Genie in a bottle

[ZacQuickSilver]

One wish.

I'd think about how to phrase it so that I could live indefinitely (not forever, just as long as I wanted), had more than enough money for everyday life, and the secret to eternal satisfaction.

 

[qbert4ever]

Depends. Is the genie a normal genie that will understand the basic idea of what I want, or is it one of those asshole genies that will crush you in deer if you ask for "a million bucks"?

If it's the former, money. And lots of it. If it's the latter, I would just wish him back in his bottle forever.

 

[gremily]

I would turn all the gay peopl straight... What... It would be helping them.

 

[Ruzzian Roulette]

Immortality. And by immortality I mean the whole shebang (non-aging, immune to disease/poison, being killed etc). Anything else I could want would be eventually attainable as long as I have that.

This.

 

[Incompl te]

something that listens to my requests and does them no matter how strange they are. e.g. imploding the earth

 

[Varchld]

Seriously, something like major talent in all areas of life, i.e. Very good at educational stuff, very good at sports, very good at aesthetics, very good at street knowledge, and very good financially. Gotta think these things through.

That'd change who you are too much for me to want it.

Depends. Is the genie a normal genie that will understand the basic idea of what I want, or is it one of those asshole genies that will crush you in deer if you ask for "a million bucks"?

I'd make a great asshole genie, it would take a very carefully worded wish to not end up getting screwed.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

To control the universe, in whatever way I want with voice commands.

"Biggle boop: Make KFC extremely healthy, and coke able to be used as an instant medikit".


I've got years to make the world cooler.

 

[Erana]

The age-old question... I'd prolly go for a blessed figure of an Archon.

 

[jim_doki]

You people and your lack of genre savvy-ness. Genies dont grant wishes, they FUCK SHIT UP! I would use wish one to ensure that the genie understood everything I was saying and understood exactly what I meant so their wordgames dont work

wish two would involve becoming the luckiest man alive, in that i would be able to bet on anything and everything and win, hit on anyone i wanted, and generally be surrounded by good fortune

wish three would be to set the genie free. if you don't do that, bad things happen to you

 

[Radical Dreamer]

Total understanding of why a can of Mountain Dew tastes better than plastic bottles. Carbonation loss maybe?

That, or a watch with a re-do and fast forward button for my day.

 

[sequio]

I would want the power to control cauality.

 

[Xojins]

I would turn all the gay peopl straight... What... It would be helping them.

How would that in any way be helping them? I actually find that quite offensive.

 

[Brokkr]

Immortality. And by immortality I mean the whole shebang (non-aging, immune to disease/poison, being killed etc). Anything else I could want would be eventually attainable as long as I have that.

This.

I third this one. My second wish, if I had one, would be mind control.

 

[Cheesus333]

I'd wish for more wishes

Beat me to the witty one liner .

Seriously, something like major talent in all areas of life, i.e. Very good at educational stuff, very good at sports, very good at aesthetics, very good at street knowledge, and very good financially. Gotta think these things through.

HA, I knew I'd beat someone to it! Now I feel shame that I'm the dweeb who posted that

Dude, with a billion dollars, who needs anything else? You can pretty much buy anything you need!

Ypu can't buy happiness - or so naive and jealous poor people will tell you. You can always buy things to make you happy.

I could prepare you a concise list of things you can't buy with money:

1. Things that don't exist
2. Metaphors and concepts
3. Time (see above)
4. Death
5. Life
6. A bad film with Morgan Freeman in it (see number 1)
7. A reason for that undeniably slick line above
8. A reason for this list
9. A reason for me to keep going

 

[Baby Tea]

I'd wish for eternal life with the inability to get sick or injured (Or hurt)
Like, uber-immortality.

That way I'd have forever to make money and see all sort of crazy crap.

PLUS being, basically, indestructible, I'd be the ultimate soldier/agent/extreme sports dude. Who needs a parachute? WEEEEE!

 

[ElegantSwordsman]

"I'll make a wish that can't backfire! I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it!"

 

[mokes310]

I'd wish for more wishes

Beat me to the witty one liner .

Seriously, something like major talent in all areas of life, i.e. Very good at educational stuff, very good at sports, very good at aesthetics, very good at street knowledge, and very good financially. Gotta think these things through.

HA, I knew I'd beat someone to it! Now I feel shame that I'm the dweeb who posted that

Dude, with a billion dollars, who needs anything else? You can pretty much buy anything you need!

Ypu can't buy happiness - or so naive and jealous poor people will tell you. You can always buy things to make you happy.

I could prepare you a concise list of things you can't buy with money:

1. Things that don't exist
2. Metaphors and concepts
3. Time (see above)
4. Death
5. Life
6. A bad film with Morgan Freeman in it (see number 1)
7. A reason for that undeniably slick line above
8. A reason for this list
9. A reason for me to keep going

Fuckin spot on bro, spot on. "Hoisted by my own petard!"

To counter, I will make a horrible film with Morgan Freeman in it! The cast will go as follows: Morgan Freeman, Pauly Shore, Paula Poundstone, Val Kilmer, Owen and Luke Wilson, featuring Bai Ling. The film will be a turn of the century love story, with the many male protagonists pining for the love of Paula Poundstone, only to be kept at bay by the fierce martial arts practicing body gaurd known as Bai Ling! Tell me that wouldn't be an awful flic?

Now, before you say that Morgan Freeman wouldn't peform in this movie, I ask you this: Does not everyone have a price?

 

[xitel]

I would wish to be able to know the answer to any question I asked. Any question. And the answer would not be "you can't". For example, if I asked myself "How do I fly without an airplane?" I would know every answer to that question.

 

[Hunde Des Krieg]

The ability to access reality's dev console.

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