Girl Problems? Read Advice

[old_school]

Wow so many "I have girl problem" posts. I'm an older guy so Ill "shoot" this to the young guys head on.

Rules
Don't Screw your friends. You don't mess with a girl whom you have been freinds with forever. screws things up badly. An you screw your self in the end.

If you suffer from the "I'm a dork" symdrome. Wonderful. New invention called hair gel. Buy some. An buy the more expensive D.O. for your B.O. Basicly clean your self up. Any one can date any women any day. Their is no leages. If you want a girl to like you. Stop right there. No trick to tricking women into "liking" you.

All women have desires etc. Make your self appear desirable duh. Most women enjoy conversations that are humorus and intel. Be your self as well, no one like a fake dork. That just deems you as a lier and a dork. An no one wants to date a lier. Dork is passable if your "cool". In the sense your easy going and fun to be around. An do not discuss sex, penus sizes etc. Every girl hears this crap everyday. Guess what your peter ant happening. Discuss something interesting. Not sexual unless its a joke or funny. Even then your walking a thin line.

"Im shy!"Really? Get over it!

"I'm fat". Who cares. Put down the fork and make your self desireable.

"She said no". Great, now date her best friend.

Conculsion:
Most of you are in deed kids. Little story about my self. I was a true dork in school. Guess what, I grew up. High school lasts four years. The shame you recived from school ends on graduation night. No one cares after that day. So get over it. When I went to my 10 year reunion, I was probly the most talked to guy. Why? Because I grew up. I enlisted in the military, went to college and recived three degrees n various fields. Plus I was no longer nerdy, I lead a very interesting life. The "High School Cool Guy", lead the life of welfare. An about 50 lbs later, he entered the room.

You guys want to lead happy lives? Go to college, enlist in the military, learn a skill trade, marry for true love etc. List goes on forever. Think with your brain, not your other head. Use common sense and set small realistic goals for your self. Be realistic when making choices. My life long goal is to be a pilot. Guess what, it's a realistic goal. I set my life up for success, so someday I can afford private lessions for learning how to fly.

All of you have the power today to determine your own future and sucess. You have dreams? Set your self up for sucess. Your looking at a guy who had failure written all over his self in high school. Knocked up my high school sweet heart at 17. I did not have super good grades and I came from a broken home.

An yet I made something of my self. An you can to. Honestly I fill I owe my sucess to the lessons learned becoming a United States Marine. However, you may find a different path. Everyone is different. Set your goals and follow through. Their are allways challenges placed ahead of you before you reach the goal. Face the problem dead on and move past it. Life is not easy. But it can be completed honorably.

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

For some reason this seems more like a "Inspirational Talk" then advice... very narrow Inspiration for that matter :S


Some problems cannot be simply solved by a click of a finger into saying "Shy? get over it". Mental Depression effects 1/5 males, more men suffer it then women. I might only be a tender 20 but I can assure you from what I've witnessed in my life, most of it cannot be simply "got over".

I can tell you're helping, but nothing's worse then providing false hope or false assistance for problems. :|

 

[default]

Well THANKS.

You might wanna ease up on the tough-guy-asshole act, mate.

Half your """"advice"""" wasn't even applicable to most people. Have a think about the tone of your piece before you write it next time, and don't make yourself sound like an arrogant douche, because I'm sure you aren't

Have a good one.

Okay, I suppose you were trying to pull the 'No bullshit, be a man and tidy yourself up' act, but really, you should have gone about it another way.

That line about how hair gel is a 'miracle cure' for dorkiness? Cringeworthy.

Maybe its just the fact I loath hair gel... But the point still stands.

 

[shticks]

He has a point! Everyone should listen. If i took one thing away from his generous offer of advice (and just like all advice you can CHOOSE to accept it) it was that you should stop making excuses and live your life to the fullest extent THAT YOU CAN, and not to let yourself hold you back.

He was trying to say .... don't sit back and over analyze things go and DO SOMETHING.

Yet the first two responses out of the gate were petty "feel sorry for me" remarks

For some reason this seems more like a "Inspirational Talk" then advice... very narrow Inspiration for that matter :S


Some problems cannot be simply solved by a click of a finger into saying "Shy? get over it". Mental Depression effects 1/5 males, more men suffer it then women. I might only be a tender 20 but I can assure you from what I've witnessed in my life, most of it cannot be simply "got over".

I can tell you're helping, but nothing's worse then providing false hope or false assistance for problems. :|

You're 20 think back even 3 years and how your viewpoint has changed. Expect it to change further. Nothing is concrete in this world.

 

[Treeinthewoods]

He does have a good point kids, especially all you highschool aged super nerds out there. Highschool is four years, focus on yourself instead of on everyone elses opinions and you will be all right no matter where your desires take you.

For some reason this seems more like a "Inspirational Talk" then advice... very narrow Inspiration for that matter :S


Some problems cannot be simply solved by a click of a finger into saying "Shy? get over it". Mental Depression effects 1/5 males, more men suffer it then women. I might only be a tender 20 but I can assure you from what I've witnessed in my life, most of it cannot be simply "got over".

I can tell you're helping, but nothing's worse then providing false hope or false assistance for problems. :|

While depression and social anxiety disorder can be difficult, they can be defeated by the average person. It may take medication, it may take therapy and it will take time. Still, if you break it down from the complicated process it really is just a case of getting over it. "Getting over it" doesn't mean you have to do it instantly, it means you have to do it no matter how long it takes.

 

[ultrachicken]

You should lay off the tough guy act. It takes away from your credibility.

 

[zombiesinc]

As much as the offer is appreciated, this "who cares about you and your issues" attitude isn't. Keep that in mind next time you choose to post within the Advice Forum.

