"God, I'm such a ****ing idiot."

[delet]

I've done that before... 'twas awesome. I tripped, slid on my knee for several feet, then popped right back up. It was almost out of a sitcom...

As for something stupid I've done now... Hahah, I'm procrastinating on a project due tomorrow. A 4 page paper on 'The American Dream'.

Hey, here's a thought. Since when did 'English' mean 'American'?

For full marks, quote Watchmen.

I dare you.

DO IT!

I'm sorry, but I already BSed the entirety of the paper so I could fill that 4-page minimum.

I've done that before... 'twas awesome. I tripped, slid on my knee for several feet, then popped right back up. It was almost out of a sitcom...

As for something stupid I've done now... Hahah, I'm procrastinating on a project due tomorrow. A 4 page paper on 'The American Dream'.

Hey, here's a thought. Since when did 'English' mean 'American'?

(I'm assuming you're American)
Well English is the language of America. English class in school is about the language English, not England. Wouldn't it be stranger if your paper was about "the English dream"?



OT: Lost a carton of orange juice while I was drinking it. I found it two days later, in the bathroom closet.

Sorry, but you're a tad wrong. Technically, America has no official language.

As for what English is about, I've learned throughout the years that 'English class' is about Grammar, Vocab, Sentence structure, etc. Occasionally we even read books that may or may not suck horribly (They're much more likely to suck due to my personal taste on what makes a good book good.)

It simply pisses me off that the entirety of the school year has consisted of my 'English' teacher raving about the American Dream and why it's so great, or what it means, or what we think it means, or what some other people think it means, or what is used to be, or what it is now, or how to achieve it, etc. etc. etc.

Blah.

 

[Catchy Slogan]

I choke on food. I choke on drinks. I choke on my own saliva. I choke on air

 

[JokerCrowe]

I once tripped and missed. I managed to land a bit later though, for those that are concerned.

The trick is to not get distracted when you trip...

OT: I think I'll be a bit unoriginal but truthful and say most of the above... And if I haven't done it I probably will. (I'm about as smart as a bag of hammers)

 

[Funkysandwich]

I had a quickie with my ex in her car.

...

what's a quickie? is it a sticky american drink and you spilled it?

A "quickie" can also be referred to as a tryst. Although in truth, it was barely even that much, but enough for me to feel rather guilty over.

That's not stupid! It's admirable.

 

[ScarletRider]

That's not stupid! It's admirable.

You do not know my ex... O_O

 

[Chechosaurus]

Went out and had a few drinks, got back to the flat and put some burgers on the grill (already pretty stupid right?) sat down at the table and started chatting to my flat mates for waaaaaaaaay too long and then bam! Grill was on fire, I was drunk, fire extinguisher seemed like a good idea -it wasn't- but luckily, some one stopped me from using it and we managed to battle the fire blanket out from its holder and save the day. But still... I set the kitchen on fire in a building with 60 people and my entire life in... Whilst drunk.

 

[Tonimata]

"WHY AM I GRATING THE ORANGES INSTEAD OF THE TOMATOES?!" Me making my breakfast.

 

[Ranorak]

I dropped a sword once, and in a reflex tried to catch it.
Bad idea.

 

[Beldaros]

Poured orange juice into my cereal as the milk and orange juice cartons were so similar. Man that was... sour.

Oh wait, I leant back onto an open window, fell on my ass outside and everyone wondered where I went. It was on the ground floor, otherwise it could have been much worse. Stupid proficient window cleaners.

I've also fallen off a treadmill... Someone started talking to me and I thought it would be polite to stop running. Next thing I knew I was upside down.

 

[Zildjin81]

snip.

I didn't say "the official language" I said the language spoken in America, which is dominently English.

Huh, I wouldn't have snapped at you like that had you elaborated in your OP. English class certainly isn't the place to be learning about American culture!

 

[Zersy]

fell up the stairs... /thread

This is the winner.

 

[Call4Duty]

I was on a date, and the girl I'm with was chasing me around with koala hand puppets (It was at Chapters, don't get too freaked out) asking for a hug. I happen to be terrified of koalas*, so I ran away. Later I was like, "D'oh."
Although I found a random excuse to make it up to her.

*Is that just me? Those things are drunken KILLING MACHINES.

 

[Daroesb]

I walked into a mirror.

Seriously

 

[Funkysandwich]

A friend of mine was getting some chips out of the deep fryer at work, and noticed that some hot oil was dripping from the basket thingy onto the bench. So he put his hand under it to catch the drops.

 

[Insert Comedy Here]

Few years ago, the power went out on the street. Someone told me to check if the fridge was out, and when I turned to actually go and check, they burst out laughing.

I still went to check. I wanted to save my Cokes.

 

[jeff02x2]

nothing recently, but i have done quite a few stupid things .

i once rode my bike into a parked car and fractured my skull and mashed up alot of my body, coughed up enough blood to soak two hand cloths.

i was swapping the tv in my room so i put the new one on the bed (top bunk) whilst i took the old one off the cupboard, then when i put the old one on the bed it bounced the new one off the bed and in blind panick i tried to stop it hitting the floor with my foot. damage to tv = minimal, damage to my foot = A LOT.

left the best till last, running around in my garden when i was around 4 or 5 and had something very similar to a "bite the curb" moment. i tripped over some twigs and landed on a 2 brick high wall with my top teeth. it diddnt knock the teeth out it just pushed them up into my gums so they were horizontal and in lign with the top of my mouth. was ok the dentist pulled them out with pliers and i had no front teeth for around 3 years till my new ones grew in .

 

[IckleMissMayhem]

I walked into a mirror.

Seriously

It's not quite as impressive, but I once did a really good job of cleaning the patio doors where I lived/worked. Within 5 mins, two kids had bounced off the shut door, thinking it was open, as they didn't notice the glass. Once I'd stopped rolling on the floor laughing, I checked they were both alright. Job well done, methinks!!

 

[Nanaki316]

Not so recent but when I was at school I once walked into a parked car on the way home. That's right, a PARKED car.

 

[Benj17]

Slipped on ice when i was going to get my lunch, then slipped on the exact same piece coming back with it, damn suit shoes