Girl gamers and their boy issues.

[Halvhir]

So yeah. I noticed there are bizarrely many topics about gamers(male) having problems with getting girls.

Just wanted to say it's not all that easy for girls either. (sadly)
I'm a gamer girl.. And yeah for me that hasn't worked out at all. Maybe it's just the lack of male gamers in my environment. But I wonder if more girls have been experiencing this problem.

For instance you're at a party talking to a nice guy... And realize you've ended up talking about Mass Effect. And the guy is like: Riiiiight... *backs off*
It's funny how non gaming guys are just as freaked out as girls... Oh well. Just curious after thoughts, and if more girls have experienced this problem.

It's certainly not just you, I hear this a fair amount from female friends I game with and it frustrates the heck out of me. We're sociable enough with each other, playing in clans and guilds and whatnot from all over the country and the world, why is it so much more difficult to find people like this locally? (Rhetorical, complicated question, etc.)

I'm sort of in the same boat, but for me it's more about the meeting people in general. I'm far more comfortable in text than I am in the flesh; my first and so far only serious relationship was with a girl I met in an MMO (not WoW, much smaller game). That actually ended up working great for a while; we broke up after a year or so because she was going to college two timezones away and we didn't enjoy the stress of distance. She's had some of the same problems you're talking about too, so I guess we're proof that there are good things out there in strange places, if you're up to looking.

 

[Dark Knifer]

Probably still due to that annoyingly (mostly) inacurate stereotype of gamers having no life, no social skills, no empathy etc (whatever FOX news says about gamers basically) still being around in the general mind of society, so it's hard for either gender to have a relationship due to that, at least partially due to that.

 

[Dark Knifer]

My girlfriend's not a gamer and thinks it's cute when I talk dorky to her. And this post still counts, as I am also a woman.

*Prepares for inbox bombardment*

My girlfriend does the same thing, though she likes video games just can't play them. She loves watching me play and talk about them though

Though I'm male so this post isn't really relevant but whatever

 

[ChromeAlchemist]

So yeah. I noticed there are bizarrely many topics about gamers(male) having problems with getting girls.

Just wanted to say it's not all that easy for girls either. (sadly)
I'm a gamer girl.. And yeah for me that hasn't worked out at all. Maybe it's just the lack of male gamers in my environment. But I wonder if more girls have been experiencing this problem.

For instance you're at a party talking to a nice guy... And realize you've ended up talking about Mass Effect. And the guy is like: Riiiiight... *backs off*
It's funny how non gaming guys are just as freaked out as girls... Oh well. Just curious after thoughts, and if more girls have experienced this problem.

Go to a public gaming session or convention if there are any in your area, that'd help a lot! Plenty of gamer guys there!

I think the main difference is that while girl gamers are looking for a guy gamer, but can't find one (I mean it's the luck of the draw if you're just looking for one at a party or somewhere like that), guy gamers (or rather, guys in general) are usually so rejection-phobic that they won't even bother approaching whatever girl they're interested in even if they know they are gamers, assuming they have a boyfriend or aren't interested.

But even if we ignore all of that, I think the belief is that many, if not most guys play games at least casually, while the number of girls doing that is far less, and few and far between. I don't think I've spoken to a guy my age who doesn't play games, while I most certainly have spoken to a few women my age who don't, which is quite annoying.

So I think that while girls can have it bad, guys have it worse, but sometimes they bring it upon themselves due to cowardice.

Also, it's crazy to think there are guys out there who don't play games in this day and age...

Anyway as a male I'll stop littering your thread.

 

[TheLoneBeet]

For instance you're at a party talking to a nice guy... And realize you've ended up talking about Mass Effect. And the guy is like: Riiiiight... *backs off*

Wow it's so weird to hear this happens from the other perspective. Sort of comforting though. Whenever I find myself talking about games I'm already too far into the conversation by the time I realize that everybody around me is confused or just ignoring me.. It happens faster if I'm talking to a girl.

Anybody who actually responds relevantly after that point in the conversation is a gem in my books.

