Girlfriend advice; I cheated

[Lono Shrugged]

I think you should tell her and lets the chips fall where they may. If your worried about hurting her, well it's too late for that. Personally if it was me I could not live with a lie like that. knowing every day that you fucked over your girlfriend and didn't have the balls to own up. That or forget about the whole thing and hope it never catches up with you.

I'd rather be an honest Bastard than a lying one.

 

[Some bullets]

No and Yes.. Hormones were raging and I lost control not because I was nervous

 

[seryoga]

be honest dood, if she really loves u she will understand

 

[SonicKoala]

I don't know this girl, but I'm assuming she's nice since you've been with her for a year. That being said, you're kinda sorta a total fucking asshole for cheating on her. My advice? Tell her. If she forgives you, you're lucky. If she doesn't and breaks up with you, sorry but you deserve it.

 

[Halfbreed13]

Wait, a second, there is a solution to this problem...
Don't cheat!
Oh yeah, you already did, I GUESS YOU ARE FUCKED THEN HUH BUDDY!?!?!?!????//

OT: Tell her, if she is dumb enough to stay with you, then consider yourself lucky.

 

[Hollock]

It was a little under half the time you were dating, she's suspicous, honesty is the best policy, and you'll get this off youre chest. If you just tell her it will be best

 

[cocoadog]

she knows to much, end her.

 

[Some bullets]

I don't know this girl, but I'm assuming she's nice since you've been with her for a year. That being said, you're kinda sorta a total fucking asshole for cheating on her. My advice? Tell her. If she forgives you, you're lucky. If she doesn't and breaks up with you, sorry but you deserve it.

Yea I know I am an asshole and screwed up ,but she has had this happen before in past relationships more then 2 that I know of. So I don't want to tell her because it would hurt her more deeper then it would others. She is a good person I don't want her questioning herself. So does that justify me not telling her or is that a cop-out?

 

[Firia]

Should I tell her and hurt her or should I be quiet and let it fade out?

Ignoring a problem won't make it go away. She clearly is haunted by a fear that perhaps she isn't good enough to be loyal to. She may have trust issues. Now, something may be happening right now that you should be focusing on to bring out these problems. Maybe you're being aloof, or not spending any time with her. Have you told her how much you care for her lately (genuine feelings, not just some line)?

Having said all that, I won't tell you to tell her that you cheated in the beginning. It's awful that you did, but I won't tell you what you should do. Coming clean has a side of merit and honor. However it carries consequences.

Good luck.

 

[azurawolf]

Well, as a female I would want my boyfriend to tell me.
Sure it will hurt. She will probably yell at you and get really angry. However, the longer you wait to tell her, the more pain it will bring.
If you plan on being with her for a while, it needs to come out someday. If she leaves you for it, you probably deserve it.
I'm sorry but I have no mercy for someone who cheats on their boyfriend/girlfriend. I have a feeling my ex cheated on me and it hurts like hell.

So my advice is tell her and don't ever cheat on anyone again. Take this as a learning experience. A relationship is based on honesty and if you can't be honest, you shouldn't be in a relationship.

 

[Florion]

First ask yourself what part of yourself allowed you to cheat on her in the first place. Now ask yourself why you would never do that again - honestly, because if you suspect you could cheat again, you may want to think about getting counseling to overcome that so you don't hurt her. Also, "I won't do it again because it's wrong" probably isn't a good answer for yourself because you must have thought it was wrong back then and you still did it, right?

Ready to not cheat again? Now tell her, because if your relationship is going to survive, you need that level of trust. Explain to her that you really love her, the reason(s) why you did it then, and the reasons why you won't do it again. If she forgives you, you're a damn lucky guy and you better be nice to her. If she dumps you because of this, don't be too aggressive trying to get her back. Either let her go, or if you really, really love her, send the occasional message every couple weeks or so. Give her time to think on her own.

P.S. Stress that it wasn't her fault, since she's had boyfriends who did that before. Poor girl. D:

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

It was the fir

how early in the relationship did you do it?

It was the fourth month we have been dating

ok, so, you cheated on her 8 months ago... 4 months after you started dating.

Ok, well, 4 months is definitely in the range of time where it is "cheating" and not just looking for other people too in the early dating stage.

8 months isn't a very long time, but it's too long after the fact to get an "awww, your so honest" badge.

Emotionally, I think telling the truth is always best and all that so that's how I handle things. Looking at your situation from a purely logically standpoint, though, it wouldn't make much sense to tell her.

So, ask yourself, would you rather approach your relationship with cold heartless logic, or with compassion and emotion.

 

[Goldeneye1989]

You mean you didnt tell her when you did cheat? Tsk tsk. I always say honest is the best policy.

Yea I know I am idoit but I just don't want to hurt her so is it right not to tell her?

Well basically your relationship is now based on a lie. Whether or not it hurts her now it is now more likely to fail because of all that insecurity and regret that came with what you did in the past. The only way to make it better, even though it may cost you the relationship, is to tell her the truth. Its lose lost in the long run if you dont tell her now. So take it as a learning experience.

Woah woah, hang on thats like saying that Australia is based on prisioners and is doomed to fail for that reason. just because it may have started like something reguardless, it wont always turn out shit.

 

[Eldarion]

You mean you didnt tell her when you did cheat? Tsk tsk. I always say honest is the best policy.

Yea I know I am idoit but I just don't want to hurt her so is it right not to tell her?

You are an idiot, punish yourself with the guilt but it may not be prudent to punish her with the knowledge that you did cheat on her once.

She will be hurt and will hate you. Best thing to do is to just never cheat on here EVER again I think.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

She'll understand, yall have been dating for a year. Make her feel special that she's dating you, give her a fancy title such as your "sandwich engineer."

stereotype high fivez!

 

[icyfresh]

yes people like cookiez

 

[0p3rati0n]

Call Mr. T

OT- TELL HER!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!! :O

 

[Florion]

Yea I know I am an asshole and screwed up ,but she has had this happen before in past relationships more then 2 that I know of. So I don't want to tell her because it would hurt her more deeper then it would others. She is a good person I don't want her questioning herself. So does that justify me not telling her or is that a cop-out?

You keep mentioning that the reason you don't want to tell her is because you're afraid of hurting her. The real question is, what is keeping you from cheating again? Why did you do it the first time? You'll have a much easier time telling her if you can answer why you did it and why you won't do it again.