Valid points or no, let's try to avoid discouraging users from posting their issues/situations that require advice, because... well, that's what this forum is here for. Yes, some, if not many, of the issues are things that revolve around girls or high school, but that doesn't mean they can all be resolved with a "get over it" attitude.

While depression and social anxiety disorder can be difficult, they can be defeated by the average person. It may take medication, it may take therapy and it will take time. Still, if you break it down from the complicated process it really is just a case of getting over it. "Getting over it" doesn't mean you have to do it instantly, it means you have to do it no matter how long it takes.

While I absolutely agree that these ailments can be dealt with by most anyone, given the right tools, and support, I think the main issue is the wording that's been chosen to express this opinion by the OP. Simply saying "Get over it" is a term usually pertaining to a negative and uncaring attitude, so I'm sure you can understand the dislike towards the chosen words.

When the only form of communication between people is based solely on text, the way someone chooses to express themselves and how that comes off is, by far, the most important thing to keep in mind.

 

[Something Amyss]

For some reason this seems more like a "Inspirational Talk" then advice... very narrow Inspiration for that matter :S

I was thinking more "trolling," but to each their own. "Straight talk" like this is generally a specious load of crap, either intentionally being dickish or coming off as such while "trying to help." I guess regardless, it looks like trolling to me.

"Get over it" is almost never a valid statement.

 

[Secret world leader (shhh)]

TL;DR: make yourself look JOIN THE ARMY nice and no talking about sex 'cause YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU and don't be inconfident or afraid or you'll LET THE TERRORISTS WIN!.

P.S America, fuck yeah.

I like your "covert" enlistment you've attempted here.

 

[Angryman101]

College and military is iffy. I like the cut of your jib, but finding exactly what's right for you and thinking for yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself, and neither of those really promote it. College is overrated and unneeded in many situations and I...honestly can't say I agree with your views on the military, but if that's what works for you then that's what works for you.
But the overall message is fairly accurate. Grabbing what YOU want out of life is the key to a satisfying life. Do what you're passionate about and know how to capitalize upon these passions and your strengths and you will be set for life.

snip

It CAN be gotten over, with time. I used to be incredibly shy, unhappy, and had MASSIVE insecurity issues. But I decided that I would improve myself, started an exercise program for myself, lost around 30 pounds, gained a shit load of confident, found my passions, set a direction for myself, and found my voice. When I realized I had so much to offer and give, it changed my life. I still have lingering issues with self-worth and esteem, but the episodes last mere hours instead of days or weeks because of the worth I found within myself when I struck out to get exactly what I wanted. I might just be an extraneous case or my issues weren't as severe as others', but participating in activities that helped me find value in myself treated so many of my issues, I can't help but think that people should at least try doing what the OP/I suggest/s. Maybe instead of giving up and labeling themselves as having depression/asperger's/autism WITHOUT being clinically diagnosed with it, they should strike out and blaze a trail for themselves. It's hard, I am aware, but it can really help you.

TL;DR: make yourself look JOIN THE ARMY nice and no talking about sex 'cause YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU and don't be inconfident or afraid or you'll LET THE TERRORISTS WIN!.

P.S America, fuck yeah.

I like your "covert" enlistment you've attempted here.

It's not an advertisement for the military. Sometimes, enlisting is the best choice a person could ever make for themselves. It teaches them valuable skills that they can apply in the real world and be more successful than if they had stayed their course outside the military.

snip

I believe the OP was going for a gun-ho approach to motivate those who have diagnosed themselves with psychological maladies so they don't have to deal with the pain that they have associated with social interaction to break out of their shell and take responsibility/control of their own lives.
That's how I interpreted it, anyway.

 

[bluepilot]

I think that everyone learns how to find their feet in the end. However, since everyone's journey will be different I think that it is very difficult to provide general advice which everyone can relate to.

I am sure that some people may have found some parts of your advice helpful. Though personally I consider humility and understanding to be essential traits in anyone I choose to be with.

 

[FightThePower]

Well THANKS.

You might wanna ease up on the tough-guy-asshole act, mate.

Half your """"advice"""" wasn't even applicable to most people. Have a think about the tone of your piece before you write it next time, and don't make yourself sound like an arrogant douche, because I'm sure you aren't

Have a good one.

Okay, I suppose you were trying to pull the 'No bullshit, be a man and tidy yourself up' act, but really, you should have gone about it another way.

That line about how hair gel is a 'miracle cure' for dorkiness? Cringeworthy.

Maybe its just the fact I loath hair gel... But the point still stands.

This pretty much sums up what I think on this.

Expecting someone to change something they're having difficulties with by just going 'man up' is utterly useless. It's not like you're doing a difficult Maths problem, someone comes along and tells you 'come on you loser, it's really not that hard' and suddenly the answer just occurs to you.

 

[Strain42]

Learn to spell and type before you go around acting like people should listen to your advice. People don't wanna take advice from someone who types like a Twitter addicted high school freshman who's failing English.

 

[Gardenia]

More alpha male stuff. Awesome.
Although you had one good point, that I will repeat for effect:
Be yourself.

 

[Wardnath]

Question: OP, are you compensating for something?

 

[Danzaivar]

If you didn't say you had 3 degrees then this could have passed as being genuine. Better luck next time though!

 

[Palademon]

A noob who can't even spell proclaiming to be an old guy who knows his shit.

Here's what to know: There are no rules to getting anyone. All you can be is yourself, and hope.

 

[Rakkana]

So many things wrong with that... must not feed possible troll... I'm happy anyway thank you.

 

[AceAngel]

7.5 billion people, one disease with 2 causes (deficiency and toxicity) and 6 pathways, different cultures per country, per city per nation.

Oh yeah TC, getting a girl now-a-days is sooo easy.