Give the user above you a humorous execution
- Thread starter Redlin5_v1legacy
- Start date
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- Mar 17, 2012
- 5,950
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- United States
You wake up and find yourself tied to a chair. After your initial confusion, you take a quick survey of your surroundings. The chair has been placed in an empty pool in an empty warehouse.
"HELLOOOOO!" you cry, desperate for someone to hear you.
"WHERE AM I?"
Sadly, your cries echo into nothingness against the steel walls of the warehouse. Starting to panic, you begin rocking back and forth in the chair, hoping to tip it over and perhaps break the legs as you've seen in so many things. In the midst of your thrashing, you fail to notice approaching footsteps. It is only when you tire and take another look around that you notice the arrival of a single person, standing on the rim of the pool.
"Oh thank god. Please sir, help me! Some nutjob tossed me in here!"
With a tiny smile, the man walks off again. Before you have time to turn your dashed hopes into anger, you overhear a squeaking noise as it gets closer and closer to the pool. Concentrating on the rim, you see a large tube come into your vision, followed by a strange machine, with a great many blinking lights, spinning wheels, various other scientific looking objects welded on seemingly at random.
"...What is that thing?" You somehow manage to get this out over your mix of amusement and fear.
Breaking his silence, the man finally speaks.
"This...is a temporal tube to the past. But a very specialized tube. You see, this machine looks into the past. My past. My literary past, to be specific. This machine...brings my words from the past, into the present. In physical form. I thought it would be interesting to see if I could actually drown someone with them. You just happened to be the lucky test subject."
After a few silent moments, you cannot help but burst into hysterical laughter.
"What the hell?! That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Oh c'mon, just untie me and let me go. Please, just stop wasting both of our time," you manage to sputter out after calming yourself.
"Seriously, bringing your words into the present? Dumbass, haven't you heard of a printer? You could've tried this already with a goddamn laserjet at your house! Fuck, even if you're making solid versions of words, why from your past? Why not just random ones? You're not exactly the best or brightest, are you?"
With a wry smile, the man shakes his head and goes behind the machine. A series of beeps are heard, followed by a flywheel spinning up. Over the growing din, you can hear the man laughing maniacally before a CLUNK sounds and everything stops.
"Wait. Shit. Wrong button. Hold on a moment, would you?"
After a short bit of clanging and swearing, the machine starts up again, and this time, the uncoordinated noises turn into a concerted whine.
"YES! YEEES! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"
With this triumphant cry, words start flying out of the tube into the pool.
BETROTHAL, PERHAPS, and ELEPHANTINE all slip out of the machine and into the shallow end, each landing with a solid thud.
Staring in disbelief, all that manages to escape your lips is a weak "...wat."
More words exit the machine, filling the space between you and the growing mountain of verbiage.
berethond, ShockValue, and Maxthereaper all land on your legs, each of them nearly breaking your shins. A gleam of recognition lights up your eyes.
"Escapists? The fuck?!"
Marter, NeoAC, and Irridium all come out next, onto your thighs.
Finally, one last name comes out, flying faster than the rest.
Neonbob jets out of the tube, and crashes into the pool directly between your legs.
"Sorry, couldn't help being a little egotistical there," comes a jolly yell from behind the machine.
"Anyway, I figured you'd enjoy this little experiment the most of anybody else. Y'know. Getting to feel the weight of all the words I used to write on that site? It's a bit nostalgic!"
At first it's disbelief that fuels your laughter. That gradually changes into hysteria as the words keep coming out of the tube, landing on every part of your body. As they cover you, the weight of all the words increases. Starting at an uncomfortable weight, it gradually becomes oppressive, before swiftly passing into suffocating, and finally crushing.
With the pool almost entirely filled, one last word is shot out before the machine cuts off, and the only noise that can be heard is the light gurgling coming from your crushed chest as it is squeezed into pulp. Landing with a soft metallic tink, that last word comes to rest on the top of the pile.
FIN.
"HELLOOOOO!" you cry, desperate for someone to hear you.
"WHERE AM I?"
Sadly, your cries echo into nothingness against the steel walls of the warehouse. Starting to panic, you begin rocking back and forth in the chair, hoping to tip it over and perhaps break the legs as you've seen in so many things. In the midst of your thrashing, you fail to notice approaching footsteps. It is only when you tire and take another look around that you notice the arrival of a single person, standing on the rim of the pool.
"Oh thank god. Please sir, help me! Some nutjob tossed me in here!"
With a tiny smile, the man walks off again. Before you have time to turn your dashed hopes into anger, you overhear a squeaking noise as it gets closer and closer to the pool. Concentrating on the rim, you see a large tube come into your vision, followed by a strange machine, with a great many blinking lights, spinning wheels, various other scientific looking objects welded on seemingly at random.
"...What is that thing?" You somehow manage to get this out over your mix of amusement and fear.
Breaking his silence, the man finally speaks.
"This...is a temporal tube to the past. But a very specialized tube. You see, this machine looks into the past. My past. My literary past, to be specific. This machine...brings my words from the past, into the present. In physical form. I thought it would be interesting to see if I could actually drown someone with them. You just happened to be the lucky test subject."
After a few silent moments, you cannot help but burst into hysterical laughter.
"What the hell?! That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Oh c'mon, just untie me and let me go. Please, just stop wasting both of our time," you manage to sputter out after calming yourself.
"Seriously, bringing your words into the present? Dumbass, haven't you heard of a printer? You could've tried this already with a goddamn laserjet at your house! Fuck, even if you're making solid versions of words, why from your past? Why not just random ones? You're not exactly the best or brightest, are you?"
With a wry smile, the man shakes his head and goes behind the machine. A series of beeps are heard, followed by a flywheel spinning up. Over the growing din, you can hear the man laughing maniacally before a CLUNK sounds and everything stops.
"Wait. Shit. Wrong button. Hold on a moment, would you?"
After a short bit of clanging and swearing, the machine starts up again, and this time, the uncoordinated noises turn into a concerted whine.
"YES! YEEES! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"
With this triumphant cry, words start flying out of the tube into the pool.
BETROTHAL, PERHAPS, and ELEPHANTINE all slip out of the machine and into the shallow end, each landing with a solid thud.
Staring in disbelief, all that manages to escape your lips is a weak "...wat."
More words exit the machine, filling the space between you and the growing mountain of verbiage.
berethond, ShockValue, and Maxthereaper all land on your legs, each of them nearly breaking your shins. A gleam of recognition lights up your eyes.
"Escapists? The fuck?!"
Marter, NeoAC, and Irridium all come out next, onto your thighs.
Finally, one last name comes out, flying faster than the rest.
Neonbob jets out of the tube, and crashes into the pool directly between your legs.
"Sorry, couldn't help being a little egotistical there," comes a jolly yell from behind the machine.
"Anyway, I figured you'd enjoy this little experiment the most of anybody else. Y'know. Getting to feel the weight of all the words I used to write on that site? It's a bit nostalgic!"
At first it's disbelief that fuels your laughter. That gradually changes into hysteria as the words keep coming out of the tube, landing on every part of your body. As they cover you, the weight of all the words increases. Starting at an uncomfortable weight, it gradually becomes oppressive, before swiftly passing into suffocating, and finally crushing.
With the pool almost entirely filled, one last word is shot out before the machine cuts off, and the only noise that can be heard is the light gurgling coming from your crushed chest as it is squeezed into pulp. Landing with a soft metallic tink, that last word comes to rest on the top of the pile.
FIN.