EDIT: I just realized that apparently being male discredits this post entirely.. So yeh. Skip it I guess?

 

[ProtonGuy]

I stand on my own, with my DS at my side, and controllers slung across my chest. The road to happiness is paved with cartridges, and discs from all generations. If it's in the cards you'll find a companion, if not do what I do; let a warming console heat up your room on those chilly rainy nights, and let it keep the negative feelings at bay as the images it displays lulls you to sleep.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I've been gaming since I could hold a controller, and consider it an essential part of my life. And I've rarely had a problem attracting guys (I'm not gorgeous by any means, let's get that out of the way), especially guys who game. My current boyfriend is a hardcore gamer, and he loves it when we can share a game or talk about our achievements in TF2.

My problem is that there IS still stigma about being a female gamer. I used to laugh when girls would say that they wouldn't go on voice chat online for fear of hearing "tits or gtfo'... then I had it happen. (And I apparently sound like an 8 year old boy on voice). There shouldn't be gender separation. Girls can game, so can guys. We should be a happy community. Am I right?

I cannot stand the other guys who play online and always harrass girls like that. But, what annoys me equally are those types who say, "I'm a girl. I'm playing Halo. That makes me special."

I always respond with something along the lines of, "That's great, miss. But, in case you haven't noticed, we're in the middle of a team deathmatch here. Can we get back to it, please?"

I appreciate that you respond like that, lol! And I laugh when my (female) roommate and I play TF2 and a girl like that comes into the game and chats.

Girl: "im a girl and i play games that makes me special"
My roommate: "There are no girls on the internet, you're a liar"

 

[DracoSuave]

So yeah. I noticed there are bizarrely many topics about gamers(male) having problems with getting girls.

Just wanted to say it's not all that easy for girls either. (sadly)
I'm a gamer girl.. And yeah for me that hasn't worked out at all. Maybe it's just the lack of male gamers in my environment. But I wonder if more girls have been experiencing this problem.

For instance you're at a party talking to a nice guy... And realize you've ended up talking about Mass Effect. And the guy is like: Riiiiight... *backs off*
It's funny how non gaming guys are just as freaked out as girls... Oh well. Just curious after thoughts, and if more girls have experienced this problem.

Yeah you just need to meet some better (read: more in common with you) dudes. We're out there, obviously.

 

[Gerard Hughes]

hey i love mass effect
so if ANYONE talks about it im in love

 

[The Man With the Soap]

I've been gaming since I could hold a controller, and consider it an essential part of my life. And I've rarely had a problem attracting guys (I'm not gorgeous by any means, let's get that out of the way), especially guys who game. My current boyfriend is a hardcore gamer, and he loves it when we can share a game or talk about our achievements in TF2.

My problem is that there IS still stigma about being a female gamer. I used to laugh when girls would say that they wouldn't go on voice chat online for fear of hearing "tits or gtfo'... then I had it happen. (And I apparently sound like an 8 year old boy on voice). There shouldn't be gender separation. Girls can game, so can guys. We should be a happy community. Am I right?

I cannot stand the other guys who play online and always harrass girls like that. But, what annoys me equally are those types who say, "I'm a girl. I'm playing Halo. That makes me special."

I always respond with something along the lines of, "That's great, miss. But, in case you haven't noticed, we're in the middle of a team deathmatch here. Can we get back to it, please?"

I appreciate that you respond like that, lol! And I laugh when my (female) roommate and I play TF2 and a girl like that comes into the game and chats.

Girl: "im a girl and i play games that makes me special"
My roommate: "There are no girls on the internet, you're a liar"

I know, right?

"I'm a girl playing boy games."

"You sure ain't doing any playing, but you are doing a lot of standing around with your thumb up your ass."

 

[Dumplebush]

Its been weird for me. I have always been on the football team, so the standard good looking girl has never really been that much of a problem, but the only times i really have been rejected by someone whom i thought was in my league has always been by geek girls. Even though I actually think they are more attractive and I have more in common with them then i do with the standard good looking girl. so i usually just have to settle for the more conventionally pretty one which kinda sucks because she doesn't give a rats ass about playing portal 2 coop with me.

