like a Krogan
Jan 3, 2009
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LiquidGrape said:
MiracleOfSound said:
Wierdly enough, her face transfixed me too. She looks like a 1950s movie star or something, there's a real elegance to her.
Agree completely.
I think there's a vague resemblance to Ava Gardner, actually.
Ava Gardner makes me feel all funny... she's so beautiful.

We're missing out these days, our starlets just don't compare with women like her.
 

HellbirdIV

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MiracleOfSound said:
Shepard and Garrus.

I mean seriously... he has scales.
But he is SO DREAMY <3 Both in his voice and personality.

As for ones that simply do not work? I don't know...

... Mario and Peach.
 

Delock

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Chaos Legion, Chaos Legion, CHAOS LEGION !!!! *eyetwitch*

Only a sonic game has come close to this in my opinion in terms of writing and plot. Even another game I've hated Ninety-Nine Nights, didn't do as bad as this. I never played till the end of this piece of garbage, but it was obvious who the romanctic intrest was (her first cutscene is her cutting off her long hair for no reason and saying literally 1 line before the cutscene ends, and that had to be the second most understandable cutscene in the game and it still took me a few seconds after it ended to finally just realize it was pointless as the next section of the game wasn't impacted at all by it. (The only cutscene that made sense had a guy with a kick@$$ mask pretty much show himself off as the overpowered rival ala Vergil, since it was ripping off DMC as hard as it could in its opinion, and that cutscene dropped the ball by having him kill your most powerful monster BY LOOKING AT IT, a power which is never used again or even mentioned).
She and the main character might have worked things out if they had been in a different game, but sadly they shall forever remain both nameless and forgotten (though that may not be a bad thing for all gamers).


Oh, yes, and Fable 2. Allow me to tell you the story here: I had two wives once if only because I could. Someone then tries to blackmail me about my second wife. My solution: Kill the woman who I think I murdered her husband, kill the black mailer, and let my other wife get eaten by balverines. Why? Because I had honestly stopped caring since there was no romance in there other than Flex and Give Ring. The only person in that game who I even cared about was my dog, and that's only because I learned that without him the game was oddly empty.

I'd also like to point out Kratos' wife. This is more about the fact that I cannot see him as anything but a horrible sociopath than it not working (apparently though, since Kratos is such a being of destruction that if he ever loves enough to hug, the universe itself is lacking in so much negativity that whoever is the reciever of the hug gets healed. So maybe there's a reason why his family had to die).
 

Spiner909

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The laughing scene in FFX was just awful. But for the most part, it was an okay part of the game.
 

TheCrayonKeeper

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I reckon all game romances pathetic, they're just a selling point to gamers who struggle to get with a girl in reality. I play games to do something that chances are, Im not going to do in my lifetime; like blow up a refinary or kneecap a guy with a rivet gun. In comparison getting a girlfriend seems rather mundane...
 

Octorok

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tiredinnuendo said:
The romance between Drake and blonde chick whose name I couldn't be bothered to remember.

Though to be honest, the worst one in recent memory is Starkiller and pilot chick in Force Unleashed. It's like someone told George Lucas that he sucked at writing love stories, so he was like, "Aw, fuck it. I won't write any kind of romantic build up at all. Just have them kiss at the end."

- J
There was more to the Starkiller thing though.

This is someone who has spent his life since (pretty young) childhood being tortured, manipulated... crafted by pain into the being of ultimate destruction. He wasn't trained to be a Sith Lord as much as he was a tool for the use of Darth Vader.

Having gone through this process and arrived at being one of the most destructive forces in the history of Force users, George Lucas forces him to fall in love with the first pretty girl he sees. It makes so little sense that I think George Lucas deserves a punch in the gut for that alone, alongside the many others he's earned over the years.
 

Bourne Endeavor

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Mario/Peach or Link/Zelda. Seriously how frequently do those guys have to work overtime being "Mr. Hero"? No I could not resist.

Jesting aside I rather enjoy romances in video games, depending upon how it is implicated. I was thoroughly entertained through witnessing the struggles between Tidus and Yuna. I concede the infamous Laughing Scene was more humorous than touching however the metaphar was touching considering the immense weight on Yuna's shoulders. It certainly built her character and I have grown to appreciate the scene more far than I had originally.
 

MadMechanic

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If I'm honest I don't really know why games have them. I managed fine without them in older games. (Although they can be funny at times)

Fable II.
No matter how rude I am, how much I steal and murder, the towns people love me. I set fire to the inn - they still loved me. Hell, even the men loved my fat, scarred, make-up wearing freakish villian (male). And then my wife complains when you don't do anything - for gods sake - I'm evil!

Mass Effect 2 - I feel that they simply "bolted on" Kelly as a romance for (both) Sheps. That or she wasn't finished when the game was shipped.

Leliana in dragon age. I met her first with my female mage.
I was relativly polite in our meeting. A few camp sites later and suddenly "I wanna sleep with you", cutscene...that was...unexpected.
To avoid this happening with my male warrior, I set myself up with Morrigan. Yet somehow, Leliana thought I was in a relationship with her...
 

Lexodus

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Julianking93 said:
Most JRPG romances fail miserably
I disagree, but in no case more so than that of Marta and Emil from Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World. You think that it's going to be another one of those 'strangled by the red string' romances, but, by the end, I was definitely cheering them on. When you get past Marta's 'Oh yeah, he's totally going to marry me now' and Emil's 'WTF are you saying' moments when they're first together, You get some very sweet, very touching moments, especially when they're alone. I don't want to say anything in case I spoil the game, but the romance works. And holy crap, the ending almost had me in tears (luckily I got the super happy ending because my Emil was practically a god by then).
 

Meggiepants

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Jan 19, 2010
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LiquidGrape said:
MiracleOfSound said:
Wierdly enough, her face transfixed me too. She looks like a 1950s movie star or something, there's a real elegance to her.
Agree completely.
I think there's a vague resemblance to Ava Gardner, actually.
Lovely. I can see it. But my fem shep isn't good enough for her. Such a classy lady deserves something better than than what Bioware gave us to work with. Maybe that's why they couldn't bring themselves to have Samara as a romance option. She's too classy for the lines we have in our arsenal.