 

[RicoGrey]

I was about to say that you are just picky and a drama queen, I mean there are tons of gamer guys, how could she possibly have trouble finding at least one.

Then I came to a realization. I don't have a single gaming friend. Well, aside from people on the internet, you know the ones I play multiplayer games with. So, wow, gaming is my main hobby, its fair to say it is a large part of my life, and yet I don't have a single damn gamer friend. I suddenly feel so lonely.

I guess games are not quite as popular as we gamers believe. I suppose you and I just need to become more rounded. I feel like we simply need to try new things. Find more hobbies, and maybe then we can meet new people.

Its not like we have to dedicate to new hobbies, or give up games, just find other interests, so we can connect with people.

Good luck to you, I think I am going to start by doing something completely out of my personality, I am gonna go see a play. I don't know what play, I don't know where, but imma find one.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Even though I've been playing games since I've been about to hold a controller it still boggles my mind that that damn 'gamer girl' stigma is still around. Whatever.

Honestly, outside of the whole 'gamer girl' deal I've never had much of a problem with talking with guys about games. What problem I do have is that outside of me working all the time, I don't go out much, ever. If I do, it's mostly because I get dragged by my friends that don't understand what personal time means, or that having a social anxiety is not an excuse for wanting to be left alone.

If, however, that does come up, I don't take much offense to it since I don't really care what they think, and I have met some cool guys that love to talk about games with me. Although, I do get annoyed when I'm playing online and some other chick mentions that they are a gamer girl, I tend to tell them to shut up or keep talking so I can find out where they are so I can kill them for more XP.

I'm kinda horrible.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

It's just a matter of being at the right place. I went to Supanova a couple days ago and the concentration of gamers there was immense.

 

[Simeon Ivanov]

Hey, if a girl started talking about Mass Effect, I'd be in love with her

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

...and would tell you to refrain from online dating, it never works!

I met my husband on a message board for Command & Conquer, of all places, back in 2002. We played City of Heroes together, then moved on to World of WarCraft. He proposed to me in 2007. We're still together and going strong.

So, to the OP, disregard the text I quoted up top.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

As a guy! I'll make no qualms about being a gamer or attempt to hide my love of gaming or my excitement for current/future releases. The thing about it is though is that sure you've gotta test the waters and see if the person of the opposite sex(or your own sex if you roll that way) that your talking to is interested in games or is already a gamer. And if so fantastic...but if not you neeed to be able to (or atleast try to) branch out to other topics! And it sounds easy enough in practice but I've not been able to apply it with any luck so far either....don't let that discourage you though...keep at it!

 

[Infernai]

Wait wait wait wait wait WAIT!....You know about mass effect? Awesome! I mean, i know gamer girls exist it's just considering where i live (australia) it's just not all that common to find many girls who are into games like i am. Which, is the chief reason why i have never been able to get a date, as well as the fact I'm shy as all hell....

Just realized i went off on a bit of a tangent there, sorry. But, yeah, i guess what i'm saying is that it's nice to know I'm not the only one in this boat. Although, i do have to say if you like either Devil May Cry or Metal Gear Solid as well as mass effect, then i officially love you.

 

[DeathWyrmNexus]

If you'd like a hug i'm down lol.

I would think it wouldn't be hard for girls, no matter what, to get guys...well sorta. It's all about the guy and how big of a douche he is.

Well of course in theory it's not hard to get a guy. But that also goes for all you guys, not hard to get a girl. If you drop standards. No one does. So lets just say: It's hard to get a guy within personal standards.

True. But my standards are "i want to be happy"....

Don't we all have that standard?

Actually no, a lot of people have the standard of what they believe society expects of them. The whole conditioned to please our parents thing where society becomes our parent. Stupid explanation cut short, no. A lot of people think that happiness is another person when happiness is happiness.

So I suppose I need to be more fair and say you're right but you're wrong. If that makes any sense.